I don't think mom wanted me to be a ninja
by prototype gear
Summary: one day Arceus got bored. so he grabbed some random shmuk, gave him six pokemon and a partner then sealed kyreum into him, before preoceeding to throw his ass into the naruto unviverse. Forced to be the entertainment of a god, Luke Unova will be the best that ever was. even if the information he had on the universe keeps on failing him. minato kushina alive. OC insert.
1. Chapter 1

**welp, first story. reviews would be liked, borderline needed. I want to know what I did wrong, what I can improve on, and all that shit. although 20 pages and over seven thousand words sounds like a promising beginning, I would prefer shorter chapter in the future. oh well.**

 **I don't own anything except for my OC's. naruto belongs to masashi kishimoto, who's brother made a better story. and it was shorter too. and a lot better than naruto. yeah I said it. oh and Pokémon is owned by Nintendo.**

 **just to warn people, perspective jump every now and then. next chapter and all subsequent chapters will be third person.**

 **I don't think mom wanted me to be a ninja.**

 **ch 1: first 8 years.**

Yo, names Luke. And I got a bit of a statement to say. But before that do I have a story to tell. Let's take a trip some eight years back.

Ya know, most people believe that the universe revolves around mystical cosmic forces, a deity, motherfucking science, or in some cases, awesome (church of captain falcon anybody?).

Turns out it revolves around Arceus. Funny how the truth is sometimes.

I remember it like a wavy flashback. I was just chillaxin like a baler in my room. Lilipup in lap an' everything. Next thing I know I'm in the fucking hall of origin.

It's an ethereal kind of place. For one, it's in the void of space. Two, it's not a hall, more like on giant see-through glass platform. With bookshelves a floating TV here or there, a second floor, all that kind of stuff. But it has this…atmosphere that just tells you that you're in the wrong place. And to top it all off, there was the big man (horse thing?) him/her/itself.

He was there…sitting I would say. But considering he had four legs it was kinda awkward looking. I mean he was just sitting…laying on this REALLY nice looking giant ass couch. He had bloody reading glasses on and there was a book floating in front of him to top it off.

Then the book floats down onto this transparent glass table that's about the size of a house, oh and it had a crystal ball on it for some reason. Then he looks at me and I have to say, those eyes of his are intimidating. It's like looking into a fire that's constantly changing colors. You don't know why it does it, but you're entranced anyway. Not to mention having to stare up at his imposing form. Really makes you feel insignificant. Although the conversation was kinda…weird.

" **So Luke**... **what do you think of ninjas**?"

"Uhh…their cool…I guess?"

" **Good answer** ".

Good answer? Really that's a good answer? Well that wasn't really what was going through my mind when I said that. For one his voice was DEEP. I mean like I'm-from-the-blackest-abyss kind of deep. And his voice didn't come from one direction. It came from ALL THE DIRECTIONS. Oh and it sounded sexy.

Hey I'm a guy, I can admit to being inferior to a god in the octave department.

Needless to say, I was positively crapping myself.

"So why was I ca-"

" **Sending you to the Naruto universe** "

"wh-"

" **As a jinchuriki** "

"Da fu-"

" **You'll be reborn** "

"Hold up n-"

" **Putting Kyreum in you** "

"What a damn mi-"

" **I know you played mystery dungeon**. **Who do you want for a partner on this trip**?"

"Can I at least fini-"

" **Ah** , **you want a gardevior**? **Sure thing**."

"How the hell do yo-"

" **Mind reading motherfucker** , **do you even**? "

"I'm not psychic you-"

" **Oh and I made a Pokémon summoning contract**. **Your name and your partners are already in it**. **Any questions**?"

"A few, why me, why are you doing this, and can I go home?"

" **Your name came up as the lucky winner in the lottery** , **I'm bored** , **and no you can't go home**. **Anything else**?"

"Yeah, you're a dick."

" **Like I give a fuck**. **Have fun**!"

That probably wasn't the conversation most would expect from god. But honestly the sheer amount of casual that was dripping from his words made me do the same. Think it's a psychic ability or something?

And the next thing I knew was darkness. And I'll say it right now. Going through the process of being reborn sucks.

Because one, I was aware I was in a goddamn womb. Two I WAS AWARE I WAS IN A GODDAMN WOMB. And three, I couldn't see shit. Oh I was aware, but that doesn't translate to being in misery. For one it was actually quite comforting. I felt safe, protected…not loved. Yeah I wasn't feeling the love. Protected? Yeah. Humiliation? I felt like I went to prison in a bright pink tutu.

However I had to spend most of my time stuck in a womb somehow. So I came to terms with my situation.

I never liked Naruto. Not the character, just the way the story was directed.

It had potential. At first it was great. But then came he problems. The whole bring sasuke back thing that pervaded most of shippuden was just…no. it kind of ruined it for me. But now because of a god I didn't think existed in any form of reality I'm going to be stuck in that same universe. And I knew that I was stuck in it because one, I was in a womb. And the other reason?

I felt chakra, or what I believed to be chakra. It was warm. And everywhere in my body. I could feel it coursing through my not yet ready to be born body. And it felt alien. So I willed it to stop circling through my body. But I also felt another source of power in me as well.

Kyreum.

It felt…empty, hallow. And very lonely. Well I guess knowing what Kyreum is it's only to be expected. Maybe later in this life I can fill him with my truths and ideals? But yeah, if there was a chakra system circling though me then there was a third system as well. In my so far 8 month imprisonment inside the human womb I came up with a name for this third system. The third system in my body. Or the TTSB for short.

I am a creative genius.

It's strange but whenever I tried to talk to him he would just say "wait to your born" and then go to sleep. I had no mindscape but I could talk to him in my mind. But whenever I tried to channel his power he warned me to stop. Said that it could hurt the women who was pregnant with me.

Made sense. But his power felt cold. Not the 'I have ice in my veins kind of cold', but the lonely kind of cold.

But then I had another thing to think about.

My partner. Would Arceus really send a ralts, kirlia, or gardevior? I know he said that I would have a partner, but was it really certain that said partner would actually be of the ralts family? Furthermore, would it really be another Pokémon? Or a human that has Pokémon like abilities.

And then I was born. Or was it reborn in this case? Well to start it off it was actually really painful. Getting shoved from the comfort of my peaceful abode out into the world of ninjas and death were even a child has to fight for his life. Did I mention that I think Arceus putting me in this world was a terrible idea?

But yeah it was real sudden. One minute I'm contemplating the meaning of life (its 42) then PAIN. I mean it HURT like a motherfucker. I don't know how long it took for me to be pushed out. But by the time I was out I was bawling my entire water supply out. It hurt that bad.

Then it felt like I was being carried. And protected. And…loved? Yep, I'm in mommies arms now. You see most people would be freaking out if they were in my position. But I had 9 months to come to terms with my situation. I'm pretty sure I can find love in this world right? All is fair in love and war and whatnot?

But all good things come to an end. As I would later find out, I was born two days before the kyubi attack. My parents were shinobi. A Chunnin and a jonin to be exact. Mom was the jonin. She wore the pants in the relationship as well. They went to fight off the fox.

They never came back.

That day was probably the most terrifying thing I will ever experience. Everything's all peaceful and then BAM, horrible oppressive feeling of death everywhere. I wanted to crawl away and hide. Of course being a two day old baby I started bawling. Mother dear put me in the hands of someone else and then went off to die.

Like all tragic heroes I went through the orphaning. The process of getting a tragic backstory that makes people pity and cheer you on when they see you fighting against the odds. I was brought to the orphanage by the hokage himself, as well as little baby Naruto…and a ralts.

My partner, who was made fun of for looking like a freak compared to everyone else. She was in the same boat as me. Incredibly intelligent (psychic powers) and was sensitive to her chakra network like me. And she had the TTSB as well.

Everyone in the orphanage was treated the same…except for her and Naruto and eventually me when I helped her against some older kids who were being complete pricks to her.

Children are dicks. Just wanted to say that.

Life at the orphanage was not fun. Well at first it was. Kids wanted to play with me. Although a lot of the kids were downright bullies. Understandable considering that a majority of the kids had lost their parents to the kyubi.

In the beginning I experimented with chakra. I channeled it, or rather willed it, to go to certain parts of my body. The odd thing is that chakra doesn't like to be forced to do what you want it to do. It's like a disobedient puppy that you have to be really strict with. It's for that reason that people find it easier to channel more chakra when angered, but that lacks finesse.

I started with trying to make myself stick to walls.

My head hit a table after one step.

It's just so…draining to use one word. Considering what exactly chakra is that's understandable. So I decided to stick leaves and shit to myself with chakra to help with my control. I don't expect to be a god by the time I get to the academy with my partner, but considering the clan heirs that I will most likely be sharing a class with will be trained by their respective clans, I decided that I was justified in starting early.

Of course my partner agreed to this as well. Considering it was her who gave me the idea.

Athena pantheon (really Arceus?) was a ralts who had lived a previous life like myself. So we tended to stick together. And considering her mental prowess in conjunction with her psychic powers…yeah it's not a smart idea to piss her off.

She could be the most innocent thing one minute, and the one wearing the pants the second. She was also a damn good cook in her previous life so at least one of us knew how to make more than two different kinds of meals. While I have nothing against Mexican food, it gets old quick. Although she has this strange ability were she summons out this hannya mask.

And yes it is indeed terrifying. Seriously that shit is scary. Of course there was my other fellow orphan, Naruto uzamaki.

Poor kid would always be picked on by other kids, and the glares of hatred, the shunning from almost all of society, it was too much for a child. No one should suffer that.

So we took pity on him.

We found him all alone on a swing. In an empty park. He had a few tears streaming down his face.

I wanted to punch something.

When we asked if the kid wanted to play with us the sheer joy that showed on his face…it was heartbreaking. Seeing that smile on that blonde whiskered face of his though…it was worth it. We were something the abused 3 year old kid didn't have until then.

A friend.

It was after that that we three became none as the freak three.

Athena for looking exactly like a ralts.

Me for being a gray haired kid with freaky eyes: light blue iris and yellow pupil with a crystalline pattern.

And Naruto for being the kyubi container.

The people at the orphanage took exception to our little trio and promptly gave me and Athena the same treatment as Naruto. That meant scraps for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, being abused by the staff (except for this one nice old lady), getting picked on, and given barely decent clothes.

The matron of the orphanage was a bitch in particular. You see not only did she lose a husband in the kyubi attack, but she lost her son, and her daughter. Understandable, but do you really need to try and cut off a 4 year old naruto's fingers? Me and Athena, my partner, took exception to that. So one confusion from a VERY angry ralts, and an ice reinforced punch to the gut later our little trio found ourselves in the third Hokage's office.

Hiruzen Sarutobi, the professor, was the third hokage of Konohagakure, the village hidden in the leaves in the land of fire. He was the oldest hokage out of the four, and the only one to outlive his other two predecessors. Yes, two.

Minato Namikaze was still alive, as well as his wife. I found that out when I was three. Athena theorized that he sealed the power of kurama in his daughter, who looked like a mini kushina, and sealed the consciousness of the fox in his son. Who he believed the fox took over. Judging by the amount of hate emanating off of him whenever he saw Naruto was anything to go by. Athena's power to feel emotions really came in handy when trying to avoid the mobs of drunken people looking to kill Naruto.

However the third hokage was still like a grandfather to little Naruto. And because he considered me and Athena to be his adoptive brother and sister you can see that the old man considered our little trio his surrogate grandchildren.

Catching my reflection in the window I decided to scrutinize my clothes. Epic black sunglasses? Check

Light blue shorts? Check.

Gray shirt? Check.

Yellow shoulder pads for no reason than to complete the color scheme? Check.

Dark blue open toed sandals? Check.

Then I decided to scrutinize Athena's fashion sense. White open toed ninja sandals? Check.

White short-sleeve shirt with the mega stone symbol design (where did she get that?) with green shorts? Check.

Although her chest horn was sticking out. She looked like a cross between a ralts and kirlia. Her hair wasn't in pigtails like a kirlia, but it wasn't shadowing her eyes like a ralts. Her green hair was held up by a hairband.

Naruto was wearing a dark blue shirt with the uzamaki swirl on the back of it, blue sandals, and orange shorts.

Hiruzen Sarutobi was simply sitting in his office chair smoking his pipe as he looked us over. The old man simply sighed before sitting up in his chair to lean his head forward.

"It would seem that I can't send you three back to the orphanage due to violent" he said in massive air quotes "behavior that the matron is complaining about . But I can get you three an apartment complex."

Well that was nice. We get to leave the metaphorical hell that we spent the last four years in and get to live together. So what's the catch?

"Except all three of you will be living in the same room."

That's not so bad.

"And I can give each of you a steeped to take care of yourselves."

And this was where I interjected. "So what's the catch grandfather?"

He always smiled when I called him that. It always brought a certain joy to his heart to see that I guess. Well we three are heartwarming orphans. Who wouldn't smile at us when we expressed joy, oh wait.

"Always perceptive aren't you?" he said with obvious pride in his voice before continuing. "That's as far as I can help you without drawing the yondaime's ire."

Me and Athena informed Naruto of our little theory as to why he was hated so much. It really deflated him to know that his hero was really a jerk. The old man was of the same opinion of the fourth hokage as us, he's an idiot. But it did help him out that I could get Kyreum to convince kurama to help the guy out and teach him things at night. Like writing and basic mathematics.

Yeah me and Kyreum are in synch with each other. Probably the agreed sentiment that Arceus was a douche helped out. He began tutoring me in the use of his power. And I can say it right now. Being able to create anything out of ice is friggin awesome. Although I never I understood why the language of this place was so easy for me to pick up until Kyreum informed me that yes, English is the universal language.

Ever after my whole rebirth thing he doesn't talk much. He really just sleeps most of the time. Can't complain though, he helps when I need it.

Although I still get chills whenever I use his power.

"Old man you know us better than that, are you saying we can't take care of ourselves?" ah, Athena and her sickeningly sweet sounding voice. You would think she was an incredibly dainty flower until you see her materialize her fucking **HANNYA** **MASK** that she has. Seriously, that think is scary.

Said old man knew that tone of voice and quickly denied any doubt he had in the three of us. Except for Naruto, he claimed that he would spend it all on ramen. Which was true. He did.

One day the old man came by the orphanage to do his monthly visits for Naruto. When he saw the three of us playing he decided to take the three of us somewhere to eat. That place was ichuraku's ramen. Hot damn is that stuff good. But I'm getting sidetracked.

The old former hokage guided us to our new apartment. It was actually very nice. There was a living room that was very spacious, a decent sized kitchen, a balcony, and one bedroom, with one bed. Considering we three considered each other siblings (except for me and Athena. We might become more than partners sometime in the future we thought…she really didn't care that we were two different species.) We didn't have a problem sharing one bed. But in the future? Hell no.

To point something out, my body in this world is much stronger physically than the one back in my old world. For one, I could pick up heavier objects as a four year old here than in the other world. Oh that 20 pound weight that you used to exercise as a six year old? Remember that? Well it weighs practically nothing over here. That took some getting used to.

It wouldn't be until a month later that me and Athena decided to let Naruto sign the Pokémon summoning contract. You see the way it works is that you only get six Pokémon to summon, and a legendary for a boss summon. For life. What those Pokémon are is up to who you are. And you don't summon fully evolved Pokémon either. You summon baby Pokémon so that they can grow beside you.

I've only summoned two, a froakie and a fletchling.

Although the summoning for Pokémon was a bit different as well. From what I remember, ninja had to do handsigns, and then offer a blood sacrifice to do the summoning. Pokémon don't have any of that just slam your hand down on any surface with the appropriate amount of chakra imbued into it and then bam, bobs your uncle.

First and foremost, for Naruto to summon the contract I need to open the damn scroll up. And for that I need-

" **Summoning jutsu** : **klefki**!"

-my damn car keys.

Klefki is a bit of a special case. He's the key holder so he doesn't count as one of the six. In fact anyone who's signed the contract can summon him.

I always found the damn sentient key ring to be one of the most dangerous Pokémon. At least in double battles. Little did I know of the chaos that was about to happen due to my summoning…

"Yo wassup Luke my man?"

"I need to open up the damn scroll. We got a new summoner that I think is worthy".

In actuality there is no stupid test like having to hang onto gamabunta's back till sundown or anything like that. You just have to pure of heart and honest of goals to be accepted as a summoner for the all the Pokémons.

We were in the living room getting stuff moved in that the third hokage discreetly bought. It was thing like couches, more beds, food supplies (Athena was a great cook), potted plants (Naruto), and academy textbooks, chakra control exercise scrolls, and a few jutsu scrolls. Just E-rank stuff like the henge and bushin, except in naruto's case. He got taught the kage bushin due to his enormous reserves. They weren't at the level of the fourth Hokage's daughter, but still damn impressive even for an uzamaki according to the old man.

He even brought us chakra paper to test our affinities. My paper got frozen, then one half lit on fire, and the other sparked electricity. Reshiram, Zekrom, and Kyreum.

Athena had a lightning and earth dual nature. Odd considering those two were opposites.

Naruto's was the most surprising. Instead of getting fuuton like I thought he would, he got suiton. But what was shocking was that the entire paper became water. According to the old man that meant that naruto's affinity for water was as strong as the nindaime's.

So naturally we began working on elemental manipulation. I honestly saw it as a bigger weapon than any jutsu. What with my ice-make like abilities and naruto's nature manipulation where he could form anything out of water. So what if you can launch a water shark at me? Naruto can just waterbend it away. But that wasn't the only stuff that we were practicing.

Through the power of the henge, which Naruto transformed into a full on transformation technique, we three could finally buy groceries and books without being overcharged or given expired goods. But back to the signing.

"These summons look weak"

When Athena's not home naruto's more…blunt attitude comes out to play.

I would then notice that dark look on klefki's face. It was the I'm-gonna-do-an-evil-prank look that would bring nightmares to the recipient for years.

"Well how bout' this fool? You, me, prank war. It begins right here and now. Or are you gonna back down like a little bitch?"

I simply sighed and began to countdown.

3…

2…

1…

0

"Oh it is on motherfucker!"

Where did a four year old learn language like that anyway?

 ***back in minato's office***

The fourth hokage was locked in a furious battle with his mortal enemy. This was an opponent that has met men greater than the yellow flash blow for blow, has broken the mightiest of the gods champions, makes every living human tremble in his/her/its boots.

This enemy was paperwork. And the yondaime just knew that his mortal foe had called in reinforcements. Why? Because if one would to look out his window they would notice that civilians were running around in the streets like headless chickens.

The walls of many buildings were painted an assorted combinations of colors that looked like a rainbow puked on them. The signs for bathrooms were switched. The walls separating the women's side of the hot springs were removed, and the women were attacking people indiscriminately, blinded by feminine rage. All the flak jackets of the villages Chunnin and jonin were pink instead of green, and there were a bunch of penises drawn on the hokage monument.

Kushina, who was out shopping with her daughter, saw all the chaos unfold, and the cause of it all. She couldn't help but feel as if her title as the prankster empress of konoha was being challenged. And then she promptly crumpled in defeat when she saw what was drawn on the hokage monument. Knowing that she could not top that she admitted defeat to whomever it was that had the balls to paint the hokage monument.

She was about to go into the fetal position and begin to rock back and forth, that is until she saw a green haired little girl with a…hannya mask floating behind her? She didn't know if it was a trick of the light, but that didn't matter because she and aiko, her daughter, hightailed it out of there the moment they saw the mask.

 ***with Hiruzen***

The former hokage was looking out of his window from his house as he saw the pandemonium unfold outside. With a sigh he could only say one thing.

"Ain't nobody got time for that…I'm too old for this shit."

And the moment those words were said another flashbang went off in the hyuga compound. Which had all its walls replaced with mirrors.

Hiashi would forever become paranoid about the 'flashbang monster in the closet'.

 ***back with Luke***

"Dear mother of Arceus…"

What could I say? Klefki and Naruto hit it off like a house and fire and he signed the scroll just so he could summon klefki and prank people. I almost pitied Minato what with the amount of damage control he had to be running.

Of course I got out and dodged the moment I felt Athena walk back. The aura of death that pervaded the entire apartment was warning enough.

Naruto's and klefki's screams were heard all around the village. Strangely enough, the people who recognized the voice behind the screams couldn't help but feel sorry for the demon brat.

Even with the sheer absurdity of my situation, I couldn't help but smile. It looks like this life was going to be fun.

The next 2 years came and went by. Nothing much of interest happened. Nothing much happened except for that one event on September 23. Just a few days before the academy started.

We were at the park when it happened.

"Hey what's up with your eyes blindy?" came the mean spirited voice.

We three were just out at the park playing like normal children when we saw the hyuga heiress getting bullied by three older kids. She was a meek little thing. Blue hair that framed her face, white-lavender eyes and she was wearing a pink-white kimono.

One of the three kids was behind the tree she was cornered at, pulling her arms so that she couldn't defend herself. Dirtbags.

"Hey I heard that you blind people had some kind of amazing taijutsu? Care to show us?" asshat number 1 sneered as he approached the hyuga girl and punched her in the stomach.

Well that was our Que. Naruto moved first. He sprinted and tackled the asshat that punched her and began to maul him as he was pushed to the ground.

Athena simply used confusion against asshat number 2's feeble mind. He was the one was pulling the hyuga girl-hinata was it? Well he crumpled down to the ground, his lights knocked out.

Me? I simply covered naruto's back as the third kid was about to help the gangs leader. Well he would have if he didn't get a fist to the stomach that sent him back a bit.

Oh he got up and got into a defensive stance, while I got into a boxing stance. Left hand and right hand in front if my face with the right hand a bit further away, with my right leg in front and my left leg back. He was an academy student I could tell that much. Time to see how I stand up.

He came at me with a sloppy right hook.

Duck under

Jab with right hand

Grab his shirt with left hand

Uppercut him in the stomach three times

Let go so he can stumble back

And sock him in the face with a mean left hook

Let him crumble down to the ground

…I love punching people in the face.

Help up the hyuga heiress.

Or try to in my case, Naruto was on the job. One look from Athena and I knew it was better to let Naruto make a new friend. So me and her went over to the bench and sat down.

He offered the hyuga girl his hand to which she gladly took. "Hey my names Naruto, what's yours?"

The girl had a blush on her face as she spoke. "I-its hinata h-hyuga. Th-thank you f-for your help. B-but y-you shouldn't h-have done th-that…"

She had such a soft voice that me and Athena could hardly hear. Thankfully a little application of chakra to the ear solved that case.

Naruto simply put his hands behind his head as he simply adopted a confused look as he asked "why shouldn't we have done that? They were hurting a cute girl and no one was helping. So we did what other people should've done. Simple as that."

Hinata seemed to blush at the 'cute girl' comment before she dipped her head down. "I-its because i-i-im a f-f-failure." And the moment she said that the floodgates opened. Real smooth Naruto. I mean she looked like she was on the verge of crying when she was getting beat up but really? Two sentences and you make the girl cry?

"You're not a failure"

That seemed to make the girls stop crying. I will admit it was amusing to see little Naruto hug the girl before saying those words.

"w-what?"

"I said you're not a failure"

"H-how do y-you know t-that? Every one of th-the c-clan t-tells me th-that i-im a f-failure…"

Well that sucks. Your own family telling you that you're not even worth the dirt on their boots.

"Because a failure would have given up. When those jerks pinned you down you didn't stop resisting. A failure is someone who gives up. Now have you given up?"

"n-no…"

"Then you're not a failure"

That seemed to make the girls day. Athena nudged me on so I followed her. When we came up to the two of them I let her lead.

Hinata noticed the two of us and…used Naruto as a shield. She's your problem now boy.

"My names Athena, and this is my partner Luke" she said gesturing to me.

"Yo" I held out my hand for her to shake.

"These two are siblings" Naruto said with a smile as hinata shacked me hand.

"Now that introductions are out of the way and the three dipshits are gone, would you like to play with us?" Athena said holding up the ball we were playing with…by using her mind.

That seemed to get a gasp of surprise from hinata "y-y-you can…?"

Athena nodded "it's a bloodline ability. I can do multiple things with my mind alone, Luke can make anything out of ice, and Naruto can…waterbend."

And to demonstrate Naruto pulled water pout of the air to make a water ball…before he threw it at the unconscious form of the bully that he himself beat the everliving shit out of. He didn't wake up.

Eventually hinata was pulled out of her shocked state by a water ball from Naruto before she agreed to play with the three of us.

It was a couple of hours later that her guardian, Ko, found her playing with the three of us. Actually he was there since the beginning. We would later find out that he let her play with us because we were the first friends she ever had.

Ever since then the three of us would meet up with hinata in that park to play with her, and eventually we began to include her into our training sessions. You see last year we three started to do early training before the academy. These included doing chakra control exercises, like the sticking a leaf onto ourselves, walking up trees, although none of us could actually do the whole Jesus walking thing, basic exercises (push-ups, hitting logs, running lapse) and manipulating elements. Of course we spared every now and then. Surprisingly Athena, the psychic type, was the one who won the most spars.

Although we each did bring out one of our six every now and then. I brought out froakie and fletchling so that they could play with hinata. Although Naruto seemed to only summon one Pokémon, and said Pokémon is…

…klefki. Just so he could help him prank people. He would call it stealth training. Stealth training that would eventually devolve to a prank war with Namikaze kushina's daughter, who was naruto's twin sister.

We didn't know that an alakazam could read someone's genetic code until we tried. And the truth of his parentage really pissed the kid off. He even went up to the old man and demanded why he didn't tell him. His response?

"Because they aren't your father or mother if they abandon you"

Ever since then he let go of his anger and hate for his former family. He regards them as strangers now

Iruka Imuno was a Chunnin, now academy teacher, whose parents died in the kyubi attack. At first he hated Naruto for simply existing, believing that he was the fox reincarnated. That is until the third hokage took him to the park.

-Blast to the past-

 _"_ _Lord third is there any reason that you asked me to follow you?"_

 _The Chunnin and kage level shinobi were simply standing under a tree watching the sight of all the children playing. Iruka noticed the smile on the former kage's face and found him staring at a particular group of children that were playing by the swings._

 _Iruka's eyes narrowed and a scowl found its way onto his features upon seeing the 'freak three'. The demon child Naruto uzamaki, Athena pantheon, and Luke Unova. Iruka never had anything against the last two (until a certain slip n' slide incident) but the demon that dared to wear the skin of a child killed his parents._

 _"_ _Tell me Iruka, what do you see? For me when I see those children playing I see the future" the elderly kage spoke._

 _"_ _I…" he was about to say his parents murderer, but couldn't. why? Because he saw the smiling face of the accused. He saw the pure joy in the child's face as pushed the swing that hinata was on. He saw that same joy reflected in the heiresses face and the other two members of the trio._

 _How could any demon show such joy? How could any demon glow with such happiness? How could any demon look so…innocent?_

 _And then he had his answer._

 _"_ _I see a group of friends that I would gladly teach." He said with a smile._

 _Hiruzen then patted the Chunnin on the back. "Show them the way to the future instructor" was all he said before he took his leave._

 _"_ _I will sir" he whispered. But the former hokage heard it. And smiled._

-And back to the present-

Now that he knew the truth that Naruto was not the fox reincarnated he couldn't help but feel exited. Who wouldn't? Here he was his first ever class that he had to teach and it was filled predominantly with clan heirs and heiresses!

Iruka was still smiling as he made his way over to his classroom. That smiling soon stopped as he opened the door and the sonic boom of a noisy classroom hit him fool blast

" _Why did I think this was a good idea_?"

Athena wasn't like other Pokémon. She knew that. She had been dealt a hand by her master Arceus. She would become a shinobi like her partner, who happened to have the legendary Pokémon Kyreum sealed into him.

She wasn't going to ask how that worked but from what she could figure out it involved fusing Kyreum to the DNA splicers, then fusing him into his human host. This would make him a jinchuriki to put it in human terms. And the fusion showed in his gray hair that bent down low enough to cover one eye and the color of his eyes. A light blue iris and a yellow pupil in a crystalline pattern.

Again her thoughts were drawn back to her partner, he was…confused at first. He is rather sarcastic and a bit of a jerk. To her he expresses his thoughts plainly for the world to see. He thinks you're an asshole? Punch to the face. Nice guy? Shake his hand. Pun master? Worships the ground he walks on. But beneath all that Athena knew he was panicking. Who wouldn't? He was shoved into a world of death without any say or any warning.

Of course living with him and Naruto was much better than living at the orphanage where she met her partner…

" _Freak_!"

" _Leave us alone_!"

" _No one wants you_!"

It was things like that that were said to her. A lot of times she started to cry from the sheer malice that pervaded the area whenever those children would turn their sites to her. And then Luke intervened.

-Blast to the past-

 _The body of a ralts was thrown against the base of a tree as a gang of the schoolyard bullies laughed as her frail body hit the tree._

 _"_ _Wow can you even do anything freak?"_

 _"_ _Mom always did say that freaks like her shouldn't exist."_

 _"_ _She won't even speak up or yell bout this. She's weak!" the third and final member of the gang said. It seemed that groups like these always came in groups of three._

 _And yes up until that day she hadn't said a single word in her second life._

 _But it would seem that someone would finally come to her aid. Because a child's voice broke out just before the third member of the gang could hit her._

 _"_ _Probably because you're not worthy to hear her voice" spoke the voice before a hand grabbed the bully closest to the tree by the head and slammed it into the tree. Startling the other two bullies in the process._

 _"_ _Why are you helping her?" the bully closest to her said. The response?_

 _"_ _Because fuck you that's why" he spoke in deadpan._

 _The other bully who hadn't done much up to this point besides stand off to the side gasped at the language said by the 3 three old boy…before getting socked in the face._

 _The third boy, seeing his friend's violent treatment took off crying, as did the other two. They were just three year old children so it was expected._

 _Athena at this point didn't know what to do, was this boy going to help her? Be her friend? Or…hurt her? What he did surprised her._

 _He came up to her and ruffled her hair. That's not what shocked her. It was the words he spoke that did._

 _"_ _So you're my partner. Well I'm lucky that your cute you know that right?"_

 _One, she was called cute instead of freak; two he was her partner, three he was being nice to her. Finally her nightmare of evil children had ended!_

 _And since that day he has had her eternal loyalty. Not that he would abuse it. In his own words "I'm not a douche"._

-back to the present—

As she looked back on the memories of the previous years of living together with her partner and adoptive brother she couldn't help but smile. Compared to the day at the orphanage she was living the dream now. And even now that she was about to entire her 'kirlia' years.

She was brought out of her walk down memory lane as she bumped into Naruto who was in front of her.

The three of them were heading to the academy for the first day of their education. Although they were going in with a plan.

There was a tradition to set up a team with the best kunoichi, rookie of the year, and class dobe.

Naruto was going to be the dobe, Luke the rookie of the year, and Athena the kunoichi of the year.

"Hey Naruto why did you stop?"

She got her answer when she saw who had just dropped off their kid.

Minato and kushina Namikaze had just dropped off their kid. Aiko uzamaki-Namikaze. The holder of the kyubi no kitsune's chakra and naruto's twin sister that he was abandoned for.

"So that's what I could have had…" she heard him whisper. His voice didn't hold any scorn or any malice. It was neutral. But his emotions told a different story. They showed just how much he longed for her. To know just what kind of person his biological sister was. Athena knew she had to do something.

She tapped him and sent a small thunder wave through him, catching his attention. Naruto jumped up before fixing a hard stare at Athena. "You can talk to her at the academy Naruto" she told him.

He nodded and hit Luke in the back of the head to get his attention. It would seem that he took exception to that. Luke is the one who hits people in the face. Not others.

"Wha- bro, really!?" the grey haired lad exclaimed. "I was coming up with the greatest chess strategy ever!"

Because Luke and Athena didn't want to learn how to play shogi, the Japanese version of chess (to them) they taught Naruto chess. After Luke had fashioned all the pieces out of nevermeltice. Another gift from Kyreum.

Athena simply rolled her eyes. "We're almost at the academy, do you two remember the plan?" she asked in a hushed voice.

"I remember sis/yeah calm your tits!" came the two replies.

Upon processing Luke's answer the hanya mask took form behind her as she adopted a sickeningly sweet smile and an aura that promised pain enveloped her.

"What was that Luke? You want me to break all the bones in your body?" she asked in an innocent voice that sounded a bit _too_ innocent.

"n-no ma'am!" was the immediate reply.

"Good, now where did the namikaze's go?" she questioned.

This brought the two boys out of their terror and made them look around for the redhead and blonde duo. Only for them to have disappeared.

"Huh, think my incredible amount of awesome scared them off?" boasted Luke.

"I don't know. Think something else scared them off?" retorted Naruto, and in turn both 6 year olds looked at Athena, who was looking to the side whistling a tune.

"…it was the mask want it" the duo deadpanned.

"Maaaaaaay-be" the accused sing-songed.

There was silence before Athena decided to just move on and grabbed them both before heading to the room their class was at.

And as for my statement?

-extra-

Kushina felt it…that same aura of death that pervaded the air that day…it was nearby. She began to look around wildly, searching for the cause of that horrible nightmare. What she found surprised her…and scared her.

It was kyubi…the monster that had possessed her child...as well as the monster that challenge her daughter to a prank war that he was winning. There was also the gray haired kid with the hyoton bloodline that always hanged around her former son. But they weren't the source.

Kushina almost gasped in surprise. It was the same green haired girl from the market two years ago!

And there it was…the hannya mask. Terror filled her very being as she did the only thing that made sense to her…make minato hirashin them away.

She grabbed onto his arm and began pointing at the horrifying visage of the floating mask while babbling incoherent words, drawing his attention and making him practically crap himself, he then wrapped his arms around her before teleporting them back to their home.

Kushina, as well as minato would later be going to monthly therapy sessions with Inoichi Yamanaka. Although when he peered into her memories he too would eventually end up in therapy as well. The entire Yamanaka therapy cell would later declare the case a lost cause and moved on with their lives.

Minato and kushina were never the same ever again.

Although their daughter would forever wonder why her parents would become completely white in color whenever she brought out a mask to try and scare them.


	2. Chapter 2

**welp heres the second one. for the people that review could you point out anything I need to improve. it would be much appreciated.**

 **also could someone do a vampire naruko fic where the parents are still alive? im surprised I haven't found many vamp naruto fics.**

 **I don't own anything except for me OC's. naruto belongs to a guy called kishimoto and he cant write for crap. and Pokémon belongs to the ingenious bastards over at Nintendo.**

 **chapter 2: A Change in a Flash.**

If one would describe the classroom that one Chunnin Iruka had to teach, it would be with colorful words.

Chaotic.

Hell

Nightmare

Filled with…chirin (yes it's a word)

" _For the love of god why did I think that this was a good idea_?"

And said Chunnin was currently crying tears in his mind at the harsh reality of his situation.

He signed up to teach the next generation of ninja, not a bunch of devil-spawn!

Sighing for the umpteenth time, Iruka went over the children that stood out in his class.

Shino Aburame. Silent, calm, bit of a social outcast, strange obsession with…teddy bears?

Okay moving on.

Ino Yamanaka, good aim, interest in poisons, takes care of flowers, and…gossip queen?

Iruka decided to change the hiding spot of his icha icha ones every month, scratch that, every week.

Kiba Inuzuka. Brash, a bit arrogant (thankfully not uchiha levels), likes his puppy, and…instigated a prank war with aiko Namikaze?

He decided to keep a close eye on his surroundings. Being drenched in dog piss did not sound like a fun idea to Iruka.

Nara Shikamaru. Lazy, highly intelligent, likes to cloud watch. Strange fascination with melons.

Okay…moving on.

Sasuke uchiha. Arrogant, prideful, big-brother hero worship complex borderline obsession.

Iruka just pretended he didn't see that.

Hinata hyuga. Shy, great at taijutsu, stalks Naruto.

Iruka made a mental reminder to have hinata visit a Yamanaka for mental evaluation.

Sakura Haruno. Civilian girl. Amazing chakra control, enrolled into an apprenticeship to Senju Tsunade. Stalks sasuke.

Was Ino the only normal girl here? Maybe being a Yamanaka helped that out?

Choji Akamitchi. Kind hearted kid, loyal, has the clan trigger word.

" _don't call him fat, don't call him fat, don't call him fat..._ "

Aiko uzamaki-Namikaze, konoha's princess, currently in a prankster war, ramen obsession, a prodigy.

Two pranksters, Iruka was getting nervous.

Now Iruka came to the three that actually interested him. It was the freak three.

Luke Unova. Sarcastic and snarky, prone to punching people in the face, loyal to those that have earned his trust, and near perfect mastery of the hyoton bloodline.

Now THAT made Iruka's eyes go wide. Konoha had a user of the hyoton bloodline? And near perfect mastery at the age of three? That sent alarm bells in Iruka's head.

Moving on. Athena pantheon. High mental prowess, observed moving things with her mind alone, beware the hannya mask. Do not risk her ire.

Iruka had to sweatdrop at that. Surely she couldn't be that bad…right?

And finally the one that Iruka actually wanted to see.

Naruto uzamaki. Nindaime levels of water manipulation, highly empathetic, ramen obsession, currently in a prankster war with aiko Namikaze.

Iruka went from shock to face desk in the span of two second upon reading that. Nindaime levels of water manipulation? Only those from whirlpool had skill that rivalled Tobimira! And the ramen obsession really? Prankster war? Just how could someone be so stupid, yet be brilliant like the fourth hoka…

And then it hit him.

Blond hair.

Blue eyes.

Ramen obsession.

Prankster nature.

Jinchuriki.

The fourth hokage had disowned his own son!?

He believed that the fox took over his son?

How stupid could the man be?

Is that why the third asked him to be a big brother to the little guy?

Regardless Iruka had a class to teach, and so with great reluctance, he walked into the typhoon of noise that was his class.

He began his career by getting a look at all his students.

Again the only ones that stood out were the clan hiers+sakura, and the trio of orphans.

Hinata was sitting to the right of Kiba and Naruto while petting Akamaru, meanwhile the two mentioned boys seemed to be in a deep discussion. He couldn't catch the gist of it, but he did hear mention of "dog piss" and "proper preparation".

A shudder ran down his spine.

Aiko and sasuke were off to the side engaged in the most interesting game of who-can-glare-the-scariest.

Shikamaru was sleeping beside Luke. Who looked at the lazy Nara, before proceeding to say "man preaches the word of Arceus" and then promptly fell asleep right next the lazy Nara. Choji, who was sitting next to shikamaru, just looked at the two boys, shrugged, and then fell asleep with them.

Que the massive sweatdrop.

Shino was in the back having a discussion on the finer points of his clan's techniques with Athena, who interjected a suggestion on how to improve them every now and then.

Ino was in the front of the class trying to bring Sakura out of her shy demeanor, although judging by the blush on the pinket's face; it will take a lot of effort.

Deciding that he had observed enough he decided to get their attention so he could start the day.

"Attention class" he said in a stern voice.

Nothing happened. The class just kept on chatting away. He decided to shout.

"oy, class is in session!" he said, his voice louder than before.

Again nothing. A tick mark grew on his head. And then his head swelled to cartoonish proportions.

"SHUT UP AND LISTEN!"

That seemed to get their attention.

After the class quieted down he began to do the roll call. As he called each student he had every one state their goals. You could discern a lot about a person if you knew their ambition.

Now because we only really care about the konoha 9, or is it twelve in this case (?) only they will be listed.

Aburame Shino: to become a respected clan head.

Akamitchi Choji: to open the best restraunt in konoha.

Haruno Sakura: to become a medic ninja greater than Tsunade.

Hyuga hinata: to connect her family.

Inuzuka Kiba: to have a harem of really hot women!

Namikaze-uzamaki aiko: become hokage!

Nara shikamaru: get married with a normal, have two kids, one a boy and one girl, retire, before playing shogi and cloud watching for the rest of his life.

Pantheon Athena: to find the hidden land!

Uchiha sasuke: beat his itachi-nii-san.

Unova Luke: to be the very best that ever was.

Uzamaki Naruto (aiko was surprised at his last name): to explore the world.

Yamanaka Ino: to take over her father's flower shop.

Iruka smiled as he wrote all that down. They all had normal dreams. No desire to family members, homicidal urges, or anything like that. This class was going to be okay.

* * *

 **-Back with the hokage-**

Itachi sneezed as he told the hokage of how his mission went.

To this the hokage offered a tissue box. Which itachi politely declined.

"Itachi I know you just got back, but I have another assignment for you" minato spoke in an even voice.

"What is it I need to do sir?" was the calm, emotionless reply.

"I need you to watch over the kyubi container. He has just enrolled into the academy. He's in the same class as your little brother. Think of this as an ongoing C-rank."

At this itachi quirked an eyebrow. He had been ignoring the young jinchuriki for the better part of the boys first decade. So why was he taking an interest now of all times?

"It will be done." And with that the uchiha prodigy left the room.

He did not see the yondaime hokage look over to a picture of a pregnant kushina with only one thought going through his head.

 _Where we wrong? If so then we have made a terrible mistake. And if not…then kyubi will pay._

- **back to the cast** -

* * *

Regular class had just ended and the 8 year olds were rushing outside to do exercises. Namely running laps around the damn courtyard. Unknown to all but Athena (due to her emotion sensing abilities) there was a certain uchiha watching. He was observing four individuals.

Sasuke uchiha

Athena pantheon, who he was sure knew he was there (judging by how she looked at his hiding spot)

Luke Unova (otherwise known as konoha's master ice sculptor)

And his mission target, Uzamaki Naruto. One of konoha's known jinchuriki. Yes one of them.

He saw the similarities he had to the Namikaze family and connected the dots.

Remember this is itachi motherfucking uchiha.

He watched the group of ninja hopefuls run around the courtyard. With the two uzamaki siblings at the front of the group, butting heads as they raced each other.

He watched as the exercise ended and the class move onto lunch, each kid gravitating towards their friends.

He saw the Yamanaka heiress drag the Haruno girl over to the Nara and Akamitchi heirs.

He watched as the hyuga heiress joined the three favorites of the third hokage.

He watched as the Inuzuka and Aburame heirs talked with the Namikaze princess.

And finally, he watched his younger brother run away from a gaggle of girls that wanted to…be friendly with the uchiha heir.

" _Dear lord, I was older when it happened to me…good luck little brother._ "

For some reason Sasuke felt like punching his older brother.

He smiled at his brothers misfortune caused by the second curse of the uchiha before a certain scene caught his attention.

Looking down at the clearing he saw a group of civilian kids gather around the hyoton user. Squinting his eyes he saw why.

Luke and Naruto where putting on a show. It involved Naruto throwing water the gray haired lad as he froze the water mid-air. While the whole water freezing thing wasn't much of a shock to the uchiha prodigy, it was the matter of where Naruto was getting the water from. Or lack thereof.

He was pulling out of the air. Something that only the Nindaime could do with years of practiced chakra control.

And the village pariah was doing it like it was the simplest thing in the world.

Itachi smirked.

" _Maybe this assignment won't be as boring as I thought._ " He mentally chuckled.

* * *

In previous years, due to war, the academy courses where grueling, rushed, and brutal. But it did its job.

To turn children into killers.

The shinobi profession is not for everyone. It is a very mentally taxing job that often ends in death, or insanity. Very rarely does someone leave the profession as an old fart. But people such as Sarutobi Hiruzen do indeed exist. However the academy curriculum has changed under the Yondaime's reign.

It became more varied. More classes and lessons were being given. Aspiring shinobi now had to take classes on seduction, how to perform it and how to resist it. Doesn't matter what your gender is, it's mandatory.

Poisons. Academy students had to study poisons. How to make them, what antidote to use, and how to use them. It was a grueling class. Involving memorization of a crapton of herbs, and a bit of chemistry as well when the kids would get to making them.

Medical techniques, a personal request from Tsunade. Students were required to learn first aid, and proper care of injuries. How to get rid of infection. And how to care for patients.

Fuinjutsu. The art of sealing. One of the most difficult branches of the ninja arts, as well as one of the strongest. Since konoha had the most seal masters it made sense that it would start up an academy course on it.

And if course, a super stealth course. Curtesy of Danzo himself. He recommended that as assassins, the shinobi hopefuls should be taught how to run without making a sound, how to sneak without being caught, how to blend into the shadows, how to impersonate an enemy, and how to track without being seen.

But the most drastic change was the one of the final things an academy graduate had to do to graduate.

The first kill.

To fully graduate, a gennin hopeful had to take a life. And seeing as how there was no shortage of bandit attacks on small towns…well they always had more scum than prison cells. So why not empty a little space?

So why not do it in a controlled environment? It was for that reason the change actually got passed by the shinobi council.

Besides, by the time the final year started, only those who were serious about becoming a shinobi remained. So that's a plus.

It was cases like those that became mandatory that caused an increase in the graduating age, as well as upping the survival change of gennin in case of emergency, or a C-class mission gone wrong.

But like that ever happens right. Oh who am I kidding. Most gennin die on C-class missions gone wrong. It was for that reason that most of the classes were made even more brutal than wartime academy teachings.

And it was for this reason that Luke Unova was face desking. Repeatedly.

" _This shit was never in the manga! Why the hell did they not have this shit earlier!? Seriously, this stuff could save lives! Isn't it the village's priority to make as many powerful ninjas as possible? Gah, why do all the good changes happen when Minato's in charge? It makes all the more difficult to not like the guy._

Unknown to Luke, he had gathered the attention of everyone in the classroom due to his application of the use of his head for the process of inflicting as much bodily harm to the head as possible.

It wasn't until Athena got up and walked over to him.

"Get a hold of yourself man!"

And thus the a rather painful SLAP reverberated throughout the classroom. Knocking Luke out of his seat and onto the floor.

"Ah, thank you for that partner. You always know what is needed to keep me on track." He said sagely.

The one thought going around the classroom was _is that a normal thing?_

As if answer to that question Athena swiped imaginary dust off her hands as she walked back to her desk with all the dignity a prestigious clan heiress.

Trying to get things back on track before they were all treated to the amusing sight of Luke freaking out, Iruka coughed into his hand. Making every one of the eight year-olds turn their heads toward him.

"Now that that is over with ill continue with what I was saying." He said before picking up a clipboard.

"Every one of you will be taking an extra class each year. What that class will be is up to you and what kind of ninja you will become. However by the end of the year you will have been to all these extra classes."

He seeped the classroom to make sure that the kids were paying attention. They where.

"And if you're not serious about becoming an assassin for the village, to become a shinobi, to kill, sacrifice, and die for the village, then get out." He said in a commanding tone.

Seeing as how no one moved Iruka decided to lay it on thick.

"How many of you think that this is just a game? How many of you just want to be able to shoot out fireballs out of your mouths? To walk on water? To just be a glory hound? Well news flash, shinobi aren't flashy. We steal, we take lives, we save lived, and we leave people to die. The shinobi life ain't for the faint of heart, and if you don't want to die…then leave."

It was at this that most of the class left. The clan heirs stayed, as well as our trio of heroes, as well as a few civilian kids. It was when all the faint of heart left that Athena raised her hand.

"Yes Athena?" asked Iruka.

"Why is it that you gave that speech, as far as I'm aware that was the first time that kind of speech was given at the academy." Questioned the greenet.

"It's simple really, it was a countermeasure that was just put in, that was the test run" he answered.

Everyone left raised an eyebrow.

"A countermeasure for what?" questioned one Uchiha Sasuke.

"Fangirls" was the curt reply.

Next second the Uchiha was hugging the instructor while thanking him profusely. Much to the instructors annoyance and the classes enjoyment.

For the rest of the day the class would have a history lesson on the founding of konoha. To which the more combat oriented students ignored and the intelligent ones jotted down notes of.

* * *

- **some weeks later-**

"Why is it just now that the village is doing the anti-fangirl protocal?" questioned one irate Itachi Uchiha.

This of course only caused Minato Namikaze to raise an eyebrow at the amount of salt in that statement alone.

"Is there a problem with doing it now Uchiha?"

"…it's because if it was put into place sooner I wouldn't have graduated at the age of eight!"

This caused Minato's eyebrow other eyebrow to rise.

"So your saying that the reason you graduated early…was to escape your fangirls?"

"Yes! And because of you I can't see my little brother suffer like I and the rest of my clan did!"

Ignoring the normally stoic Uchiha's break of his cold exterior, the fourth hokage looked over jonin Iruka's report.

The bingo book, the basic bounty book as well as the book of ninjas you should avoid. A ninja's greatest tool is deception. People aren't supposed to know that capabilities of a ninja. Ninja are supposed to be assassins, death dealing warriors of unknown strength. That's why many competent shinobi don't want to be in the bingo book, so that their opponents don't know their skills and abilities.

That's why many shinobi villages don't advertise the skill levels of their shinobi. All jonin are jonin only because their skill level got out. And because they were given the rank they serve as a distraction for the other jonin level shinobi that aren't jonin. Deception is indeed a ninja's greatest tool.

Iruka was just one of the many jonin that don't have the position. Two more examples would be the 'eternal Chunnin' Izumo and Kotestu. That's why they were given the job of guarding the village gate. Because the enemies that tried to get in would be immediately identified by the two seemingly Chunnin level Nins.

And to better solidify the secrecy, only the third hokage knows the skill level of all secret jonin in the village. And should he die a seal will appear on the hokage desk that will only react to the kage's hat. This system was put in place by the Nindaime. And so far it has worked.

Of course every hidden village has a system like the one mentioned above. It is a world of ninjas. And there are certain phrases that have been coined by these protection systems. One example would be Sunagakure. It is widely believed that it is the weakest. But because of that many ninja underestimate the sand ninja. And the take advantage of that. And to the phrase 'a boasting sand Nin ain't a sand Nin" was born.

Minato shook his head. Iruka was one of the few secret jonin that he knew existed, and judgejing by the highly detailed report he had on the academy kids that where left behind after most of the class quit. He continued to read the phych reports on the kids, the goals each one had, current stamina, and the new classes that each kid signed up for. This would be the fourth class that would be subjected to the new curriculum. And if the results of the previous three classes is anything to go by, then this one would definantly do great things.

He had no bloody idea about the shit storm that was on its way.

As he was reading through he finally came upon the trio that had been on his mind for the past few days ever since he and his family saw them playing in the park with is daughter's friend Hinata.

Luke Unova, an orphan from a shinobi family and holder of the hyoton bloodline. Or what most people believed to be hyoton. Minato knew better. Hyoton is not nearly as versatile as what that kid could do. Whatever it was, it was different and deadly. A possible mutation of the hyoton bloodline? But his parents never had it. So why did he?

He was the leader of sorts to the trio, and he had a certain lack of respect to authority. Definantly a kid to look out for.

Athena Pantheon. Not human, Minato knew that. But she was a citizen of Konoha. And because of that he would protect her like any other citizen of his village. She was highly intelligent, more so than any child should be. And then theres her psychic abilities. Mind reading, projecting thoughts, and psychokinesis. It was a headache getting the Yamanaka clan off her back.

And then theres another thing about her that he just couldn't remember. All that he could dig up was a mask of sorts, but every time he tried to recall that memory he was filled with terror for some reason. So he dropped it. Maybe he should get the Yamanaka's to help him out with it? But wait, every time he brought it up with one of them they flat out refused to help him. And so he was back to square one.

The final member of the trio. His former son that was possessed by the fox. He still remembers how his still childlike form glowed red as the conscious of the demon was sealed into him.

And then his eyes turned red. And the pupil was replaced with a slit.

He and kushina knew that they lost their son that day.

And they couldn't just kill of the fox. Doing so would allow it merge with its chakra that was inside their daughter. They had no choice but to let the fox stay imprisoned in their son as he used it like a puppet.

The seal was used on their daughter was one that would slowly merge the chakra of the fox into their daughter, eventually making the fox lose any chance of gaining its chakra. And that same seal was applied to their son. Meaning that their son's still forming mind was merged with that of the fox.

Or so they thought. They had been questioning their decision ever since they saw little Hinata playing with them at the park.

* * *

- **Flashback time!** -

 _"_ _Do you even know what will hatch from this egg Luke?"_

 _"_ _Of course I know Athena! It's a bloody Manaphy! The prince/princess of the seas! Your pretty lucky Naruto, having this one be one of your six."_

 _"_ _It's because I'm awesome!"_

 _"_ _N-naruto I think t-that y-you shouldn't m-mess with the e-egg like t-that."_

 _At the mention of the name 'Naruto' kushina's head turned around to fast it almost broke the space-time continuum._

 _And then she saw the scene before her._

 _The freak three plus the hyuga heiress were sitting around a blue egg with a red core. It seemed to be shaking quite a lot, like it was about to hatch._

 _The gray haired child, Luke, was lying down with a toothpick in his mouth._

 _The green haired child she saw at the academy with the…Hannya mask was sitting down and drawing a picture of the scene before her._

 _The Hyuga heiress was staring at the egg with her dojutsu._

 _And finally the demon had this smile on his face as he tossed a ball toward a…floating key ring?_

 _Kushina had to smack herself to make sure she wasn't seeing things. Unfortunately that same smacking sound caught the attention of the four children._

 _It was the gray haired kid that spoke up._

 _"_ _Your…Miss Kushina right?" he said in a respectful tone._

 _"_ _Ah" she fumbled for a bit, put off by the fact that the kid called her by her name instead of 'Namikaze-sama' "yes that would be me."_

 _The kid nodded his head before asking his question "then you wouldn't you happen to know any in Konoha that has a large abundance of water? Like a river or a miniature lake?" he asked_

 _Kushina had to wonder about that. Why would a kid ask a question about that? Then of course she put two and two together._

 _"_ _It's for that egg isn't it?"_

 _He smiled sheepishly as he scratched the back of his head in a Minato like way._

 _"_ _Yeah the creature that hatches from this egg needs large bodies of water to survive. So I wanted to know."_

 _Kushina nodded her head. That was expectable. If you were going to take care of a baby then you would need to know what it essentially needed. And while she was curious about what kind of creature a Manaphy was and why she never heard of one until now, she didn't want to be in the presence of the fox any longer, so she proceeded to answer his question._

 _That is she was but she was interrupted by a certain redheaded daughter of kushina's._

 _"_ _Mom! There you are! The ice cream man is over there and I really want so-YOU!"_

 _The red-headed daughter of Kushina Uzamaki and Minato Namikaze wore a yellow long-sleeved kimono and bright blue sandals. And had her hair in a ponytail that came down to her torso._

 _Aiko Uzamaki-Namikaze popped out from behind the tree that Luke had been lying against. Whereupon she immediately went to her mother before she dramatically pointed at the floating key ring._

 _"_ _Yeah me… whachu want fool?"spoke the key ring._

 _"_ _You're the one that replaced all of my yellow clothes with orange! I hate orange! I declare a prank war on you!"_

 _Cue the sweatdrop on everyone one present except for Naruto and klefki._

 _"_ _Challenge accepted kid, I'm gonna show ya how we do it oldschoo-" cue interruption from Naruto "HOLD IT!"_

 _Everyone present turned to Naruto._

 _"_ _You say you hate orange? Screw you! Orange is awesome! I declare a prank war on you! And I propose an alliance with klefki over here!"_

 _"_ _Alliance accepted mofo."_

 _"_ _Then I Aiko Uzamaki-Namikaze, and my ally Kiba Inuzuka declare prank war upon the key ring alliance!"_

 _-back with the Inuzuka clan-_

 _Kiba shuddered before realizing what the shudder meant._

 _"_ _Kiba? You alright pup?" asked one Tsume Inuzuka, clan head of the Inuzuka clan._

 _"_ _It's nothing mom, it's just that…someone had declared war on the bitchin alliance." Spoke Kiba in a calm and steady voice that was uncharacteristic of him._

 _Everyone present raised an eyebrow before speaking in deadpan unison._

 _"_ _What."_

 _-Back at the park-_

 _Kushina had to suppress the urge to jump in and declare prank war on the demon fox as well but decided not to. For one, she was a clan head and couldn't indulge in such childish acts. And two, this was a prank war on her daughters honor. No one replaces all her daughters' clothes with those orange monstrosity's!_

 _Eventually she had to suppress the urge to giggle though, because her daughter and the demon fox had ended up in a happy-slaps fight of epic proportions. Eventually though her attention was brought back to the question that was thrown at her by the gray haired kid that was currently pulling on her dress._

 _"_ _Yeah, what is it kid?" she said with a smile._

 _"_ _Well back to my question, do you kn-"_

 _"_ _Hey Kushina-chan, what's up?"_

 _And then there was her husband who just popped out of nowhere. Or rather 'flashed' out of nowhere._

 _Of course before she could answer the question she was interrupted by a certain glowing egg. Everyone immediately stopped what they were doing and crowded around the egg that was in Naruto's arms._

 _And when the egg hatched the first thing it saw was Naruto's smiling face, to which it immediately hugged him with an adorable cry of "PAPA!" and down they went._

 _Minato hadn't yet realized that it was his former son that was getting hugged so he simply smiled at the scene._

 _"_ _Hokage-sama?"_

 _He turned to the gray-haired lad that looked vaguely familiar to him._

 _"_ _Yes what is it?"_

 _"_ _Do you happen to know any place that is highly abundant in water, like a river or a mini-lake?"_

 _The hokage put his on his chin as if in contemplation before answering._

 _"_ _Yes…training ground 24 is practically one giant lake both above ground and below. Why do you ask?"_

 _The boy simply pointed at the adorable blue animal that had hatched from the egg. Which was now hugging Hinata and calling her 'mama'._

 _"_ _The creature is known as a Manaphy. And while they can survive on land, they need a lot of exposure to water to survive."_

 _"_ _Manaphy?" he muttered under his breath before inspecting the blue creature further, and then noticing just who the creature was hugging. It was his former son._

 _Rage. That's all he felt whenever he saw the demon that was possessing his son. He turned away from the cute scene before him._

 _"_ _Kushina, Aiko lets go get some ice cream shall we?"_

 _While Aiko was nodding with enthusiasm Kushina was looking at the scene with an odd look._

 _"_ _Minato…" she said with a frown._

 _"_ _Come on Kushi-chan. Let's get Aiko some ice cream."_

 _"_ _Yeah…let's go." She said as she left the four plus a newborn._

 _They never noticed the strange look that the Athena gave them as she finished a drawing of the Namikaze family with Naruto off to the side looking sad._

 _Luke looked over and saw the drawing._

 _"_ _It's sad just how true that is" he said before turning to the rest of their group to tell them where to go for Manaphy to play in the water._

 _As they left they never saw the curious look that on Kakashi Hatake gave them._

 _"_ _That wasn't faked…" he said before disappearing in a swirl of leaves._

* * *

 _- **Flashback end** -_

Minato sighed. Ever since that day in the park he and kushina have had the same thoughts. _Were we wrong_? Kushina was having those thoughts more than him. She always wanted to have a son and if they were wrong that would mean that they would have committed one of the worst things a parent could do.

Parental neglect. It was gnawing on Kushina's conscious. And the questions Aiko was asking about the reason that she wasn't told why there was another Uzamaki in the village.

Naruto. That was the reason that they had Itachi watch over him. To see if they were wrong. And if they were, they would do everything in their power to make up for that mistake.

Minato was not stupid. If what he feared turned out to be true, then Kushina would beg for him to live with them in their house. And try to include him in everything to try and make up for their neglect.

But he knew that it would have to be a slow process. They couldn't just up and tell him the truth. They would have to make him comfortable with them. And for that to start off he would need to be friends with his daughter so that she could invite him over for dinner…

He shoved those thoughts to the back of his mind so that he could address the Uchiha in front of him.

"Your dismissed Itachi. Continue your observations until such a time when told."

"Yes sir" and with that the Uchiha prodigy left in a swirl of leaves.

The yellow flash then turned to the stack of papers in front of him.

"And now it begins…" he then grabbed a pen, clicked it, then grabbed the first paper before shouting out two words that would signal the beginning of his long and drawn out battle with his eternal foe,

"MORTAL KOMBAT"

And the ensuing battle would go down in the history books as the greatest fight between man and paper.

* * *

extra

"Luke Unova, what is your goal in life?"

said boy proceeded to stand up before clearing his throat.

and he suddenly had a microphone in his hand. And...is that a guitar in the background?

Naruto then facepalmed. "This is going to suck..." he muttered.

"I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST, LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS!"

Iruka had to question his life choice of taking this class in particular. As well as everybody else.

"TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST! TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUUUUUSE!"

Naruto was now slamming his head against the desk multiple times.

"I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND, SEARCHING FAR AND WIDE!"

Iruka was now finalizing a note for Luke to take to the psych ward.

"THE POKEMON TO UNDERSTAND, THE POWER THAT'S INSIIIIIIIIIDE-"

His singing was stopped by Athena, who knocked him unconscious with a confusion.

"I think we can all agree that his goal is to be the very best that ever was correct?"

Iruka nodded.

"yes, good call there too"

"eh, its just something I usually do." she shrugged.

cue mass facepalm.


	3. the stuff happens chapter

**I was sick for a bloody long time peoples. it got to the point where I said "fuck it" and just started typing while crapping my life out for about 8 hours. am I progressing to fast? because the next chapter is going to be a timeskip to the graduation. sorry this took so bloody damn long to get out. on a sidenote, donate to the nintendothon of the Hellfirecomms twitch page! its for charity to help those with mental diseases. that or watch the stream. its pretty good stuff either way. listened to the madworld ost while typing this.**

 **I don't own shit. besides this story and my OC's.**

 **chapter 3: insert tree pun.**

Words could not describe the state of mind of our three heroes. As they lye in a triangle formation, back to back, a dead look in their eyes. They sat in the living room of their apartment building dead to the world.

What could have caused this? What could have sent our heroes into such a state? What kind of fiend could do this to our trio of optimistic, adorable, and badass heroes?

Well if one would look outside they would see…snow. Hell there's freakin frosty out there giving little hinata a hug! No, the source of the near comatose state that our heroes are in lie in the calendar that is stuck to the left kitchen wall. Specifically the date that is yet to be crossed out…December the 30th…today was the twenty eighth…and there was no Christmas tree.

It should be noted that there was a small pile of presents over to the side on the couch. It's just that all three of them had never had the chance to experience an actual Christmas mass-opening-presents-thing-with-the-family. Probably because all three were orphans and all but…they had wanted to invite the third hokage over due to how he was pretty much their adoptive grandfather. Only problem it…they wanted it to be special. And what kind of Christmas is it without a Christmas tree?

"Everything's closed…what are we going to do?" whined the leader of the trio.

"It's no use…where would we even get a Christmas tree out here in konoha…?" came the green haired voice.

It was then that the gears in Naruto's brain started to work.

' _Wait…konoha…Christmas trees…that's it!'_

It was then that the energetic blond jumped up into the air while shouting out "guys! I have an idea!"

This, naturally, grabbed the attention of the other two members of the trio as the raised a questioning eyebrow towards the Uzamaki.

"And what would that be/and pray tell what is it?" was the reply.

The blond then pointed to the map of konoha that was over by the door to the bedroom. More specifically he was pointing to the words 'village of the leaves' that was in fine bold print ( size 18, times new roman) at the top of the map.

Luke then facepalmed at the obvious fact that they were trying to shop for a Christmas tree in the village hidden in the leaves.

Athena was a bit blunter in her realization of her own stupidity. She started face-desking. Yes that's right. She psychokinetically grabbed a desk from across the room, brought it over to her, and started slamming her own face into it. That is the art of face-desking. Minus the whole 'psychokinetically dragging a desk over to your location'.

While this was going on Luke was discussing with Naruto where they would find a Christmas tree.

"There must be a closed off place that they grow these things at…"

"Yeah but what are we going to do? Sneak in, cut down a tree, and then sneak out with it?"

"Yes…that's the plan. But first we need to find it…think that some business has got a monopoly on these things?"

"The hells a monopoly?"

"It's a…business term. Look it up in a book."

"I don't have time to read! That's time I could spend practicing my water manipulation to become stronger!"

"You know a complicated word like 'manipulation' but you don't know monopoly? What's the deal with you Naruto?"

"Oh sure, says mister 'get punched in the face'. Do you know how many times we get dragged to the Hokage's office just because you have to punch a jerk in the face…with ice?"

"Hey, the candy man deserved it. I mean, how can you have paydays, but not a snickers?"

"Is there any reason you're obsessed with snickers?"

"I'm not myself if I don't have a snickers!"

"How does that even work? They're just candy!"

"You see, its much like you and that blasphemous cuisine you call 'Ramen', once you eat the select food of your chosen god, you automatically restore any, and all missing energy in your body."

"You know, that makes a lot of sense and-WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO CALL RAMEN BLASPHEMOUS!?"

"I became the one when you stole most of my allowance to go and buy twenty cups of chicken Ramen!"

"You wanna get beat down!?"

"Speaking of beat down…"

He turned toward the form of Athena

"…when did she stop?"

"A little while ago actually…she's on the floor unconscious."

"…think we should help her?"

"…"

And then the two synchronized.

"Nah."

It would be three hours later, after Naruto and Luke had left that Athena would wake up with the worst headache she had had ever. As well as the urge to deck her two roommates in the snoz.

Minato was having a normal day, there was practically nothing to do, no paperwork, no kyubi attacks, no invasions from the leafs runaway pedophile, and no-

"Minato-sensei you have got to control Naruto."

-Interrupting Kakashi.

Sighing as he put down his coffee mug, Minato Namikaze turned to his former student. And raised an eyebrow at his state of dress.

Kakashi Hatake, the last living student of Minato's gennin squad, and currently one of his top ANBU. Known for being 'Kakashi of the sharingan, the copy-cat ninja who has copied a thousand ninjutsu' as well as being the son of the white fang of konoha, Sakumo Hatake.

And he looked like he got run over by a stampede of fangirls. Uchiha fangirls specifically

"Kakashi, what the hell happened to you?"

The silver-haired ANBU simply said one name "Naruto"

Minato felt a headache coming on. He rubbed his temples as he told Kakashi to elaborate.

"Well to start of I was walking out of the bookstore with the newest volume of icha icha…"

"Uh-huh"

"And then the kid walked up to me…"

"Yes…"

"Asked me where all the Christmas trees are planted…"

"Go on…"

"I asked him why and he said he needed to steal one…"

"Hmmm…"

"When I told him no he…did this to me."

Now that was didn't answer Minato's question. All that he got was the fact that somehow his…son…had done this to Kakashi. "What exactly did he do?"

"Well he…slapped the ass of a women that was passing by."

Minato's jaw dropped. Did jiraiya get his hands on the boy when he wasn't looking or something?

"That doesn't explain how slapping some random women's ass did this to you Kakashi…"

"I was getting to that, you see the moment she turned around he pointed at me…and she immediately noticed the book that was in my hands and well…you can guess what happened next." He seemed to tear up at the end too. If he sobs were any indication of his emotional state.

"…she teared up your book after she finished beating the shit out of you didn't she?"

And then he started openly bawling. Minato just sighed as he got out of his chair and began to hug and comfort his surrogate little brother.

' _Honestly…why do all of my best ninjas have to be so damn weird? But wait, if Naruto is looking for a Christmas tree then maybe I could invite him and his friends over to my house for Christmas…that would help the effort of bringing him back into the family…_ '

Being content with that idea he decided that he would find Naruto sometime later and invite the trio over to his house for Christmas tomorrow. After all, Christmas is thing to celebrate with friends and family right?

 **MEANWHILE: WITH LUKE**

Luke was sitting on a bench with an old man out in the park that the trio had befriended Hinata at. And the matter of discussion was that of the old man's past exploits in thievery.

"So what your saying is that there is a hole in the fence up in the northern part of the area where they keep all of the Christmas trees that it just perfect for sneaking a tree out through?"

"Yep, that's right sonny, and with the current management of the company, they're too damn lazy to patch-er-up."

"That has to a pretty big hole."

"Twice m'size and bigger 'round!"

"And it's been there for how long?"

"Twenty 'ears!"

"…and how do you know this?"

The old man gained a smile "Now you listen here boy, you didn't here nothin' from me, youz da one who wanted to find out how to steal one of dem trees for yaz family. And I be willin' ter help ya out…"

Luke's eyebrow rose "Now why would you, a fellow thief, be willing to help out me, while possibly running the chance of getting caught yourself?"

The old man gained a faraway look. "I remember me first heist. It be the same damn thing you be planning to do. Plus it help that ya punched ma debt collectors golden tooth out a few days ago!"

"Ah, I remember that guy. He was an ass."

A snort came from the old man. "That he do be is." He then turned his attention back to Luke. "Now listen here, I canz pull some-o-there strings to give you da list of the da patrol routes. Nothin' more, nothin' less. You just steal the best damn tree yaz see. Deal?"

The old man held out his hand. Luke pondered it a bit. It was a win-win deal. He may be a ninja in training, and distrusting others was a big part of being a ninja, but there is honor among thieves. So why the hell not agree to the deal?

He shook the hand.

"Good, now meet me back 'ere at around seven, okay?"

A nod later and the two split. One to call in a favor, the other to let his two partners in on the game.

And when Minato went to the trio's apartment room at seven thirty he would wonder just where the hell the three of them went. And then he would remember that he had put a hirashin seal on his sons back after the three of them were brought to his office because of Luke punching a tax collector in the face.

With a sigh he then activated the hirashin seal, and was gone in a flash.

"Papa, what are we doing out here?" came the voice of a baby Manaphy, 6 months old. And that was the first thing Minato heard as he hid himself in the trees…Christmas trees that is.

"We're here because we're doing a heist." Came the voice of his abandoned son.

 _'_ _The hell has he gotten himself into this time?'_

"Uncle Luke, what's a heist?"

"A heist is an organizing thieving on a location like a bank or a corporation. You brought the chainsaw Athena?" asked the leader of the trio, and the one who brought them all to the closed off zone that they were in.

"You said a lot of big words I don't know uncle"

"The one with silencing seals on it? That we got from the old man last year? Yep, it's right here!"

And she whipped out a chainsaw, and let'er rip…only for the blades on it to move and make no sound. Silence seal chainsaws, who said you can only apply seals to ninja stuff?

' _Dear god, my son is taking part in organized crime! Kushina's gonna kill me! Or worse…she will send me to the couch!_ '

Athena had to suppress a chuckle from the surface thoughts she picked up, but being bonded to a member of the ralts family, Luke could see the muffled action. "What's got you chucklin' about 'thena?"

There was a slight twitch as she continued sawing through the tree of their choosing. And then the mask came out, as she spoke in a chilling tone that promised pain " _don't you ever dare call me 'thena' you foolish mortal und_ -stood?"

The nods of everyone present showed just how much they shit themselves, except for baby Manaphy, she just thought that her aunt was the coolest and wanted to learn how to summon the 'super-cool mask of coolness'. And yes, even Minato shivered at the voice, it was the same voice his wife used on him a total of four times…and he still has nightmares of _first_ time.

And then the tree fell down, with Luke putting a hand over Naruto's mouth so that no nearby patrols could hear him shout out-"TIMBER!"

All eyes present turned to the resident baby Manaphy. Who had a confused look on her face due to her ignorance to the concept of stealth. Pretty soon alarms began to blare as searchlights began to…search for them.

Luke was the first to break out of stupor. "Shit! Naruto, make a few clones to carry the tree, we need to bail!"

"got it!" and five puffs of smoke later, the group began running towards the giant ass hole in the gate, with Athena grabbing the baby Manaphy as Luke led the way, and finally the five Naruto's carrying the tree behind Athena as the original started to make clones to go in different direction henged into different people to make some noise.

As the group was running through the trees and the snow, a patrolling guard who was running around looking for the intruders came upon them…and was hit by a 'drive-by' electric punch that knocked him the fuck out.

"Was that really necessary Luke? An electric punch?"

"Athena, I have a reputation of punching people with ice, he didn't see my face, but only one person knocks people out via fist to the face…with ice."

"Good point. Moving on."

"Papa, why is there a person sleeping in the snow?"

"He likes the place so much that he decided to make a bed out of snow."

"That's pretty silly." The baby then faced the unconscious man "you're a silly person"

"That's adorable and all, but can we get moving boss?"

And thus the group of thieves (plus an adorable blue baby) had a successful first heist. And no one would know about it, except for the yondaime hokage and a kleptomaniac old man who has lived past his glory days.

 **THE NEXT DAY**

Minato sighed as he read the damage report from yesterday. Honestly, if he just sent those three to any one of the hidden villages he could probably conquer said village in a matter of weeks.

But seriously? Floating water balls? A flooded Christmas tree forest? Multiple animals with party hats? A, yet again, defaced hokage monument? Anbu headquarters being, yet again, snuck into and the entire inside of the underground complex painted orange? And now he was getting reports about sightings of a fat old man using a compression ninjutsu on himself to go down peoples chimneys, and if he can't do that he just goes through the window, and leaves people presents in the middle of the night.

Minato did a double take.

What. The. Fuck.

Santa clause?

He's real?

Had…had his daughter been naughty or nice?

' _Well with her pranking streak…although it's not as bad as Naruto or that floating sentient key ring…_ '

Sighing at the implications of Santa clause actually existing, Minato looked at the clock to see that is was around 5:30. It would be at this time that Naruto and his friends would return to their apartment, the perfect opportune to pop the question of whether or not they would like to spend Christmas time with his family. They were pretty close after all, what with Aiko dragging them to their house for dinner every opportunity she could get.

He had to suppress a shiver from the amount of chaos those dinners brought. Never again would he hold a spoon the same way ever again…

And with a flash, the yondaime hokage hirashined over to the trio's apartment door.

Luke could only stare at what was once their stolen tree.

How the hell did this happen?

They never had the objects…

So how…?

How had, or rather, who had decorated their stolen Christmas tree?

"IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!" came the voice of a light purple-ish creature with mickey-like ears, and a loud as all hell voice from his left.

"Dammit Loundred, do you have to yell so damn loud?"

"YES, IT IS VERY YOUTHFUL TO SHOUT MY JOY FOR ALL THE WORLD TO SEE!"

There it was…the dreaded words about 'youth'. Back when Loundred was still a Whismur he had been very impressionable. So of course the most impressionable thing that would happen to him would be coming into contact with the 'youthful' fashion disasters themselves, the green beasts of konoha.

The bowl cut hair, the horrendous green spandex, the shouts of 'youth', and the eyebrows that were, according to Athena, actually alive. Luke feared that such an experience had actually scared the Whismur for life, but as it turns out, he only caught the youth disease, not the eyebrow or spandex disease.

With a sigh Luke went and told Loundred to go out to the playroom for the other Pokémon that the three teared down the wall to another room to make.

Seeing as how they didn't really have a room specifically for the growing Pokémon that liked to be in their summoners realm more than the summon realm, the three of our heroes decided to tear down a wall and convert an entire apartment room to a Pokémon playroom. Funnily enough, the apartment owner couldn't give two shits considering that he was getting no business due to the 'demon brat' living in his apartment.

He tried to swindle them into paying for two apartment room, but you know how dicks and Luke interact.

He punched the dick in the head.

It was just after Loundred went through the hole in the wall that led to the playroom that a knocker knocked on the door.

' _The old man was supposed to come by in a few hours, so who is it?'_

Of all people to be at his door at this time he was expecting Hinata, Iruka, or maybe even Danzo with an offer to join his root.

He most certainly wasn't expecting the fourth hokage of all people to be at his front door.

And it seemed that Minato didn't know how to react either, basing that speculation on his awkward fidgets and shuffling feet.

Luke sighed. "Well…don't just stand there, come on in…mister Namikaze."

Naruto was not a morning, much like his biological mother, he absolutely hated sunlight in the morning. And who could blame him? The infernal beams of light carved through the general ninja door known as windows and hit us in the eyes while they are closed, and yet they still somehow manage to penetrate the final defense that is known as the eyelids! Sometimes the boy wishes that he could live feeling nothing but the night.

But it was not his mortal foe that had awoken him. It was a water balloon that Luke threw at him.

Growling, Naruto jumped out of the bed and began to swing his arm from behind his head, pulling water out of the air to be thrown at Luke.

When the water ball came his way, Luke raised his hand, palm and fingers outstretched, and froze the water. Creating an iceball that fell down the ground with an audible *pink* and cracked upon impact.

"What is it?" Naruto growled out. His face still in a scowl.

"We have a guest. Get out of your jammies and look decent." The gray lad said curtly.

Wiping his eyes, Naruto looked more closely at the blurry form of Luke. He was wearing a long-sleeved light blue and dark blue striped sweater, dark blue jeans with fur lined in, and fluffy house shoes. He was currently standing up straight with his hands in his pockets.

"…you just woke up yourself didn't you?"

A scowl wove its way onto the ice user's face.

"I caught something from yesterday…I don't think that guy was healthy. Considering what I got in me, I should be immune to disease."

Naruto moved over to his clothes draw on the left wall, and pulled out a pair of black linen pants. "Well that sucks for you; luckily we Uzamaki's are pretty resistant to sickness."

Luke maintained his blank look as he turned around and walked out the door. _Still using those clones of yours eh Naruto? Wonder if he sent a water clone or a shadow clone to the academy?_

When Naruto put on the black linen pants that came down to his 9 year old ankles, he then put on a red sweater before getting the knots out of his hair with a hairbrush (don't do it with a comb, it's not worth it), slipped on fox themed house slippers, and walked out to the living room of the apartment.

Whereupon he saw a surprise. There was the yondaime with a mug of coffee sitting on the couch that the three of them stole two days after they moved into the apartment. Luke was over in the kitchen grabbing a Dr. pepper from the fridge (pepsi and coke suck!) and Athena was sitting at the table reading pride and prejudice to baby Manaphy.

Athena was dressed in a simple light green Kimono with a white ribbon being used to hold it together. She had on bunny slippers.

Naruto raised an eyebrow as he watched Minato was looking at the interactions between Naruto's Dieno and Luke's fletchling. _Hasn't he spied on us with a crystal like the old man does every now and then?_

Naruto decided that he didn't like the curios looks that Minato was giving his Dieno and decided to get to the point of the yondaime's surprise visit.

"Hokage-sama"

The yondaime's attention was shifted over to Naruto who was, to Minato, was looking very pissed. But it kinda reminded Minato of the overprotective big brother glare of death. Sheepishly rubbing the back of his head and smiling, Minato put his half-empty coffee mug on the leaf pad to the bottom left of the coffee table.

"Naruto, good to see you…I wasn't aware that you took afternoon naps."

A yawn escaped Naruto's lips "actually I slept through the day. Sent a water clone over to the academy in my place."

Minato raised an eyebrow as Naruto went to retrieve a cup of instant Ramen from the pantry, by this point Luke had sat down at the table and fletchling had gone to his arm so that Luke could feed the baby firebird from his hand. Athena had closed the book that she was reading to the baby Manaphy, who was now sitting in her lap, and was now scratching the baby's head.

"You do realize that you don't earn what your clones learn right? They're separate from you." Minato stated calmly as he stretched his arms.

Athena spoke in his defense as he poured water into the insta-cup. "What he academy teachers don't know won't hurt them sir."

"Besides" Luke spoke as the firebird left his shoulder to go outside via the open balcony door "you already know about our plans to be put on the same squad."

Minato had to agree that they had a point there, despite being nine-year old academy students; they had planned ahead, did research on the team formations, and made the initiative. That and he thought it was a good idea for those three to work together considering the synergy that they already had. There was also the fact that Kakashi had spied on their elemental training, and according to him, their abilities combined together beautifully.

"That still doesn't excuse not going to the academy Naruto." He reprimanded, although only half-heartedly.

"I was really tired and I didn't feel like going. What's one day on my spotless record?" he spoke in between mouthfuls of ramen.

Luke turned around to look at the younger of the two blonds in the room with a confused expression "How'd you heat up the Ramen so fast? Normally it takes three minutes."

In response the questioned boy simply created a ball of water the size of a baseball and floated it above the palm of his outstretched hand. Making sure that he had all eyes on him he then returned his attention to the ball of water. Seconds later the ball began to shrink as steam arose from the edge of the sphere before the entire ball was no more.

Seeing the confused expressions of everyone in the room, sans Athena, he began to elaborate. "I simply began to vibrate the molecules of the liquid to cause an increase in energy, which in turn, created heat in the water."

Upon noticing the shocked faces of Luke and Minato, Manaphy just looked even more confused, he simply shrugged. "It's nothing really hard. Athena threw the theory out and I put it to the test. It worked, and now I don't have to deal with the three minutes it takes to heat up Ramen."

Picking up his jaw from the floor Minato sank into the couch for a bit, took a sip of his coffee, and continued with chewing Naruto out for not going to the academy. "Well is there any other reason you didn't go to the academy today? I can't exactly accept a lazy excuse for not showing up. Luke's excused because he's sick."

"Well…" Naruto put his finger on his chin "I wanted to decorate the tree we got yesterday before Christmas tomorrow." He then pointed at the stolen decorated tree in the corner with his thumb.

"But someone beat us to the punch." Spoke Athena as she cooed at baby Manaphy.

"Manaphy over there keeps on saying it was Santa Clause, but we think it might have been someone else." Spoke Luke as he scratched a Vulpix's back, being mindful to avoid pulling on one of its tails.

"But its tur! I saw him! He had a white beard and he was wearing all red!"

"True, not tur child. Speak properly child." Athena chided.

"Yes Auntie Athena." The child pouted.

Minato had to smile at the scene. It really is like Naruto, Luke, and Athena are a family. _They really have carved a life for themselves in this village despite the hate and prejudice against them. Hate and prejudice that's my fault. I won't ask you to come to our home, what should have been your home. But that doesn't mean I won't invite family over to spend the holidays._

"yondaime-sama" Minato turned towards Luke, who was now scratching the belly of the Vulpix. "what was the purpose of your visit? I doubt that it was just to bring up Naruto's technical absence from the academy today."

 _Curse you for bringing things back on track._ With a sigh minato straightened himself. Now that he had the attention of everyone present, he began. "Well to start, you three have been having dinner with my family a number of times these past months and well, kushina has kinda taken a liking to you three."

Naruto finished off his ramen, Athena began to pay more attention to the conversation and Luke fixed Minato with a bored look.

"When I was you three's age I was living on my own, an orphan like you three. I didn't really have anyone to spend the holidays with, so I can kinda emphasize with you three to an extent."

"And well, how do I put it?" he began to scratch the back of his head, a reflex that happens when he became nervous "Well, me and my wife wanted to invite you over to spend Christmas with our family."

Silence reigned.

And then the three of them got in a huddle.

Minato sweatdropped.

"Think we should take it?" whispered Athena.

"Considering the trouble we went through to get that tree? I don't think so."

"Naruto, think of how Kushina will react, you remember how bad her temper was the last time you swapped out her underwear for bondage outfits."

All three shivered unconsciously.

"Yeah but that was a prank! This is completely different!"

"Naruto, this is an invitation to celebrate the holiday with the Hokage's family, this isn't something you reject."

"Athena's right Naruto, this isn't something we can ignore."

"Fine, but we switch their tree with ours tonight."

"Won't be too hard, it's not like we've had Athena teleport us in there before."

"Right, badaboop?"

"Schadoop."

"Let's go." And with the greenets final checkphrase, the three broke the huddle.

They then stood side-by-side facing towards the seated yondaime. "we accept your invitation." Spoke Athena as she bowed.

This of course made Minato happy, but before he could say anything he was interrupted.

"On one condition" said Naruto and Luke in tandem.

"And what condition is it?" Minato said, curious about what they wanted.

All three smiled before baby Manaphy jumped out of her seat and yelled out "YOU HAVE TO CELEBRATE WITH ALL OF US!"

And with that, all the Pokémon came out of the big-ass hole in the wall before they all gathered at the feet of their respective summoner.

The fletchling landed on Luke's left shoulder, and the froakie jumped onto his right shoulder, and the Loundred went and stood in front of him.

For Naruto, the baby Manaphy jumped into his arms, while his Vulpix and Dieno went to stand at his left and right respectively.

And for Athena, a Scyther walked calmly out of the hole and stood behind her, a little to the left as a buneary and a meditite went to her sides.

Minato was shocked; he had never seen animals like these before, much less summons. Did each of these three possess multiple contracts? _Never mind, I'll ask later. It's obvious that these animals are a form of summons. I'll have to talk to jiraiya about this later._

"And these are…? They look like summons."

It was Luke who spoke up. "They are our partners, our comrades. When we feel pain they feel it too. When you attack one of us, you attack all of us. They are our life partners and family. We do not reject or abandon our family, because family always protects their own. Society and status be damned."

To Minato he saw the obvious message. " _I know, I won't forgive you, and I won't forget it anytime soon."_ And Minato had to give it to the kid, that glare of his sent chills down his spine.

"I can accept that condition. At least with all the extra company my youngest daughter will have a lot of people to play with."

All twelve of them nodded at once. It kinda unnerved Minato as he turned to leave. "We normally wake up around 9-ish for Christmas. Kushina will expect all of you to be there on time unlike one of my Anbu. See ya'll then." And with that final statement, he closed the door before hirashinning away.

And then Luke sneezed. "I'm going to sleep this sickness shit off. You guys can do whatever." He said with a yawn as he walked over to his hammock bed that was located just above Naruto's bed.

Just before he went to bed he looked at his reflection in the mirror, only to see the visage of Kyreum gazing back.

"Still not going to help me with learning the full use of these powers?"

" **It is still too soon. Your body is not yet ready**." The ice dragon spoke in a tone of finality.

And with that the gray haired lad turned away from the Mirror to gaze at a hand drawn picture of the hall of origin made by Athena. With a sigh the ice user went to sleep after getting comfy with his positioning. Vowing to protect his newfound family.

 **like it? hate it? don't give a shit, imam keep on typin.**


	4. TEAM DEATHMATCH

**YEAH THAT'S RIGHT. NOT EVEN A WEEK MOFO'S. this had my first 'fight' scene. I call it a skirmish. not a battle. battles are epic fights that are long and awesome. so far I only have one battle planned and that's at the chunnin exams. its not against gara. far from it. it will be an epic fight between Luke and a black knight. so look forward to that. its probably going to take a few months for me to get to that though. so hold onto your buts.**

 **I don't own anything besides this story and my OC's. now if I did own this shit Naruto would not be a fuckin idiot. and their would be a lot more female badassery in the show/manga.**

Team 7!

Slam the alarm, throw off the covers, throw Naruto out of the shower, take a shower, take 5 minutes for a piss, get out of bathroom, accidently flash your junk to Athena, grab the boxers, put on the silver pants made of silk with metal lined in, put on belt that when it connected in the front both ends went diagonally downward in perpendicularly to make an X, put on the shirt with the silver X on the center, put on black jacket, put on black and silver gauntlets, put on boots, tie the headband around your arm strap on shuriken and kunai holsters, and finally brush hair so its blocking the right eye, then tie the hair in a ponytail that came down in a ponytail down to your backside. (kinda like future!rouge.)

For Athena it was different, fail to wake Luke up before he could smash his alarm clock, shower, put on light green T-shirt with the pokeball symbol on the center, put on white trench coat with the mega stone symbol on the back, style the short green hair so its covering the eye opposite of Luke, put on white shorts, strap the katana to your left hip, but on the gallade-blade extender gauntlets, tie the konoha headband around the waist, get accidently flashed by Luke, put on the ninja sandals, make breakfast for the two boys and herself and all the other 15 Pokémon. At least she had Manaphy and lopunny to help her out with that.

And for Naruto: get woken up by Athena, take a poop, then a shower, get thrown out of said shower halfway through it, dry off with Luke's covers just to spite him, put in the fox-themed boxers he loved oh-so-much, put a on a blue shirt with the uzamaki spiral on the center, put on his favorite black and orange jumpsuit with a nine-tailed fox on the back that had two of the tails go ever the shoulders and down to where the zippers began, put on a pair of blue pants, black ninja sandals, tied on his kunai and shuriken holsters, and pocketed his trench knives, and finally tied his headband to his head before he went to grab his breakfast.

After Luke came down and downed his bacon and pancakes he turned to the gathered human and Pokémon at the table, and they in turn looked at him. At once they all nodded and 12 puffs of smoke later, all that were left were the three masters, a Vulpix which jumped into the opening in Naruto's jumpsuit (much like Akamaru and Kiba), the Fletchinder went to rest on Luke's shoulder, and the Spiritomb went into the seal inscribed onto Athena.

And without a word, the three fourteen year olds and their familiars all left the apartment building.

Never even once noticing the silver haired jonin that had watched from outside the window.

Not even once.

* * *

Iruka had to hold in a chuckle at the scene before him. For one Hinata hyuga was trying very hard not to be seen reading a certain little orange book, Akamaru was having a stare-off with Naruto's Vulpix that honestly looked like it couldn't give to shits about the ninja dog, Ino Yamanaka was nagging the Uzamaki-Namikaze about her kill-me yellow jumpsuit, _at least her brother has a fashion sense, seriously that black and orange fox jumpsuit is cool_ , Sakura Haruno was trying to get the Uchiha to at least say something besides 'Hn', Shino was just kinda in his own little corner, and finally: Athena Pantheon, Luke Unova, Naruto Uzamaki, Shikamaru Nara, Choji Akamitchi, and Kiba Inuzuka were all asleep side by side in a two by six formation.

And that was the whole class. The rest had dropped out and quit the ninja program.

Twelve students in all. Quality over quantity was the yondaime's moto. And Iruka had high hopes or this class. This class knew what they were getting into. And damned if Iruka wasn't proud of them for going not just all the way, but going the distance. The only one that he worried for was the uchiha and that was because most of his clan was wiped out. Only his mother, eight other adults, and the children of the clan were left.

Tragic.

Not that Iruka cared.

Them traitors had it coming.

Iruka gave itachi uchiha a five-fingered salute.

"Attention class!" he shouted. And now he had the attention of all twelve ninja hopefuls present. Even the six that were asleep were now paying attention. Or at least trying to.

"It's been my honor to teach you. But now you're going to be thrust out into the world, against other shinobi that will try to kill you in horrible and terrifying ways that would make even battle hardened veterans flinch." No one batted an eye at that. They had accepted their fate a long time ago. "You each will be put in a squad of three and assigned a jonin sensei."

Again, no one so much as changed their expression. They had expected this. Good.

"Because teams one through six as well as nine are still in circulation we will begin with team 7. Which will be Luke Unova, Athena Pantheon, and Naruto Uzamaki. The rookie of the year, kunoichi of the year and the dobe. It's a tradition, but then again you three planed that right?"

Again no change. Honestly either everyone already knew that or he was stuck in an illusion. Eh, he's still doing his job. "Well your sensei is Hatake Kakashi so go ahead and whip out cards against humanity if you want." He then looked back at the list.

"Team eight will be Hinata hyuga, Shino Aburame, and Kiba Inuzuka, a reconnaissance and hunter nin unit."

The three members of team eight each looked at each other, as if assessing their teammates for any weaknesses and flaws before turning back to the instructor.

"Your sensei will be Yuhi Kurenei. A genjutsu specialist, so be sure to double check your surroundings."

The three fourteen year olds nodded their heads in response. Good, he would heed his advice.

"Team ten, Nara Shikamaru, Choji Akamitchi, and Ino Yamanaka, the ino-shika-cho trio, as well as an interrogation, capture, and assassination unit. You're in good hands with your sensei, Asuma Sarutobi."

And finally, he got to the last squad, and the one that would have two of the most politically important people in the classroom.

"Team eleven: Sakura Haruno, Aiko Uzamaki-Namikaze, and Sasuke Uchiha. You will be an assault and destruction squad. Have fun blowing shit up."

The reactions were different among the members of team eleven. For one Sakura looked nervous to be teamed with two of the most politically important gennin, Aiko looked sad that she wasn't part of her precious 'onii-chan's' team. And Sasuke just looked satisfied that he had at least one teammate that was powerful.

To clarify, Naruto does not consider himself part of the Uzamaki-Namikaze family. Naruto may forgive, but he does not forget. He was abandoned by that family, so he considers them strangers trying to adopt him. Strangers that invite him and his roommates over to dinner. A lot.

"Oh and your jonin sensei will be the yondaime's wife. So have fun with a women more eccentric than Anko Mitarashi."

And with that Iruka left in a puff of smoke. A shadow clone.

And then the sensei's came to pick up the teams. The first was Uzamaki Kushina, being the hyperactive mother she arrived first. The only noteworthy thing that happened was that as she left her desk, Aiko bumped into Naruto's hand, it was after she touched his hand she felt a burning sensation located around her stomach for a split second.

Figuring it as something she ate she never told her mother about it. All the while Kurama laughed from inside the seal as he was finally reunited with his chakra and began to reverse the assimilation process of his chakra into the Namikaze-Uzamaki's system. Finally reclaiming what was rightfully his.

All the while Naruto smirked as he got his end of the bargain, the two tails worth of Kyubi chakra that Kurama had gathered over the years. And now that Kurama was inside his former sister she would have to gain Kurama's approval to use his chakra. No one should be given power for free. You have to work for that shit. One of the many reasons he outright hated the sharingan. Copy-cat pink-eye bastards!

As she was leaving with her squad Kushina gave Naruto a smile that he returned, former family or not her cooking was bloody delicious.

After Kushina left the jonin sensei of team eight and team ten arrived. A raven-haired, red eyed beauty and a chain smoker respectively.

After the two other teams left, that left team 7 to their own devises. And by devises I mean cards against humanity. The winner one by group vote.

30 minutes later…

Black card: What did the U.S government drop on the children of Afghanistan?"

Athena: Bill Nye the science guy.

Naruto: BATMAN

Luke: a thermonuclear explosion

Winner: Luke

30 minutes (time elapsed: one hour)

Black card: why am I sticky?

Athena: overpowering my father.

Naruto: the shodaime hokage, naked, on a bear skin rug, with a saxophone.

Luke: the care-bear stare.

Winner: Athena.

Another 30 minutes later. (time elapsed: 1 hour and 30 minutes.) by now the familiars had all left to the Pokémon summon realm.

Black card: before we had _, we had _.

Athena: Sarah pallin/ Sarah fuckin pallin.

Naruto: my collection of high-tech sex toys/a vagina that led to another dimension.

Luke: a windmill full of corpses/panty raids.

Iruka: converting homeless people to mobile hotspots/stranger danger.

Winner: Iruka.

* * *

It would be around the 2 hour mark that Kakashi Hatake would open the door and see his gennin squad and the Chunnin instructor Iruka all playing a game that had questionable content. Felling the phantom pains that that one women caused on that faithful day Kakashi made his presence known.

"Team seven; meet me at the rooftop in five."

Of course what kakashi wasn't expecting was for the one he had the highest hopes for, if his rookie of the year status was anything to go by, to follow his example and arrive ten minutes late. And exactly ten minutes late. Kakashi knew it was ten minutes. He timed it.

As he leaned against the railing of the academy rooftop Kakashi began to analyze his three gennin that he may or may not fail.

Ladies first, Athena Pantheon: no ninja family background. Was an orphan that lived at the orphanage until she was kicked out alongside Naruto Uzumaki and Luke Unova. Smart, stern, psychic abilities, and if the katana and strange gauntlets was anything to go by, a swordswomen. _There's more to her than that. There always is._

Luke Unova: quite, sarcastic, and has a reputation of being very forward in his displeasure. A practical master of hyoton so much to the point he has incorporated it into his taijutsu. And is very skilled with different weapon forms. _And a jinchuriki if that strange yellow and light blue triangle formation on his stomach is anything to go by._

And finally his sensei's estranged son, Naruto Uzumaki: loud, rude, and the worst prankster that the village hidden in the leaves has ever had. A practical sage in the arts of stealth judging by the fact that he snuck into Anbu headquarters eight times in five years, defaced the hokage monument yearly, and even snuck into his sensei's home JUST to switch out a Christmas tree. He also had Nindaime levels of water manipulation, to the point where he could pull water out of the air. _And he may or may not have gained something from the kyubi. I'll need to keep an eye out for anything._

He was about to berate Luke for coming in late, but realizing that would have been hypocritical of him. So he decided to get the introductions over and done with.

"Well seeing as we're all here. My name is Kakashi, I don't like or dislike many things, I don't really care to tell you my hobbies, and my dreams…well how about you three? Ladies first" he then gave a very lazy wave towards Athena.

"My name you already know, I like giving people nightmares, I dislike you, my hobby…the human mind is a really fragile thing did you know? And for my dreams? The world is a very large place, shame it is that we're stuck here isn't it?" she spoke the entire thing quite casually, as if she didn't just tell her potential jonin sensei a confession that she fucked with people's minds.

Kakashi made a mental note to stop by Inoichi's and ask for help with mental barriers. He then motioned for Luke, who was seated between his two teammates, to speak.

"My name you should know, I like performing bodily harm to those I deem unfit to exist, I dislike the yondaime, my hobby is…ice sculpting." At that everyone turned to face him. "What? We gotta make money somehow!"

Naruto just rubbed the back of his head "I thought we just stole everything we need. Didn't realize you made money on the side."

"Fuck you! And my dream is to be a master."

 _The hidden land? Sounds like something from a mythology book. Might need to take a trip to the library later._

And finally we come to Naruto.

"Names Naruto Uzumaki, I like Ramen, Hinata-chan, my partners, and breaking that one guys legs! I dislike people who abandon children, late teachers, and dogs because foxes are so much better! And my dream is to go out and see the hidden land! Oh, and Luke can go to hell."

 _The hidden land? Sounds like something from a mythology book. Might need to take a trip to the library later. Anyway moving onto what I've learned so far…_

 _…_ _I have a psychopath, an ice-sculpting menace to society, and sensei's son who I have observed being involved in criminal activities. Again, why did I agree to this?_

"Well that was a…colorful introduction. Meet me at training ground seven for your gennin test in about two hours."

And with that, Kakashi Hatake disappeared in a swirl of leaves. Looking at each other the group of three all went over to training ground seven to put down a shitton of traps.

 **(AN: ON THE WEIGHT SCALE IT GOES FROM A TON, TO A CRAPTON, TO A SHITTON.)**

* * *

"Sensei, the three of them are sociopaths!"

"Do you want to do a youthful S-ranked mission with guy?"

"Never mind I'll see if they can pass."

"Good boy"

* * *

Kakashi found the three of them two hours later in training ground seven. He of course took it upon himself to recon the area, and much to his surprise, found traps. Well-designed traps, even gravity trap seals, pressure plate explosive notes, napalm tripwire (homemade), Burmese tiger traps, and other oh so lovely little things that could dismember and or eviscerate the silver haired jonin.

Sitting in the trees was, to Kakashi's approval, Luke. Who had created an ice puppet and was controlling it via chakra strings. He had it motioned so that it was leaning against the middle wooden post on front of the memorial.

Using his sharingan eye, Kakashi found out that the Naruto that was drawing in the dirt was a water clone. Problem was he couldn't find the original. _Well he is a stealth expert that has humiliated Anbu and myself numerous times._

Athena was sitting on the post to the left of Luke. She was the real Athena, no puppet or fakes. She was polishing her blade. Judging by how they said that he should already know their names, Kakashi could guess that they did their research and were most likely expecting the bell test. As was team seven tradition.

And they had planned for this. He was essentially walking in on home territory with the way they had prepared the training ground. Add the fact that only one of them was really waiting for him, and it was like he was doing an A-ranked mission with faulty information.

Nothing he hadn't done before.

These three were serious. So he decided to be as forward as possible.

Appearing in a swirl of leaves, Kakashi Hatake was now standing a little ways away from the three training posts. Athena, the water clone, and the ice puppet all stood at attention.

Adopting an eye smile, Kakashi reached into his shuriken pouch and pulled out two silver bells.

"This is your objective. To pass, you must take one bell. The one who doesn't fails. Is that understood."

It was three simultaneous nods that answered him. He then went to the middle post and set up an alarm.

"Come at me with the intent to kill. And only begin when I say start. Understood?"

He then returned to his original position…and just stood there.

Silence reigned.

One minute…

Two minute…

Three minute…

Four minute…

And five minute…

3…

2…

1…

"Start!"

And with that, Athena immediately unsheathed her blade and made a beeline for Kakashi as the ice puppet began throwing shuriken at the copy nin. Said copy ninja caught the shuriken just as they were about to hit him with his fingers, sliding them up to the knuckle and using them as a makeshift brass knuckle to block the downward strike of Athena's katana.

As she was trying to put more pressure down on the empath, the silver-haired nin brought out a kunai and charged it with chakra to block the blade of water that was held by the hands of the water clone, who had flanked Kakashi. Now blocking an attack from two sides, Kakashi eased up on the resistance he was putting up and twisted his body, causing both of his assailants to tumble forward. Allowing Kakashi the chance to escape from the deadlock and make a leap into the air…

Only to have to pull up his kunai arm to deflect an ice fuma shuriken from cutting him up, and then twist around mid-air to roundhouse kick the Naruto water clone that had leaped up after him. The impact of the blow straight to the stomach was enough to dispel the clone.

Landing, a few feet away from the liquid remains of the water clone, Kakashi immediately jumped away to avoid the explosion caused by the trap he had just triggered. As he was mid-air, again he had to block another ice fuma shuriken with his chakra charged kunai, but this time he had to use the metal plating on his glove to block the vertical slash that almost bisected him, curtesy of Athena.

Again, he had to twist in midair to kick his assailant, except unlike the clone, Athena blocked his kick with her gauntlet, causing her to hold her katana with one hand. It was then that Kakashi felt something wet grab him by the waist and pull him back…towards the lake.

Eyes widening, Kakashi charged his hand with lightning chakra, the first stage in learning the chidori to be exact, and managed to sever the connection between the water tentacle holding him and the water source that was the lake.

Not letting Kakashi have any room to breathe, Luke made the ice puppet create a spear of ice, with the pointy end being shaped like a drill just as Athena began to be outlined by a violet energy, before she began to charge up a **shadow ball**.

Looking up, Kakashi barely had enough time to roll to the side to avoid being impaled by the lance, and then performed a sweep kick to knock him down, jump pass the puppet to avoid another water tentacle, and throw an explosive note at the ice puppet before it could get up, creating an explosion that destroyed the ice puppet, as well as making a distraction to cover his retreat into the trees as he dodged Athena's **shadow ball**.

Luke cursed as his ice puppet blew up before Athena appeared next to him.

"He's heading toward the area where we had Loundred set up the music seals."

"Is Naruto on his way over there?"

A nod "You and Naruto will charge at Kakashi with Naruto providing support while I wait for the perfect moment to grab the bells."

"That's as good a strategy as we'll get Athena. Alright but we gotta move or else we will lose him."

And like that the two of them began to head off to the music seals to cut Kakashi off and ambush him.

* * *

 _These kids aren't playing around. That was a sound strategy back there. Didn't expect Naruto to wait at the bottom of the lake and constantly try to drag me under. There was some good synchrosity between the girl and the hyoton kid._

As Kakashi leaped through the trees he was too late to notice the genjutsu covering the containment seal that activated the moment he passed through its 'sensory line'. This in turn alerted all three of them to the location of their test instructor. And just as Kakashi realized he had triggered something the entire area he was in became incased in a barrier.

Something like this was not taught at the academy. This was made by someone good enough in the art of Fuinjutsu that they could make trap barriers. The entire clearing that he was in was encased in a bubble. The worst par was that there was no place to hide.

Eyes snapping to his left, Kakashi saw a bunch of water shuriken coming his way, and was prepared to dodge until the water Shurikens suddenly elongated and became ice Shurikens, and then a were accelerated by a wind jutsu.

Not having enough time to simply jump away, Kakashi performed a substitution jutsu to escape, and it was sadly with the only log in the bubble. Appearing where the log originally was, he groaned upon seeing that he was still inside the bubble, and was now being treated to some really bad rap music.

Scratching his head on what the hell they were planning to do with rap music, he barely saw the water arrows speeding towards him, and missed getting impaled by an inch.

Jumping backwards to avoid the arrows he saw Luke running towards him as he the boy plucked a water arrow out of the air and freezed it to become a dagger. He then leaped into the air and attempted to stab Kakashi with the elongated ice dagger in the abdomen, but was blocked by an open palm strike, and then grabbed the boys other hand and swung him over his shoulders into the ground and immediately jumped away to avoid getting hit with a water arrow.

Mid-air Kakashi went through a few handsigns before blowing out a fireball towards Naruto, who created a water dome around himself to block the fireball. This in turn created a cloud of steam that Kakashi used to his advantage by using a **DOTON** jutsu to dig underground try to submerge Luke underground.

Big mistake.

The moment Kakashi's hands touch Luke's ankles his hands were frozen in ice. In his shock he was pulled upwards by Athena's psychic abilities. Just as she was about to grab the bells the alarm went off. Kakashi was about to say something but Naruto and Luke just plucked them right off his belt.

* * *

Seeing as how all three of them didn't really do anything wrong no one was tied up.

Sighing, Kakashi looked at the memorial, his back to the three gennin he tested. Who were each sitting on a post to themselves. With Luke in the middle, flanked by Athena to his right and Naruto to his left. Never before had he passed a team before. But this group…they already worked as a team. The amount of synch they had, the planning, and the parts they played in the skirmish they had with him. It was not a battle. It was in confrontations that Ninja battled and dueled. Not drive by's and tests. Those are skirmishes.

Athena, she was the one who set up all those seal traps. She has the brains and the calligraphy skills to be a journeyman level Fuinjutsu user. The one who planted the trap was Naruto if his pranking streak were anything to go. But it was Luke that spearheaded the whole thing. He's the planner. He's not as smart as a Nara, but he is still intelligent. And he had fire to lead the charge. They were right when they said that Luke was the leader of the three of them.

Sensei was going to be ecstatic at the fact that his son fought so well. Seriously, combining his water release with Luke's ice release to create a deadly combination. First Naruto gives shape with his water, then Luke gives is form with his ice abilities. Simple, yet effective. And then there is Athena…

An up-front support fighter. Borderline assault right there. She slipped between the charger, and the backup unit seamlessly in the first part of the skirmish. Add in a few genjutsus and she would be an amazing support.

Luke was obviously the taijutsu user of the bunch, if those ice weapons were anything to go by. Maybe he and that girl from guy's team could help each other out? At first he hanged back, but the moment he got in the fray he was relentless, using every opportunity he had at his disposal. If there's one thing a ninja needs its initiative. And Luke has it.

Naruto was the ninjutsu user of the bunch, hell he was the only one who used a ninjutsu throughout the whole thing. And the amount of skill in water release alone that was needed for those water tentacles and that water bow…he may be the one that Kakashi passes on his signature jutsu to…

After a while of going over their performance in the skirmish Kakashi spoke up. "a leaf for your thoughts?"

Silence reigned until Luke spoke up. "The bell test is a test designed to pit the team against itself in the hopes that the team would put aside their differences and work together. Correct?"

Kakashi never even turned around to face him. "Why, I wonder why you would ask that?"

"The moment we get these headbands we are given access to the gennin sections of the library." Spoke Athena.

"Correction, _actual_ gennin greeney."

And then the blonde spoke up. "But the librarian doesn't know that does she? She simply asked who our jonin sensei was…"

And the gray haired lad picked up from where he stopped "…and you have been the tester for the previous team sevens. And you failed each and every one…"

And the greenet finished "…and Sarutobi Hiruzen is our surrogate grandfather."

Kakashi adopted an amused expression, not that they could see it. "so you managed to trick the librarian into believing that I had passed a gennin team, and you were able to get information on what the real purpose of the bell test was…how very ninja of you."

At that all three adopted a smile on their faces. And then Kakashi turned around.

"Deception, initiative, teamwork, and preparation. The four most important aspects of the ninja philosophy…and you three each possess them."

At then he turned around to the memorial. "Inscribed on this stone are the names of each and every Konoha ninja that has died in the line of duty. Each and every one of them are heroes, one in particular, Obito Uchiha, had a motto that I take to heart even today."

It was then that it seemed as if the air had dropped a few degrees in temperature as Kakashi turned around and looked at each and every one of them in the eye.

"Those that break the rules are nothing but the lowest of scum…"

All three flinched at the cold tone that he spoke in. it was like his voice was taking a knife to their spines.

"…but those that abandon their comrades are even lower than that."

Silence reigned as the wind blew through training ground seven. No one of them so much as twitched as Kakashi scanned each and every one of them with his eyes. Searching for anything, doubt, fear, hesitation, but he found none of it. His lone eye then softened as he took a relaxed stance.

"Every day you three will meet here at eight to train together for three hours, and then for the next two hours we will be going through teamwork exercises and chakra control exercises. And then we will either spend the rest of the day training, or take on a mission."

Once again he scanned all three of them for any hint of confusion, hesitation, or doubt. None where seen.

"If you are having trouble with anything in your training, come to me and I will see what I can do. Team seven, dismissed."

And with that, Kakashi Hatake disappeared in swirl of leaves. At this point, our three heroes got off from their seating posts and began to talk amongst each other.

It was Athena that broke the mold.

"Sooooooo…meet with everyone else at the barbeque place?"

"Meh."

"I was gonna say ramen but that works."

And with what was essentially a shrug, the three of them went to get barbeque while the jonin sensei of the graduate teams convened with the hokage.

* * *

Jonin sensei Asuma Sarutobi, Kurenei Yuhi, Kushina Uzumaki-Namikaze, and strangely enough, Might Guy stood in front of the hokage Minato Namikaze as they waited for the arrival of the final Jonin Sensei, who also happens to be really hip', Kakashi Hatake.

"Seriously, can he arrive on time once, just once! I miss the old days of team Minato when he was always punctual." Ranted the blonde Hokage.

"yes, while my eternal rival is tremendously hip and cool, his attendance is something I fear I will always beat him at."

"Yeah well the porn-reading bastard has always been like that for a while. And me thinks he need to be put in shape."

"Why the hell is guy here?" asked the chain smoker.

"Why can't there be one guy, just one normal guy in the village that's nice and single?"

Asuma adopted a look of shock "what about me!?"

The raven-haired beauty just fixed him with an ice-cold glare. "Drop the sig, and then we'll talk."

"Hell no lady! Live by the smoke, die by the weed!"

Every adult fixed him with a deadpan 'wut' face.

"it is most smoking is a most youthful relaxant, it is unyouthful to be smoking a joint."

And then everyone else looked flabbergasted as Asuma got chewed out by guy. Simply because he used such hip language.

And then Kakashi strolled in with an eye smile. "Yo I dressed myself, what's up?"

The fourth hokage took a sip of his coffee before addressing his tardiest jonin. "Kakashi, where the hell were you?"

Said jonin began to rub his hands together "ah, but you see, I have a legit excuse this time!"

"what would this most youthful reason be my eternal rival?" said a certain fashion disaster as he gave Kakashi the 'nice guy' pose.

Ignoring the fact that Guy could reflect light off of his teeth while standing in the shadows Kakashi gave his reason "I was frozen today."

…

…

…

"Kakashi…the fuck?"

"Minato! Language!"

"Sorry honey!"

After about five minutes later the other jonin had gotten out of their stupor and began to report on the passing/failing of their teams.

"Team seven-pass."

Once again, everyone present fixed, besides Minato and Kushina, Kakashi with an incredulous stare. Kakashi, being himself, just feigned ignorance.

"What?"

"Even if I'm a new jonin I know your reputation Kakashi. How did they pass?"

Kakashi seemed to think on that for a few seconds, before answering with "because the ninja'd their way to success."

"Ha, that's a good one, I should use that one against pops sometime!"

"ahem."

Everyone present turned to face the hokage. "Now that Kakashi has stated the passing of his team, can we move on? The stack of paperwork is only growing bigger the more of my time is wasted."

And it was. Literally. Papers just popped out of thin air at the top of the pile for no reason whatsoever.

"Team eight passed. Hinata took to the role of leader quite soundly. And Kiba went along with her while Shino played devil's advocate to challenge Hinata's decisions. In the end they passed my test and managed to work together."

A nod from Minato later and Asuma speaked up. "It's like they were born ready. That or the teamwork of the Ino-Shika-Cho is genetic. They passed."

And then the yellow flash turned towards his wife.

"Dear merciful god they suck. Seriously, who thought it was a good idea to team my mini-me with an emo and pinky?"

Minato began to scratch the back of his head while looking away, whistling, and taking a sip of his coffee. All at the same time.

"I mean, they only survived the beat down I gave them because our little girl rallied them. And I don't like the way the duck ass looks at Aiko. And don't get me started on how fast the fangirl was taken out. I mean they could have at least tried to play dead before they screamed…"

Yeah the reason Anko is like she is today is because of Kushina. And yes, I have gotten rid of her verbal tic. It was a bitch to type down so I got rid of it. I'm the writer I can do the shit.

"Honey, did they pass or not?"

"Hm? Oh they did. But just barely. I believe that I will be whipping them into shape for three months straight.

It was at this point that everyone else had different thoughts running through their heads.

 _Wonder if Shikamaru is up for a game of shogi? Seriously five games in a row and I didn't so much as put a dent in his concentration. I need to work on my tactician skills.-Asuma_

 _Sensei always was a slavedriver. I kinda pity those kids she's teaching. Wonder if I should do the same to my team…actually, bad idea. We don't need Hinata to become another Anko.-Kurenei_

 _Hmmm. I wonder what's for dinner? Maybe I will visit that most youthful ramen stand. It's not healthy, but it is a most youthful degree of quality.-guess who._

 _Yeesh am I glad I don't have to teach Kushina-nee-Chan's team. Their teamwork and connection with each other sounds downright horrible. Especially the uchiha. He sounds like a loose cannon. Imagine what he would do with my prized chidori…nothing good can come of that.-Kakashi_

 _63…64…65…66…67..what did two just appear at the same time? Shit! Is that whats going to happen from now on!? Two papers at a time instead of one!? Damnit im not getting any sleep tonight at this rate!-Minato_

"…and then used the 1000 thousand years of death on the pole shoved up the duck butt's ass. And by that point-"

"Honey I already saw it through the crystal ball. Now that everyone is done reporting, can you all get the hell out of my office? Except for you Kakashi. I need a more valid reason than the fact they Ninja'd their way into passing."

And with that everyone left the office except for Kakashi. And Kushina was still ranting on what happened during her test. Motor-mouth indeed.

* * *

When the door closed Minato put up the silencing seals immediately before fixing Kakashi with a glare that said 'no bullshit'.

"I saw the way you were rubbing your hands. What did you mean when you said that you were frozen today?"

Kakashi sighed as he did indeed rub his hands together. "It happened when I went underground to bury Luke up to his neck in the ground. It was just before my hands went to the surface that I caught him saying 'frozen skin'."

Minato took another of his coffee, noting that that was the last of it se he went over to his coffee machine as he continued to speak.

"So your saying that Luke managed to create a technique that creates a shit of ice on his skin, and that said skin can freeze anything that it touches?"

"Yes, but there is something else."

At this point Kakashi had moved over to the couch on the left wall of the room, opposite to the coffee machine and had taken out his copy of icha icha paradise. While Minato was now poring himself another mug of coffee. Said mug would be his sixth cup today.

"If you're talking about the sealing matrix on his stomach I can't help you with that."

"Just how different is that one from the normal Biju sealing methods?"

A page turned, and a sip taken.

"For one, the sealing method is one that is completely unrecognizable to me, Kushina, and Jiraiya."

"And the other?"

Minato was now seated on his office chair and began to sign papers.

"The sealing medium isn't ink. Its ice."

Kakashi closed his book and stood up.

"That should be impossible, but the proof is there. What do you want me to do about it?"

A denied stamp.

"Nothing. I just want you to observe."

And then he began to walk towards the door. "understood."

"oh and Kakashi…"

He opened the door.

"Yes, sensei?"

"…please take care of my son."

"…I will sensei. But not because he's your son. I will do it because he is my student."

And with that he closed the door. Leaving behind a smiling Minato. But that smile turned into a scowl as he gazed upon the towering stack of papers. Which for some reason, numbered in the 200's even though when it started it was only in the twenties. It also seemed to be leering at him.

Minato fixed the stack of papers with a glare. "come on chump, GET READY TO GET WRECKED!"

And then the stack of papers _hissed_. And the epic battle between pen and paper, man and business reports, kage and every daimyos person enemy began.

He really shouldn't have tried Sarutobi's weed.

 **SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY. AND CUE THE AIRHORNS.**

 **BABABABWAAAAAAAAA**


	5. A day in the life of Luke: shit happens

**goddamn this took a long as time to get to. worry not my slaves, for I, PROTOTYPEGEAR, have returned with a new chapter. here's to this shit actually being good...**

 **I own nothing but the OC's in this story. besides tony who was made by a certain skarmory...does that count as my OC or does it count as yours?**

 **meh, here's the chapter.**

 **A DAY IN THE LIFE OF LUKE: SHIT HAPPENS**

Konohagakure, the village hidden in the leaves in the land of fire. A shinobi village. Reputed to be the strongest (it's actually Kiri, but don't tell that to anyone from fire country. The patriotic mofo's get pissed easily.). it was home to many legends. Hashirima Senju and Madara uchiha, the three Sannin, the white fang, Kakashi Hatake and Maito Guy, Itachi Uchiha, the red death Uzumaki Kushina and her husband the yellow flash, Minato Namikaze the fourth hokage.

It was a famous and prosperous village that is the birthplace to many legends. It attracted merchants from all over, tourists hoping to catch a sight of one of the hidden leaf's great ninjas, and was the village that had the jinchuriki with the strongest biju.

And it was in mass hysteria.

Because of a certain grey haired, ponytail wearing, cold hearted, sexy looking, and glorious abs holding…

Ahem, getting back on track…

Yeah shit was going down.

"What the fuck am I looking at?" asked one irate Minato Namikaze. As he took a sip of his coffee.

Currently the yondaime and an entourage that consisted of a bunch of nameless Anbu were standing on top of the hokage building. Said building also had an excellent view of the village.

As well as the giant ass ice sculpture that was shaped exactly like a middle finger. And it was suspiciously facing in the direction of the yondaime's office.

"We are already on the job of apprehending the one responsible sir. She should be brought to your office pretty soon." Spoke a beetle masked, Italian accented Anbu.

"She?" questioned a confused blonde.

"It was your daughter. It was reported that she had unsealed a scroll and this…poofed out." Answered a feminine voice that was hidden behind a lamp head.

Realizing just what the hell the female Anbu was wearing the yondaime blinked. Took a sip of his coffee. And seeing no change just shrugged.

When you live in a village that had three Uzumaki pranksters you learned to just deal with the strange. Lest there be a repeat of the tap-dancing shuriken launcher testicaled squirrel turkey that was on fire.

It was delicious.

Seeing as how Anbu was already on the job, Minato deiced to retire to his office to do his paperwork. He really just did it to refill his coffee.

* * *

Luke was pissed. No, scratch that. He was furious. Very rarely did anybody ever piss him off this much. The few that did usually ended up in the hospital with a lot of ice induced bruises and or would rock back and forth in the fetal position. But this was a special kind of anger. He was at the breaking point now.

Someone had stolen his shit! Nobody stole from the thief! It just wasn't right! He was the one who pickpocketed other people's wallets, stole couches in the middle of the night, organized heists with his two roommates, and taught children the finer points of thievery.

But someone had to go and steal his giant middle finger ice sculpture made out of nevermeltice!

Which was why he was out at a café drinking tropical ice tea by himself. The establishment itself was called the chiller. And the place did have the effect on him.

He felt pretty chill.

 _Ever on and on I continue circling with nothing but my hate in a carousal of agony_

 _Till slowly I forget and my heart starts vanishing_

 _And suddenly I see that I can't break free_

He began to tune into the song there as he sat in a booth in the corner farthest away from the stage were the girl was singing.

" _Have to give it to her, she singes pretty damn well._ "

Taking a sip of his tropical ice tea that was in a glass cup that Luke could pick up by the handle, he laid his back against the cushion of his booth. Relaxing as he began to turn his full attention to the girl singing on stage.

The café wasn't exactly packed. There were a few shinobi mixed into the 11 civillians that were the patrons of the chiller.

The chiller was Luke's equivalent of Naruto and the Ichuraku's Ramen stand. It was his go-to place. A place he was welcome to. And a place he could relax.

"I know this song…" the ice user murmured.

The girl who was singing was a girl known to many places in the elemental Nations. She was known as Lyra Harp. She came onto the scene three years before Luke was born. Apparently she was both an accomplished Ninja, singer, as well as a dancer.

She had long green hair that came down to the middle of her back and bright light blue eyes that just seemed to radiate playfulness. She had on a black dress that came down to her knees and looked like something one would find in Unova and not the elemental Nations. High-length black stockings, high heels, and a black hairband on her head.

She was also singing bad apple. A song Luke knew from his previous life.

" _It couldn't be…no…was I the only one? Or am I just one of the few of an unfortunate string of people forced here for a god's entertainment?_ "

For some reason Luke felt compelled to go on stage to sing and dance with her. Looking around he noticed that everyone in the audience was shaking a bit, as if in uncertainty of what to do. With a smirk he decided that he would do something that would fall into stupid or nice. " _Well if no one has the balls…_ "

 _I'm slipping through the cracks of a dark eternity with nothing but my pain and the paralyzing agony_

 _To tell me who I am, who I was_

 _Uncertainty enveloping my mind_

 _Till I can't break free and-_

Luke appeared behind her and held out his hand for her to take.

"Maybe it's a dream; maybe nothing else is real, but it wouldn't mean a thing if I told you how I feel…"

Lyra had to suppress a gasp from the fact that someone else besides her knew this song. Steeling herself, she took his outstretched hand as she picked up the verse.

 _So I'm tired of all the pain, all the misery inside_

 _And I wish that I could live feeling nothing but the night_

Lyra was now twirling as the two of them danced together to a song with no music.

"You can tell me what to say"

 _You can tell me where to go_

"But I doubt that I would care, and my heart would never know"

 _If I make another move there'll be no more turning back_

 _"_ _Because everything would change, and it will fade to black"_

It was at this point that Luke catched a falling Lyra that he had thrown into the air. Singing the rest of the song as they danced together on the stage in the chiller café.

Eventually the song ended. And the watching eleven people clapped to the little surprise performance that Luke and Lyra put on. Eventually someone else came up with a guitar to give out a performance of their own. With everyone in the café focusing on the new guy with the acoustic guitar Luke and Lyra went over to the booth Luke was originally sitting at.

Ordering some tea for herself, Lyra was the first to break the ice. With a voice that sounded like she was singing, even though she wasn't.

"So you to were dragged here as source of entertainment?"

Luke looked to the side as he sipped some of his tropical ice tea. "Yeah…I got an empty ice block with no ideals to go off of. You?" he shot back.

She adjusted her hair. "I got a melodious voice and a tap-dancing fruitcake."

A ding sound reverberated throughout the café. "So that's why I felt like I should go on stage with you!" he then paused for a minute before chuckling. "So the dancer is a fruity? When you put it like that I think I got off nice and easy with stone cold here!" he exclaimed as he smiled.

Lyra huffed before adding her thoughts. "Well yeah…you're not off your rocker like space virus was when I ran into him."

Luke looked at her with obvious disbelief in his eyes. "Can't be that bad…"

She fixed him with a glare. "He was trying to drink my hair with a spoon."

"…okay yeah. He's a looney."

After that statement the two just relaxed as he listened to the acoustic guy. He was actually pretty good. And if Luke was right he had never played at the chiller before. Looking closer at the guy he stood out a bit.

For one, those musical note earrings looked like they were made out of diamond, they glittered like a diamond too. He had on a purple butler outfit too. Scarf tie thing and everything. His purple and grey pants seemed to only accentuate the whole 'personal servant' feel to him as well. His guitar looked very plain as well. Nothing special, but the music did leave a very calming feel on Luke…

"Hey man, that guy knows how to chiiiiiiilll…"

That's the café owner. He's stoned half the time he's working. Just ignore him.

"That guy…" Luke murmured.

"Hm?" she sipped her tea. "The café owner?"

"The dude high off his ass? No I meant the guitar guy."

Lyra raised an eyebrow at him. "What about him?"

"He's your partner isn't he? It would explain why I've only seen him today. The same day that you strolled into town. He's a chatot ain't he?"

She chuckled at this. "Cat's out of the bag isn't it?"

"It never was." He chuckled back (is that even a thing?). "So what are you exactly doing here?" he said as he raised his glass for it to be refilled. Pretty soon there was a slight gust of wind and the glass disappeared for a second before reappearing in his hands. Completely refilled.

Again, Lyra raised an eyebrow. " _Ninja waiters on standby? Must be a D-rank mission._ "

Shrugging off that display of ninja-ness Lyra began to reply to Luke. "I'm a travelling musician. I go were the wind takes me and my partner. I'm simply trying to enjoy my life here before the shitstorm in five years happens."

Luke picked up on the five years comment and his interest was immediately pricked. "Five years? I thought we had three."

She took another sip before raising her glass. Then her drink was immediately refilled. "I ran into this guy who had stark mountain in him. His Claydol partner told me about the whole time extension thing."

"His partner told you and not himself?"

Lyra immediately began rubbing her shoulder. "Well it was after he had almost killed me and Gilford over there."

Luke had a look of surprise. "Almost killed you? He a bloody psycho or something?"

Lyra fixed Luke with a hard stare. "Have you ever heard of the Iwa nin Toni Yamaguchi?"

"The only thing I know about him is that he has Heatran in him. And you told me that." He then made a motion with his hands. "Do tell fair maiden."

Lyra simply took in a sigh. "well appearance wise- he's pretty tall, long orange hair with gray bangs that make it look like he has horns, it's given him a reputation as the 'horned monster of the demons mountain'."

Luke nodded his head at the information. "Anything that makes him easier to spot? Like preferred clothing?"

She nodded "a gray jacket. It's easy to recognize his handiwork. Just follow the earth spikes, melted bodies, corpses full of steel, charred bodies, and pools of lava."

"Sounds like a brutal kind of guy."

Lyra flinched as if reliving an uncomfortable memory.

Luke took notice of this. "That bad huh?"

"You weren't the one who was literally hugged by him so that his harmful body heat could burn you alive." She snipped back with a bit of venom in her voice.

Now it was Luke's turn to flinch. Seems he had stepped on a painful memory. "Why did he attack you anyway?"

She simply looked away for a second before answering. "It was because I was travelling with some Konoha nin." She whispered.

Looking at her conversation partner, Lyra saw his grave look. "he killed them all, the only reason I was spared was because I had the same 'condition' as him." She said in air quotes.

Luke rubbed his chin in thought. "So he hates Konoha. Big deal, almost all of Iwa hates us tree huggers. What makes him so special?

Again Lyra rubbed her shoulders. "He had…his parents were killed by Konoha nin…" she didn't finish. Because Luke finished for her.

"Right in front of his very eyes I take it?"

She slowly nodded her head.

Luke simply sighed as he took yet another sip of his tea. "This world is fucked up."

"Please good sir, do not use such crass language when in the presence of my mistress." Spoke an English accented guitarist from behind Luke.

Luke immediately turned around. His ninja training demanded of him to do so. Upon seeing who had addressed him his eyes softened. "You're her partner I take it? Good to meet you." He said with a smile as he held out his hand for the human chatot to shake.

Said cutesy was immediately returned with vigor. "Ah, it is nice to see a courteous person such as yourself. But sadly me and my mistress must go if we are to make it on time to our appointment."

Lyra sighed in exasperation. "Is it time already? I thought we would have more time to talk Luke."

Said teenager simply shacked his hands in front of him. "It's alright; I just came here to blow off steam. Which I did thanks to you Lyra."

"Well if that's the case…" she reached into a hidden pocket in her dress. Pulling her hand out she handed Luke a card. "That's my business card. Call me up if you need me."

The card receiver simply smiled. And then smirked "I'll be sure to call you up if I need help with any of my heists."

Lyra then turned to face her partner "Gilford, meet me at the place of our appointment. I'll catch up. It was nice meeting a normal legend container for once."

"Yes ojou-sama!" he replied happily, and then ran up the stairs and out the doors with haste.

Luke chuckled at the sight. "he's very enthusiastic about serving you ain't he?

Lyra in turn had a smile that had a hint of mirth to it. "Indeed, well I must be going now." And she then turned to leave, flashing one last smile towards Luke.

"Good luck on your travels Lyra."

"And may good fortune fall upon you Luke." And with that the ice user simply sat back down in his booth. Getting yet another refill of his tropical ice tea.

* * *

It would be a little while later that Luke and everyone would hear an echo of " **YOOOOOOOOUUUUTH** " accompanied by a bright flash of light that shined through the windows.

Thankfully however, the chill environment of the café protected everyone inside of it. And thus the wave of pure youth energy passed them by.

The village on the other hand…

"What the fuck am I looking at?" questioned one confused Luke Unova, who had poked his head out of the front door of the café. As everyone inside the café was wearing, for some reason, bright green jumpsuits, and orange leg warmers.

Said people's reaction to the sudden wardrobe change ranged from horrified, confused, fetal position, and strangely enough, taking it in stride.

With a smile no less.

Luke decided that he hadn't had enough tea to drink and promptly went back inside.

* * *

It was now mid-afternoon. The guy outfits were now nowhere to be seen except on the fashion disasters himself and his mini-me. The giant ice sculpture in the shape of a middle finger was now gone. The village was now in the throes of its business hours.

Ninjas were hopping about, performing their missions. Genins were doing D-ranks, merchants were hailing passerby folks to browse their wares, screams could be heard from the T&I department, the hokage could be seen battling his eternal enemy, and the entirety of squad seven were in different locations.

For one, Athena was out sparing against Hayate Gecko, Naruto was having his clones do the entirety of the teams D-ranks, and Luke...

…Luke was sparring against Uzumaki-Namikaze Aiko.

It was training ground 11. Also known as the wasteland of the leaf. A training ground made slowly to train the survival abilities of those that dared to enter it. It was nothing but rock, dirt, and sand. With a few crevices and indentions in the ground. There were no trees, no grass, and no water. Completely and utterly lifeless.

And it was here that a fight was going on between Luke Unova and Aiko Namikaze-Uzumaki.

A clash reverberated in the training ground as Aiko's sword clashed with Luke's ice claymore. To Aiko it was an odd blade that was obviously designed with power in mind. So why was her opponent swinging it around like it was a fart in the wind? A sword that size should be heavy, not light as a feather.

Due to how she reinforced chakra into her blade, the two swords bounced. Blocking a downward slice from Luke, the dance of blades began anew.

Breeze sweeping across the meadow encountered frigid teeth of the howling wind.

Lance of the cold truth met the ascending gale of the north.

Cleaving edge of vengeance clashed with the thunderstorm of the west.

And the demons fang blocked the arrows of the misty peaks.

Abandoning the fight between Aiko's sword versus his arsenal of ice weapons, Luke charged forward to engage in a round of fisticuffs.

Grabbing his outstretched arm before landing six consecutive punches to Luke's gut, Aiko's eyes widened in surprise when her hand became incredibly cold.

Seeing her hand frozen around Luke's arm, Aiko hesitated to continue her beat down in her shock. This lapse in judgement was enough for Luke to turn the tables as he slammed his head into Aiko's.

Staggering back and holding her head in pain from the brutal ice-reinforced headbut, Aiko was too late to see Luke grab her head before he slammed it into his knee, before grabbing her head again, and throwing it at a nearby boulder.

While flying through the air, Aiko channeled fire charka into her hand to thaw it out, which it did just before she flipped mid-air, planted her feat, and used a wind Jutsu to send an approaching Luke hurtling away.

Channeling Chakra into her feet, Aiko burst forward with her chakra-enhanced speed. Luke, seeing the rapidly approaching Aiko, sent a blast of ice out of his hand towards Aiko as he was still in the air.

But his ice blast was for naught as Aiko dodged his ice blast, channeled fire chakra into her hand, and grabbed Luke mid-air, and judo throwed him.

Luke cursed as he was judo thrown into a boulder from the banged up form of Aiko. Not that he was much better. For one, his clothes were torn, and he sported a few bruises as well.

Rolling up and into his fighting stance to avoid a painful looking axe-kick from the Hokage's daughter, Luke began to form a dagger made from ice.

He sprinted towards the redhead with his hand low for an upward slice, that would have hit if the Uzumaki didn't unseal a dagger from the palm of her hand and used it to block her opponents knife.

Jumping back from the clash Luke pulled out a shuriken from his holster, and froze it, making it look like a fuma shuriken before he threw it mid-air towards the redhead who had tried to follow after him.

Cursing her impatience, Aiko brought her armguards up to protect her from the deadly projectile, which exploded when it made contact with her defense, which in turn through her arms to the sides, making her open to an attack.

Which Luke had already capitalized on, seeing as how he had planted his foot in her stomach just after her guard became open, sending her flying.

Flipping around mid-air Aiko planted her feet on the ground before springing back towards the now charging Luke with a fist enhanced with earth chakra to hammer him.

When her fist smashed into Luke it revealed that he was nothing but an ice puppet. Immediately putting her sensory skills to use, Aiko tried to search for the grey haired lad. Sensing him come up to her back she blocked his roundhouse kick with left arm.

Upon impact Aiko grabbed his outstretched leg and threw him towards a nearby boulder.

"Would you stop throwing me you fuckin chuckster!?" Luke cried as he created an ice sword to stab into the ground to help break his fall.

"Fuck no!" was the simple, yet eloquent reply from the heiress to the Uzumaki clan as she began to create a rasengan with the help of a clone.

Getting to his feet, Luke saw the technique that Aiko was about to charge at him with. With a smirk Luke outstretched him arm, his hand in a karate chop formation. Focusing his power, Luke began to make ice grow out of his wrist and formed around his hand, shaping it into a conical figure. Except for a few thing.

It was a cone that had an incredibly sharp point and greaves that began in multiple areas in its base that spiraled towards the top of the cone and met up with its fellow indentions.

Gazing at his handiwork Luke looked over his personal technique before he made it start to spin, much like Aiko's rasengan was spinning.

Luke had made a drill out of ice. Seems simple no? It's not. This technique was the result of years spent mastering his power. It was a technique that, when finished, would combine both the power he inherited form Kyreum, and his chakra. The technique had three steps, with the last two involving chakra. Luke was only using step one of the technique. But step one was enough for its first ever live combat experience.

Just as Aiko's rasengan was making a whirling sound, so too was Luke's personal move. Eyes locking, the two of them began to charge towards each other.

" ** _Rasengan_**!" came the cry from Aiko.

" ** _BREAKER_**!" came the shout from Luke at the same time.

And then the techniques met.

Spiraling sphere met spiraling drill.

A technique designed to rip apart its target, and the other designed to pierce its victim.

The result? An explosion of power that nocked one of the combatants away.

Gazing up from her downed position, Aiko saw Luke's outstretched form. His arm thrusted forward for the thrust, his legs bent to better hold his ground, and his eyes locked onto her beaten body. With a smirk, Luke said only one sentence.

"I win."

And for the first time in her fourteen years of line, Uzumaki-Namikaze Aiko tasted a new flavor of defeat. The bitter flavor.

For she had lost a fight that her team was cheering on for her to win.

In all her spars with Sasuke and all the others she spared with, all of her losses taught her a lesson. There was no lesson to be had here. Luke Unova had defeated her strongest technique with one of his. A technique he had created himself. Even her rasengan was made by someone else, her father to be exact. The only other technique that was like the rasengan was the chidori, and that was made by her Kakashi nii-san.

Even with her best technique she had lost.

And this loss would fuel her desire to grow stronger.

* * *

 **One hour before the fight started**

 _It was at the bridge just over in the residential district, the one that was over a river. Surrounding the river was an abundance of trees, grass and flowers. It was a local tourist hot spot due to it being the very location that Mito Uzumaki and Hashirima Senju were married._

 _It was also the location of a meeting between teams seven and eleven (hey that rhymes!)._

 _Sasuke Uchiha and Sakura Haruno seemed to be eyeing their jonin sensei with what seemed to be fear. Granted they were covered in bandages and bruises. And cuts. And Kushina seemed to be sporting a smirk that just sent chills down the spine._

 _Team seven, for the most part, except for Naruto; he was eying Kushina with the same amount, if not more, of fear as the two non-Uzumaki members of team eleven._

 _Then again, she was his mother._

 _Oh, and Kakashi was reading his porn. Good stuff right there. An absolute work of art._

 _"_ _So it's that time eh Kushina nee-chan?" spoke Kakashi with an eye smile._

 _Kushina returned his eye smile with a smirk. "Yes it is. Which one of these kids have you got to represent your team?"_

 _A page turned. "Well, while it would be interesting to see show you how far your nephew has progressed…I'm going to have to go with Luke on this one."_

 _Ah yes, the official explanation for why an Uzumaki like Naruto looked like the yondaime. The populace was told that a relative of Minato's had a kid with a relative of Kushina's. giving him both the Namikaze family genes as well as the Uzumaki family's chakra supplies and stamina. It got people to shut up about him being the son of the yellow flash, and it served to (somewhat protect him from iwa assassins._

 _"_ _Well, I'm going to have to go with my adorable little ball of mayhem for this little bet." Replied the red death._

 _It was here that Sakura Haruno spoke up. "Kushina-sensei what are you talking about? And what's this about picking one of us and the pervert choosing one of his students?"_

 _It was Kakashi that replied. "Well you see pinkie, this is the first time that I've ever taken a gennin team." He left off there for Luke to pick up from._

 _"_ _And this is a bet that was made a long time ago…" he trailed off…_

 _…_ _and Athena said "between both your teacher and ours were they would pit one of their students against each other…"_

 _And finally Naruto finished off "and now is the time to see whose teachings are better, your teacher's, or ours?"_

 _It was then that Kushina's eyes became dollar signs "and this has a crapton of money riding on it! So you better win and make your momma loaded Aiko!"_

 _It was here that Aiko stepped forward. She was wearing a bright yellow kimono that had metal engraved into the silk, so as to make it more durable (don't ask how that works, it ninja magic), she had on yellow stockings that also had the same ninja magic engraved chakra conductive metal, leather Greta sandal, silk gloves that were engraved with chakra conductive metal (not fingerless), her red hair was done in a ponytail that branched down her back and shoulders, and she had a smirk on her face on face as she walked up to Luke._

 _"_ _You're going down ya know? I've been trained by 4 S-class nins and I've never lost a fight when its mattered. And this one matters."_

 _Luke fixed her with a bored look, a look that was quite similar to Kakashi's look. "And this one matters…why?"_

 _The daughter of the yellow flash only looked at him in the eye. "Because I have people counting on me to win."_

 _Luke only retuned her gaze with a narrowing of the eyes, before the softened and he adopted a smirking face. "Tell ya what…I'll give you home field advantage as long as it's only our teachers that watch us fight. Sound like a fair deal?"_

 _Now as someone who was raised to fight with honor, Aiko would reject the idea of giving herself an advantage like that. But she was a ninja; ninja's didn't fight with honor. And her mother was counting on her to show Kakashi that she was the better teacher._

 _The choice was obvious._

 _"_ _Mother, I take it you have no objections to this deal?"_

 _"_ _Whatever floats your boat."_

 _And like that the stage was set._

* * *

Turning to his teacher, he asked him a question. "Chief, who's currently making a buck right now?"

Kakashi, who was sitting on a boulder, watching the fight with his sharingan to better remember how to help his student improve, eye smiled. "Well…it was just me and Guy that bet on you. All the other 48 jonin who tagged into this…well suffice to see there are going to be a lot of crying wallets today."

And cry they did. For across all of Konoha one could a bunch of tiny, high pitched screams coming from multiple people's pockets. Said owners of those crying wallets knew what such an event like this meant.

They had bet on the wrong team.

Back at training ground eleven Kushina could be seen on the ground crying as she wailed two words.

"MY MONEY!"

Scrambling up from her downed position, Aiko fixed a glare at Luke. "You…I won't forget this."

Luke only smiled wistfully. "Aren't you taking this a bit too seriously? Maybe you should stop by this café I know. It could really help you…chill."

Kakashi joined in. "Ah yes, I know thee place your talking about." He eye smiled. "Whatda say to getting the entire team over there and celebrating? Tea's on me."

Luke's eyes sparkled. "You mean it chief!"

Kakashi patted his head. "Believe it."

Over in another dimension were Naruto had that shit catchphrase, he sneezed.

Kushina felt a hand poke her shoulder. Head whipping around she saw that it was an eye smiling Kakashi. He then pointed to the pocket that contained her wallet. "Cough it up." Was all he said.

Crying on the outside, and depressed on the inside, Kushina grabbed her wallet, and took out all her cash, then put it in Kakashi's hand.

Said jonin simply chuckled and said "another happy customer." Before he went to walk away with Luke in tow to celebrate his victory.

Later minato learned that he would have to be the one buying groceries for a little while. Because even though Kushina gave Kakashi everything she had, she still owed him money.

And a Hatake never forgets.

Or at least those with a magic eye that gave them the ability to remember everything they see never forgets. But you get the point.

On the way back Kakashi questioned Luke about his new technique.

It was in the middle of game of poker between team seven at the chiller that he popped the question.

"Well to elaborate…it takes the spiny force of the rasengan and the thrusting power of your chidori, and combines them into one technique while using my special ice as a medium."

Naruto put down a seven flush. "So it's a move that only you can use because of Kyreum's ice yeah?"

Despite the fact that he was seething over losing half the money he got from Kushina, Kakashi couldn't help but be curious. "What do you mean by Kyreum's ice?"

Reshuffling the deck, Luke answered the question with a half-truth. "It's a contract that I accidentally made with an spirit dragon." He sighed. "In exchange for the power of the spirit dragon Kyreum, I would give up something."

Kakashi rose an eyebrow. "What did you give up?"

It was Athena who answered him. "We don't know. And that's what worries us…"

Kakashi, seeing that he wouldn't get anything more deiced to drop the subjects. Can't get his students to trust him if he forces them to fork over all that they know. And so the next game began.

That day. Before going to bed, Luke would look at the photo of his team and their teacher. In the photo the three of them had a blade outstretched into the middle to form an x with a line going through the center vertically. Naruto was on the right sporting a fox grin as he bent his hand so that his water blade (it looked like a scimitar) was pointing diagonally towards the ground. Luke was giving the camera a two fingered salute as he pointed his ice blade (it looked like a Scottish claymore) diagonally towards the center from the right. And in the middle was Athena as she sported a genuine smile as she had both of her hands on the hilt of her katana, which was planted in the ground. And Kakashi in the back had his left hand on Athena's shoulder and the other in his pocket as he eye smiled at the camera.

Smiling at the scene of their picture Luke felt a presence brush against his mind. Turning towards the mirror he saw the visage of Kyreum looking at him in the eyes.

They ice dragon simply stated two sentence before his image was replaced with Luke's reflection. " **Body and mind is ready, I will instruct you on my brand of ice. But for now rest, I will teach you starting tomorrow…** "

Seeing his eye shine for a minute Luke began to feel really tired all of sudden.

Well more tired than he was after the day was over.

Climbing into bed, Luke would later claim was the best rest he ever had. But for now this chapter in the journey of our three heroes comes to an end.

* * *

 **EXTRA: THE YOUTHSPLOSION**

"GUY SENSEI! LOUNDRED!"

"LEE! LOUNDRED!"

"GUY-SENSEI! LEE!"

" **YOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUTH!** "

A bright flash of light later and there was a spandex wearing Exploud in place of Loundred. And everyone in the village was wearing green spandex.

"GUY-SENSEI! LEE!"

"LEE! EXPLOUD!"

"EXPLOUD! GUY-SENSEI!"

And this went for about two hours. The three hideous spandex monstrosities hugging and exclaiming each other's names. As a waterfall of epic proportions appeared behind them. Bathing all who were present in the springtime of youth.

Poor baby Manaphy, who the now Exploud was babysitting, was traumatized and Naruto had to get about 15 different Yamanakas to work together to seal off the memory.

Neji hyuga took the brunt of the youthsplosion, and as such…let's just say there were lingering effects.

Orange leg warmers.

And poor Tenten, who used her own body to help shield baby Manaphy was never the same ever again.

For she had begun to wear the horrid green spandex. Said it was form fitting and great for combat. But one does wonder…

* * *

 **IM BACK FROM THE BRINK, FROM THE CUT, FROM THE CIFF!**

 **FUCK MY SCHEDUALE.**

 **Seriously. Mondays, wensdays, and Fridays are cool. But o literally have no time on Tuesdays and Thursdays. But yeah.**

 **What should I call these guys? You know, people like Luke, Lyra, and Toni? Seriously I need a good name.**

 **Tell me what ya think, was the fight good? Was the writing terrible? What areas do I need to improve in? Feedback is appreciated.**

 **As long as you are courteous, kind, respectable, and have a lot of money.**

 **Mostly money.**

 **And because someone requested a list of all the Pokémon and who's squad they belong in:**

 **Luke: Fletchinder, frogadier, Exploud, and mystery Pokémon X**

 **Athena: Scyther, Lopunny, Meditite, Spiritomb**

 **Naruto: Manaphy, Vulpix, and the evolved form of Dieno (forgot its name).**

 **Drink Dr. Pepper and live life!**


	6. Naruto! your sisterlikes girls!

**took a week and a day, but here it is. I'm trying to go for a weekly update sort of thing now. next chapter will either be about a day in the life of either Aiko, or Athena. after those two chapters it will be Chunnin exams time!**

 **I don't own Naruto. And so I curse Kishimoto everyday for making Skura and Hinata so freaking weak. I mean seriously, he gives the sharingan and rinnegan god powers, but not the byakugan? that doujutsu came from kaguya too motherfucker!**

 **Naruto! Your sister…likes girls.**

"And so does Hinata."

Luke's offhand comment as he sipped his tea gave an oh-so lovely reaction from his booth-mate.

Naruto spit out the water he had in his mouth all over Luke as soon as the words were spoken. And who wouldn't? His sister liking girls was worthy of a shocked face.

But his first and best friend? The once-shy girl that would play with him and his adoptive family in the park? The girl that would train with him regardless of what her father said? That often times accompanied their little trio on their heists?

His best friend was a lesbian!?

The images assaulting his mind gave way to a really awkward boner.

Three words. Fuck yeah Yuri!

"Hinata-Chans a lesbian!?"

Thankfully Luke covered his mouth so that everyone in the chiller couldn't hear him. So it came out as a muffle.

"Damnit Naruto! Watch what you shout! You almost spilled her secret!" reprimanded Luke in a harsh tone.

Naruto had the decency to look sorry as he scratched the back of his head and give his father's patented sheepish smile (no really, it's copyrighted). "Yeah…good catch there. Wouldn't do to have the noble Hyuga heiress's reputation fucked up no?"

"Goodness gracious! Do not repeat master Luke's words master Naruto!" came the English accented voice from across the table.

"I've been speaking these words since I was four! Ain't nobody in this Arceus-damned world that is going to stop me!"

"Can it, the both of you! Lyra's about to start!"

And so she began, singing on stage with a guitar. If you're wondering why I didn't really include her in this scene well…tough shit, the focus is on Naruto and Luke.

As the songstress was singing…and dancing with tornado hair, Naruto bent down over to Luke's ear and began a whispered conversation with him.

"So…why did you tell me that my sister and Hinata liked girls?"

Luke simply looked at him with a blank stare. "You mean you don't know?"

Cue the confused look. "What do you mean I don't know?"

Luke shook his head. "It's been going on for the past four months…"

"What's been going on for months?"

Luke simply sighed. Tired of dancing around it, he spoke the plain truth that Naruto was too dense to see. "Your sister and best friend are dating Naruto."

Blink.

Blink.

Dots were connected.

Synapses were fired and snapped together.

Thought process blue screened.

Reboot initiated…

Reboot complete.

Reviewing information.

Information on the reason for necessary reboot found…

"Naruto? Hey Naruto you there?" he was waving his hand in front of his face.

Information processed.

"THE FUCK!?"

"HEY! YOU DON'T INTERUPT ME WHEN IM SINGING CANTATA MORTIS GOD IN FIRE!"

"MASTER NARUTO CALM DOWN!" in response Naruto chucked Gilford's glass at him.

"QUITE THROWING SHIT NARUTO!"

"I'M GOOD AT YELLING TOO!" came some random green haired guy in the café.

And then the café owner peeked his head out. "This parties getting crazy. Let's _chill_ "

And like that he adopted the scariest motherfucking face you would ever see. So scary I can't even type down how nightmare inducing it is. But it's about as bad as Yamato's creep face.

After everyone saw the scary ass face that the café owner was giving them all, they all promptly calmed down and listened to Lyra play her guitar that could magically sound like a full orchestra.

Luke chalked it up to Lyra having a legendary in her that was music oriented.

After a while Luke caught Naruto mutter under his breath "I still can't believe it…"

Sighing, and then taking a sip of his tea, Luke turned away from watching Lyra, who had begun to sing ring a bell, and turned towards Naruto. "Look buddy, I know that it's a shocker and all, but be happy for them. They got someone that wants them for them and not their fame, prestige, or looks."

With a faraway Look, Naruto addressed Luke. "I know it's just…it's my sister and my best friend. I can't play the over-protective big brother on Hinata. And I can't exactly cheer my best friend on because it's my sister…and I'm still not over the revelation that both my sister and best friend are both lesbians AND dating. It's just…I feel out of my element."

Seeing that Naruto finished his speal, Luke turned back towards the show on stage. "Well I can't help you there. But what I can help you with is the creation of those water seal things you and Lyra are making."

Naruto chuckled as he too turned to watch Lyra just as Gilford went on stage to join her. "Well if you're willing to help… I'm going to need something from you."

His interest peeked, Luke quirked an eyebrow. "Oh? And what do you need from me?"

Naruto spoke in an even voice. "Draconic essence."

Luke paused. "That…is going to take a bit of meditation to obtain. How much?"

"That amount you used for that dragon pulse experiment? About one fourth of that."

Luke stroked his non-existent beard. "Hmmm…that shouldn't take long. But may I ask…why?"

Naruto simply sipped his water. "Well draconic essence would give it the density that it would require for what I have in mind."

Luke took a sip of his drink in turn of Naruto. "It sounds like your trying to make something from a clusterfuck of different energies."

He scratched the back of his head. "That's kinda what I am doing…I even got mom to help."

Luke's eyebrows rose. Both of them. "Really now…what can she do to help in their making?"

Naruto made hand gestures. "You know those chakra chains of hers I inherited? Well found out those can be used to restrain Biju chakra."

Understanding happened to Luke. "Ah, and because your using one tails worth of your regenerating two tails you got from Kurama, Kushina could help restrain them while Athena draws the seals onto them."

Naruto flashed him a fox grin. "And that's not all. Because of the draconic essence being pushed into it…"

"…it would make it possible for Athena to put the seals onto the water! That's why you said you needed the essence! Naruto you fucking genius!"

He stood up and made an attempt at an elegant bow. "Thank you, thank you. I will be staying here all night, waiting for all you plebeians to bow to your superior."

And then a can of Dr. Pepper hit Naruto's head. "SHUT THE HELL UP AND LISTEN TO THE PRETTY LADY ON STAGE FOOL!" came the shout of one, very irate villager.

Naruto was about to shout something, but found his mouth frozen shut. And then he was pushed down onto the booth by Luke. And then he was restrained by ice, had his neck frozen so that he could only face the stage, his arms were frozen to his sides, and his ass was literally glued by ice onto the booth.

"It's great and all that you came up with all that Naruto…but I want to listen to a very nice looking madam sing. So shut the fuck up and watch." He said with a condescending smirk.

And so they did. Luke enjoyed his time while Naruto…started to enjoy after about 37.26 minutes.

Such was the everyday life for two members of TEAM SEVEN.

Although if they had stayed an hour after they left they would have seen Asuma go on stage and create a literal air guitar and shred the mofo a new one.

And if they had stayed an hour after that they would have been able to witness Might Guy's legendary beet boxing skills as he went on stage with sunglasses and a boom box. The only one who can out beet him would be A the Raikage.

And let's not forget the next hour were the two of them combined their musical talents to make the greatest song in the world.

* * *

In the clearing known as training ground 12, a location that had a lake, majestic waterfall that was the source of the lake, and had a cave that the waterfall hid (there is always a cave being camouflaged by a waterfall people! always!) and surrounding that clearing was a forest of trees.

It was in this clearing that four people stood gathered around two floating balls of water that were the size of a soccer ball. Naruto, who was making the balls of water float, was also channeling one tails worth of the purified biju chakra he had. The color of the chakra tails that connected the balls of water to Naruto were blue instead of the usual red, thus making Kushina believe that he was just pumping really dense chakra into them.

Kushina herself was retraining the balls of water with her golden chakra chains. These chains were completely wrapped around the balls of water, trapping them and making it easier for Luke to do his thing.

Luke sat in between the two balls of water, with one hand on each of them as he sat in a meditative lotus position. Pumping the draconic essence that he was trying to generate into the two floating balls of water. As Athena put seals onto Naruto's skin.

When these seals faded into his skin, therefore making them permanent, Athena began to do her part in the making of Naruto's project. The mixture of biju chakra, draconic essence, and the restraining properties of Kushina's chakra chains was mixing into the water. The Biju chakra to give it power, the chakra chains to give it form, and the draconic essence to give it density, which was where she came in.

The draconic essence would rise to the surface as a dark purple substance as the biju chakra made up the core. The chakra chains are what kept all this in place. The essence that was on the surface of the water balls were what had completely fused with the water. And thus created enough density for Athena to actually write seals onto them.

For three hours straight, Athena would go back and forth between the two floating balls of water writing seals. For three hours Kushina would retrain two floating water balls. For three hours Naruto would be pumping his chakra to give it his persona imprint, Biju chakra to give it power, and mold both of them into two floating balls of water. And for three hours Luke would reach deep into his soul and pull out draconic essence and out it into two floating balls of water and mix it with both Naruto's chakra, and Naruto's self-replenishing biju chakra.

The moment Athena finished drawing the last necessary seals, the seals she drew on the palm of Naruto's hands appeared, and the two balls of water were sucked into them.

Looking at his hands, Naruto pushed some chakra into them to activate the seals that were imbedded into his skin. Causing the two balls of water to pop out.

Except they were different now. They glowed with a dark blue light. The core of the balls were an even darker shade of blue. The mantle was a color of dark blue/purple, representing the draconic essence. And throughout the surface there was a golden chain design that was constantly moving.

Looking at his audience that consisted of his teammates and his mother, he began to put on a show. Sending the balls a command with his mind, the two soccer ball sized spheres of awesome took off at surprising speeds and began to tear through the trees. Issuing another command, the two balls returned to him and took on the shape of swords and began to spin around him as he charged into the foliage, destroying all around him. He then had a brilliant idea.

Jumping up into the air, and then giving a mental command to the balls of water, he channeled chakra into his feet, so that when he landed he wouldn't fall.

Image the shock of all present watching as Naruto's feet connected with the two balls of water and destruction and didn't sink through. With a smirk, he began to fly through the air on his two orbs of water.

After about an hour of fun and carnage, Naruto had enough and landed near the fellows who helped him make his weapon of choice. All present were currently standing on the lake right in front of the cascading waterfall.

It was Kushina that broke out of the group stupor, being an Uzumaki she was used to crazy shit. Hell crazy shit was in their genes. "So…that just happened."

The other two could only agree. That shit just happened. They didn't really know what it was that they were making. Just that it was going to be something.

It was Naruto that asked the important question then. "So what should these awesome balls of water be called?"

Three different voices answered him in the order of Luke, Athena, and Kushina.

"Kyogre's Anthem?"

"The wrath of the ocean?"

"The balls of steel?"

Naruto adopted a thinking pose before answering with-

"The truth-seeking orbs."

"Fitting." Everyone turned to Luke.

"And how is that name fitting popsicle stick?"

Ignoring Kushina's nickname that she had been calling him since he was nine, Luke turned to her and explained why it was.

"Quite simply, the sage of the six paths had a similar technique by that very name. Although apparently his version could destroy mountains."

Kushina nodded at that, filling away a reminder to ask him how he knew that considering the legends about the sage told little of his abilities. She then waved bye to go home and take a nap.

Restraining something with the amount of energy those ball things had was tedious hard work. Seriously.

It was after she left that Kakashi appeared in the training ground to tell his squad that they were required to do a mission today. To which they promptly decided to arrive at the Hokage's office six hours late for shits and giggles.

* * *

Three hours of cards against humanity later, and everyone went their separate ways. Kakashi went to go buy another copy of icha icha because, for some reason, a blue blur that looked suspiciously like a certain female hyuga stole it before anyone could say anything.

It was hinata for all you idiots out there.

Athena went to go and run her Pokémon squad through a few drills. Possibly try to beat out lopunny's gambling addiction.

Naruto went to the ichuraku's.

And Luke…well I was planning to write this scene for a while.

Walking up the stairway to the Hokage's office, Luke expected many things.

He expected to get run over by a rabid member of his small fanclub.

He expected Aiko to pop out of the wall and demand another fight.

He expected Aiko's little sister to come outa nowhere and challenge him to a fight to reclaim his sisters lost honor.

He expected the little shits twin to pop out with his twin to do the same as above.

He expected to open the door and see Arceus chillaxin and drinking Minato's coffee. (A death wish for all who are not of sufficient badass rank.)

Hell, he expected Morgan freeman to be in the office chair so that he could explain the kingdom heart's plot. And gain another freckle from doing so.

What he did not expect was to open the door, see Kushina in a leather dominatrix outfit, straddling Minato, who had this look of absolute fear on his face, with all his paperwork sprawled on the floor, and Kushina having the most disturbing predatory grin possible.

Luke closed the door as quietly as possible and immediately filled away what he saw so that he could write it down and potentially barter it off to jiraiya.

Well he had to write it down so that he would have proof it happened. Because the minute he finished writing it down he was going to grab the brain bleach and _chug_ it.

Well as least we now have conformation about who wear's the pants in that relationship.

Hanabi Hyuga was many things.

Stoic.

A prodigy.

Aware of the fact her sister was both a lesbian and a closet pervert.

An avid super sentei fan, although she tries to hide it…

The favorite daughter.

Eleven years old.

And secretly has a soft spot for cute shit.

So that was how Hanabi Hyuga, pretty much guarantied heir to the hyuga clan, and the most stoic child since itachi found herself rubbing the whisker marks of a sleeping Naruto.

This actually caused him to purr. Like a cat. No seriously. How is that anatomically possible? Well anyway, on with the scene.

She couldn't help herself. Those whisker marks just looked so adorable. And so, that was she now found herself completely drenched in water with Naruto looking really sheepish. Then again, no one knew about his sleep defense mechanism that was ingrained into his muscles after years of being woken up by pillow.

At first it started with him waking up and throwing a water ball at the nearest living object. Eventually he just started doing it subconsciously. So when the eleven year old was about to wake him up with her whisker rubbing, the mechanism activated. Trapping her in a bubble of water for about three seconds. But it was two seconds more than what was needed to completely soak her.

Levelling her best hyuga glare of 'you are absolutely beneath me', Hanabi began to stalk closer and closer to Naruto. Completely disregarding the fact that the whisker marked boy had trapped her in a bubble _unconsciously_ , she was going to give him a stern talking to. No one disrespected her like that.

"Do you have any idea how much this kimono cost!?" she exclaimed in her childish anger.

"Chill kid. It's just some clothes. What's the big deal?"

"These clothes are what differ me from a commoner like you!"

Naruto groaned. "Great…" he muttered. "Your one of those types…"

Hanabi's eye twitched. "And what does that mean!?"

He levelled her with a look of indifference. "It means that you've lived a pampered life, had everything given to you as you were always showered with praise."

Hanabi crossed her arms as she continued to glare at the blonde boy. "So?"

"It means I'm calling you a spoiled brat kid."

How dare he? How dare this…plebian call her a spoiled child when she worked for that praise? When he soaked her favorite Kimono that her sister bought for her on her birthday? It's not her fault that she born above the commoners into a noble house. So how dare this pleb call her out?

"I am not spoiled! And because of what you did to me you need to buy me a new kimono!"

He turned around to his back was facing her. "Nope."

Hanabi was now shaking with rage. "What do you mean 'nope'? Do you know who I am!?"

He simply scoffed at her. "Not a damn clue. And I don't care to find out."

"I am Hanabi Hyuga! And I demand your respect!"

Naruto's response was to bonk her on the head.

"LIKE I GIVE A FUCK!"

He then turned around and walked away as Hanabi held her head in pain. It wasn't like the blows that she would get from sparing with other clan members. But it still really freaking hurt!

But Hanabi Hyuga is not one to give up. She is of noble blood, the prestigious Hyuga clan!

And what Hanabi wants, Hanabi gets…

…so she jumped from her position, and glomped Naruto. Hugging his torso and hanging on for dear life.

"The hell!? Get the hell off me brat!"

He was now trying to shove her off. But for some reason, despite all of his chakra and strength training, couldn't get her off of him for his life!

"No! I don't wanna!"

"Get off!"

"No!"

"OFF!"

"NO!"

"I'll buy you a new kimono if you'll let go?" he responded weakly.

"No! I don't want a new kimono!"

"Then what the hell do you want!?"

It now looked like Naruto had become a human carousal. And Hanabi was the kid hanging on like nothing else mattered.

"I want what I want!"

"That doesn't even make any sense!"

Hanabi was now using chakra to stick to him. And Naruto was still trying to shove her off when he could've just done a simple substitution.

"If you get off me I'll be you some candy!"

She then looked up at him with the most powerful weapon an adorable child possessed. A weapon that baby Manaphy had used many a time on Naruto.

The puppy dog eyes no jutsu.

"Weewy?"

A sigh escaped Naruto's lips as the eyes did their thing and broke through his defenses.

 _She would use my one weakness that any female can exploit…_

"Yes really…"

And that was how Hanabi Hyuga walked through the Hyuga clan compound's gates wearing a brand new kimono, a bag of candy in hand, and a lollipop in her mouth.

And trailing behind her was her guardian Ko. Who walked through with a limp and holding an ice bag to his 'iwa pride'.

Long story short, Naruto took the kid shopping, the kids' bodyguard showed up with an oak tree shoved up his rectum, pushed some of Naruto's buttons, to which he responded with taking a page out of Luke's book. With a water whip.

At the end of the day, a man got nut whipped, Hanabi got a role model, Minato got laid, Naruto got a new technique/weapon, Asuma and Guy made music history, Hinata and Aiko hooked up, and Team SEVEN completely forgot about Naruto's birthday as well as the angry mob about to knock Naruto out.

"Wait, what the hell is that voice tal-" 'THWACK'

And like a kidney stone, Naruto passed out.

* * *

Waking up in a dark room full of idiots was not on Naruto's to-do list for the day.

 _How the hell did that guy even sneak up on me? Dude had to be at least Chunnin for that shit…_

"Looks like the demon is finally awake…" droned one of the voices from the corner of the room.

In the dark room, the only thing that could be seen was Naruto, tied to a chair with the spotlight hanging down on him.

"So how should we make him pay before we kill him?" came another voice.

"BURN HIM!"

"DISMEMBER HIM!"

"LET ME GIVE HIM A HUG!"

There was silence after that last one. Until Naruto broke the silence.

"Well as long as it's got tits, a nice ass, and a bombshell of a body, then I'll take the hugs." He said nonchalantly.

He had already untied himself.

"Damn it kiria! Why do you want to hug everybody in the world!?"

"Because everybody needs a hug! Even demons!"

"DEMONS DON'T DESERVE HUGS!"

"Yes they do!"

"No they don't!

"Your being a fuddy-duddy!"

There was a sputtering noise from the darkness.

"I AM NOT A FUDDY-DUDDY!"

"Yes you are!"

"No I'm not!"

"Hey uh…"

"WHAT!?"

Naruto had the decency to look sorry. "I'll give you a hug if you wait outside."

There was a sound of a door opening and a cry of "YAY HUGS!"

There was silence after that, before Naruto stood up from his chair, causing a collective gasp to be heard throughout the room.

"He escaped!?"

"He got out of the ropes!?"

"WE'RE DONE FOR!"

Naruto could only sweatdrop.

 _They do realize that I wear a ninja headband for a reason right?_

"Kill it before it can escape!"

With a sigh Naruto summoned his truth-seeking orbs, which formed two barriers that acted as a wedge between him and the mob, causing all of them to fall to the floor after they comically ran into the wall.

Immedianlty, both orbs became staffs, which Naruto grabbed in one hand before grabbing the leader (he though) of the mob and throwing him at the wall, followed by one of the staffs, which pinned him to the wall.

Seeing one of the mob people get up, Naruto did a sweep kick, knocking the mobster to the floor, whereupon he was nailed in the head by Naruto's staff, knocking the fellow out.

One of the mob people came at his back with a knife that would have impaled him had he not substituted with another of the mob people, who was stabbed in the shoulder and went into shock.

He only had a look of shock before he got KARATE CHOP ACTIONED in the neck.

As the newly unconscious body was falling to the floor, Naruto turned around to deliver a jaw-breaking backhand to the guy that had tried to sneak up on him with a sword. He too fell to the ground.

After witnessing the shocking scene of having their fellow mob people knocked out with practical ease, the rest of the civilian mob people ran out screaming bloody murder, before being ruthlessly mauled by the undercover Kiara who was outside.

Walking out while dragging the mob Leader, Naruto was immediately enveloped in a hug by Hinata, who was doing an undercover C-rank.

As she squeezed Naruto she shouted "HERE'S YOUR BIRTHDAY HUG!" into his ear, which caused him to stumble out of the hug and fall onto the ground.

"GAH!"

Hinata simply giggled. She had come far from being the stuttering, timid, and inferiority-complex young girl she once was.

You can blame Anko for that. She became her caretaker instead of Kurenei in this story. So deal with it.

Before Naruto could even get up and say anything, she grabbed the unconscious mob leader and said "I'mdatingyoursisterbye!" before disappearing in a _Sunshin_.

With a sigh, Naruto began to walk away from both the warehouse and moaning pile of unconscious bodies and into the forest towards the village. After a while of walking, Naruto came upon the hokage monument. And waiting for him, on the head of the sandaime, was Luke, Athena, the old man himself, Baby Manaphy in his lap, Kakashi, his Vulpix, and the rest of the Pokémon.

Smiling, Naruto went to sit in between Luke and Athena. It was Luke that handed him a bowl of the ichuraku's golden Ramen special, the dish that got them on the ramen tour brochure. it should be noted that you had to shell out an entire bank account to even buy one of the ramen tour dishes.

So this was a birthday gift that everyone pinched in for their ramen loving brother. It was after his face took a bite that it became one of ecstasy. This was the que for everyone present to shout three words.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY NARUTO!"

And then the fireworks of the kyubi festival began to go off.

And this was how Naruto spent his fifteenth birthday. On top of the sandaime's head, with his family and sensei, watching the fireworks of a festival that happened on his birthday.

* * *

 **Extra: whatever happened to the guy who knocked Naruto out?**

Mizuki as having a great day. He had left the demon Naruto to hopefully die at the hands of a bunch of idiotic villagers, stolen the forbidden scroll of secrets, and get laid before doing all that crap.

Orochimaru was going to be so proud of him! When he appeared before him he was going to be made the right hand of his master for bringing him this stupid village's most important collection of jutsu and techniques!

And then motherfucking Iruka got in his way.

"Hey Mizuki! Buddy, how ya doing?"

He immediately stopped from jumping to another branch as he saw Iruka casually leaning against the tree whose branch he was on.

"Uhhhh….im doing fine? I think…"

In all honesty he didn't really know what to do. He kinda expected Iruka to question him on why he was leaving the village. And then he would tell him while gloating evilly, just like it said to do in the villain handbook.

"So I see that you're backstabbing the village…"

"Uhh…"

"You do know the protocol for traitors right?"

Mizuki scratched his head. "Uh…I think its…imprisonment?"

Iruka then blurred, before planting a skeleton breaking kick into Mizuki's pelvis. You would think that the guy would go flying right? Tree walking exercise combined with a kick, and you get ' _Iruka style: whiplash kick_ '.

Mizuki did not go flying. He jerked back, but his pelvis remained stuck to Iruka's outstretched foot. And then Iruka twisted it, tearing the skin into a spiral.

Mizuki did the only thing he could do, he screamed. Or tried to. Iruka had his hand over his mouth before the poor guy could even get a breath in to start the scream.

Iruka the leaned in closer to Mizuki's face, which had gone deathly pale with fear.

"We silence traitors Mizuki."

And then the traitors throat was slit with ninja wire that was connected to Iruka's other hand, the one not preventing Mizuki from screaming.

And then the dead body dropped to the floor. Iruka only sighed before he sealed up the body into a scroll, and grabbed the scroll of secrets before he began the journey back to the Hokage's tower.

Mizuki really ruined his night, he was about to get laid with Anko…again!

 **and so another closing on a chapter. I listened to vintage misery while typing this and I t gave me ideas. what do you guys say to a Naruto fic, where Naruto is a dragonslayer. but not just any dragonslayer, but the dragonslayer to the fell dragon Grima? the dragon god of ruin and despair?**

 **what do you people say to that?**

 **well either that fic idea or one were naruto is trained in hand to hand combat by captain falcon. anyways, tata!**

 **CUE THE AIRHORNS!**

 **BABABABWAAAAAAAAAA!**


	7. in which Aiko is not the main focus

**GODDAMN THIS TOOK FOREVER TO WRITE. I ran out of ideas towards the end. but enough about that. I got some gripes to bear at this moment. Like the fact that I want someone to make a fanfic about Naruto becoming a dragonslayer to grima. I really wish someone would actually take that idea! there's so much you could do with something like that! although what I really want is a cracktastic fanfic where naruto becomes a mage and go's around the elemental nations and blowing shit up! or maybe a mass effect naruto crossover were everyone in the elemental nations becomes an entirely different race that look like the second stage of the curse seal. im freaking exploding with ideas! but the one I want to see the most is one were our lovable blond idiot is trained by none other than captain fucking falcon.**

 **seriously, someone needs to get on that shit right now!**

 **as always: Naruto is owned by an idiot by the name of kishimoto. Pokémon is owned by Nintendo. kishimoto, I would challenge you to a pokemon battle so that I may wreck you with my hydregion-gardevior combo. but I don't know your friend code...you win this round.**

It was a regular morning for Aiko. Get up around five in the morning, do the daily thirty-five laps around the house, cook some breakfast, wait for mom to stop bouncing off of dad, make some stuff explode via 'sploding tags, shower, get dressed, and wait for her team to gather at the head of the shodaime on the hokage monument.

The first sign that today (and the subsequent week) was going to suck would oddly have to start with seeing TEAM SEVEN out at eight thirty, walking down the road perfectly lined up, while wearing suites, monocles, and fancy top hats, Kakashi included. They had their arms locked together, and they would all raise their foots at the same time above their waist, and they would walk down the road comically like that.

Aiko prayed to whatever god was out there that that wasn't a sign for some really annoying shit that was coming her way.

" **Not gonna happen."** Boomed a voice that was like Morgan-freeman-on-steroids-levels-of-deep that came from all directions. Startled, Aiko looked around to see who had said that. And there was no one in the streets to have possibly said that.

There was no one else in the streets.

 _I'm going fucking crazy._

Elsewhere, in her gut, a certain fox chuckled. Then full-on EXPLODED into laughter.

As if an Uzumaki could go insane! They already were!

Wanting to get as far away from the street as she could, Aiko used a _Shunshin_ to speed up her trip to hokage monument, were she saw that her team was already waiting for her.

Sasuke Uchiha, one of the last few Uchiha in the village, the runner-up for rookie of the year, and arrogant ass, and her greatest rival. He wore a simple blue shirt with the uchiha crest on the back, white shorts, and shinobi sandals. His hair looked like Howard took a shit on it and it transformed into his species.

He was simply standing on the head, glaring down on the head of the first as if to say 'You are dead, and I am alive. You suck and I rule'. Across from him, their other teammate, Sakura Haruno sat sharpening a Kunai.

Sakura Haruno was a girl who had a ninja father, but a civilian mother. She had short pink hair, and a body that seemed to be in between the whole 'huge breasts and hot bod, or flat a s doornail and meh body' curse that plagued Kunoichi.

She wore a simple red shirt, white shorts, and shinobi sandals. In short, her shippuden outfit. She was the one who was forth in place for Kunoichi of the year. Then again, that doesn't mean much considering that the only difference between the five graduating Kunoichi in their year was that their scores were a decimal apart.

Yes it was that close.

She was aiming to become a medic-nin while Sasuke just wanted to be powerful, so as to avenge his clan. And then there was her.

Taijutsu expertise, as well as Fuinjutsu prodigy, as well as kenjutsu mastership. Those were her goals. And yet, she was outclassed in those areas by TEAM SEVEN...

Her thoughts drifted to the trio of lazy bastards. They were each skilled in their chosen area, and they worked so well with each other it was scary. Luke could create ice from nothing, in the blink of an eye, and at anyplace, at any time. And he had beaten her best jutsu, as well as shown her the very small difference in their weapons skills.

She didn't even know that you could do something like what he did with an axe!

Then there was Athena, who according to her mother was a Fuinjutsu user of journeyman on-her-way-to-master level. Was skilled in kenjutsu, and had psychic abilities. Doesn't explain the shadowy blob ball thing she used to send Luke flying after he complained that walking was too much effort in their academy days (the walking thing Shikamaru whole-heartedly agreed with).

And finally, there was Naruto, her cousin. Or at least she thinks he's her cousin. For all she knows he could be a disowned family member. He was prankster from hell just like all the females in her family, had excellent close-combat skills, decent in Fuinjutsu and medical ninjutsu, and could control water like a goddamn waterbender. Oh, and he could apparently fly now if her mother was anything to go by.

Seriously? Fucking flight!? How the hell did he achieve that!?

Overall, TEAM SEVEN was the exact opposite of team eleven. Seven was lazy; eleven worked themselves to the bone each and every day. SEVEN had three boys and a girl. Eleven had three girls and a boy (although with the application of some make-up the boy could look like a girl). SEVEN had two silver heads, a green, and a blonde. Eleven had two redheads, a pinkete, and black haired duck-but.

Aiko was brought out of her musings when her mother appeared on the scene, mission in hand. Her mother had on a jonin vest, black leggings, and her hair in a ponytail that draped across her shoulders, metal plated gloves, a katana strapped to her left hip, blue shinobi sandals, and about 50 explosive notes sealed into her hand.

Always carry your art on your person people. Its common sense.

"Buck up ladies, we got a mission."

Sasuke had long ago stopped caring that their teacher had taken to calling him a lady. It just wasn't worth the effort.

Aiko groaned. "What is it this time?" she questioned irately. "Washing a window? Weeding a garden? Tuning someone's guitar again? Hosting a tea party? Arranging stuffed animals? Serving as back up dancers for that green haired chick with the butler guy? What is it? Tell me so that I can finish it and do something productive!" she exploded in enthusiasm.

Kushina chuckled at her daughters exasperated demands. "We're doing bodyguard duty." She said in a commanding tone, essentially telling her squad to get in line.

She began walking up and down, looking at each of her students in the eye. "Our charge is the actress Yuki Fugiwara."

Sasuke's eyes lit up in recognition. Sakura simply nodded without saying a word. And Aiko…

Aiko was having a fangasm.

"She and her crew will be shooting a movie in the land of snow. Oh and the little bastard that beat Aiko is hoping on board the ship going out to snow country."

And like that, Aiko's fangasm high was brought crashing down.

"Why is he going with us!?"

Kushina simply shrugged. "Don't know. Last I heard it was a bird watching mission."

Sasuke rose an eyebrow. "Bird watching? In snow? That doesn't make sense."

It was Sakura that answered him. "In extreme environments you can find unique animals. I think his mission is simply to get a picture of an exotic bird that is only found in Snow country."

She received a simple "Hn" in response. To which Sakura glared at him for using the Uchiha handwave word.

Kushina brought the attention back to her with a clearing of her throat. "The journey to the port will take about six hours by shinobi speed. Pack four days' worth of rations and clothes. We don't know how long we may be out there. So properly prepare." She fixed each of them a look that demanded their attention. "More gennin die on C-ranks were information on the mission is held back. I will not have my second gennin squad die on their first C-rank. Understood?"

There was a chorus of "YES MA'M!" heard after that.

Kushina then made a swiping motion with her hand. "We meet at the gate in an hour's time! Dismissed!"

And the three gennin scattered in the directions of their respective homes, leaving the jonin on the head of the shodaime all by her lonesome to gaze at the village. That is until a certain blonde haired, whisker marked, water-bending gennin walked out from his hiding spot to stand by her side with his hands in his jacket's pockets.

There was a silence for a while. That is until Kushina decided to break the tension. "Do you ever whish things could be different?"

He didn't answer for a while. "Not really…do you?"

"Sometimes I wish I could beat the shit out of past me."

There was a snort form the male of the two. "Well at least now I know where I got my cursing habit from…"

"Meh, I was a lot more expressive in my early years."

And then the snort evolved to a chortle. "How did pops react to that?"

"Blushed like a little schoolgirl. He was a damn flake back then. Hell, he still is…"

The water-bender looked at his mother quizzically. "But…?"

"I wouldn't trade his ass for the world." She stated with resolution.

The two of them stood like that for around twelve minutes. Just enjoying the view. But all things end at some point.

"Naruto…"

"Yeah?"

"Would you…let me hug you like I should have done so many times by now?" there was a hint of desperation in her voice.

There was a tense silence that reigned for seconds on end. But her worst fears of rejection…

"You could have done that three years ago and I would have returned it. Do you really think that's changed mom?"

…were alleviated.

And like that Kushina was able to hug her child with all the love and care that only a mother could.

And the relationship between mother and son was mended.

* * *

Squad seven was treated to a relatively normal site when they arrived at the docks for the boat that would take them, and their charge, to the land of snow.

The port was a normal port. Crates abound waiting to be loaded up onto cargo ships. Sailors and dock workers out and about. Ships docked, ships docking, and ships leaving. All in all it was what someone would normally see at a port.

That is until they saw the black haired actress in a green kimono chained to a chair via ice. Sitting in a chair to her right was Luke, who was slouched into a relaxed stance as he sat in his chair, drinking a fruit smoothie in front of the actresses face, as she scowled at him like he was the cause of all the misfortune in her life.

Standing to the right of Yukie Fujikaze was Naruto-verse George Lucas. He looked kinda like a butler. Glasses, a nice suit, short graying hair, and pants that complemented his suit. It was him that addressed the arrival of team eleven.

"I take it you're the gennin squad we requested from Konoha?" he inquired as he held out his hand for Kushina to shake.

"Indeed we are. How long do you estimate it will take for the movie to be filmed?" she asked as she shaked his hand.

"A couple of weeks at best. The filming will start on the boat itself, and continue to the land of snow and cultimate at a very famous spot in the land of snow." He spoke in a professional tone.

Kushina nodded at that. It would be a long trip for her team's first C-rank. "Well shall we go ahead and get on board? That is unless your crew needs any help with the loading?"

"While the offer is appreciated, we are almost finished loading. Although it would be much appreciated if you brought Miss Yukie on board so that we can prepare her for the first scene in the movie."

Kushina didn't even bother to answer his inquire. She simply barked orders for Sakura and Sasuke to carry the actress on board the boat that George Lucas pointed at.

The two then each went to a side of the chair the actress was frozen to, and then picked up the chair as they carried it to the boat. All the while Yukie was trying to scream at them, but her voice was muffled by the ice ball-gag that was in her mouth.

It would simply be a little while before the boat would leave the port. Kushina would watch as the crew set up for the scene that would be filmed while her gennin squad and Luke stood to the side out of the way of the film crew.

"So why the hell are you on this boat with us?" asked Aiko.

Sakura facepalmed at her teammate's bluntness while Sasuke sighed.

"I was tasked with finding a bird. Its blue and really pretty." Was all he said.

"While that's really interesting and everything, why isn't your team with you?" asked Sakura.

Luke simply shrugged. "Athena was given a mission to assist team eight in escorting Lyra to the fire capital so that she could perform for the daimyo's daughter's birthday. While Naruto and the chief went to escort some dude back to waterfall." He said in a bored tone. "I didn't really bother learning the specifics. Seemed like too much effort." He added.

By now the scene was ready to be filmed. So someone went to go get Yukie, who was still getting her makeup ready.

And now it was Sasuke's turn to ask a question. "So why was she frozen to a chair?"

Luke took a sip of his unfinished fruit smoothie. "She tried to run away…like five times. I had enough of her shit so I made sure she couldn't get away." He said with a scowl.

"Why the hell would she try to run away?"

Luke, again, simply shrugged at Sasuke's question. "Don't know. Me thinks she got some phobia for snow country."

Unnoticed to the gennin, Kushina was listening in on their conversation. And upon hearing the bit about the actress's phobia, her eyes narrowed. It seemed that this mission wouldn't be so simple like she thought.

 _Well…let's hope this entire film business doesn't go to shit._

* * *

 **AT THE GLACIER WERE SOME FILMMING TOOK PLACE.**

"This entire mission has gone to shit." Kushina stated in deadpan for all to hear as everyone present bared witness to the three snow shinobi making their appearance. Their appearance was preceded with an explosion, and when the dust settled it revealed…

A dude that had white-ish hair in an emo-cut. A pink haired chick with mechanical bat wings. And a morbidly obese dude with a crane grab arm.

Yes really.

Instead of trying to do expository banter that only one-time movie villains would do, the three of them immediately charged at the actress who was already running back to the boat. This prompted Kushina and her gennin team to jump into action while Luke stood off to the side, eyes wary of any other hostiles.

As Kushina charged at Nadare, who was descending down the mountain he made his teams entrance on top of, she unsheathed he sword and held it by the sheathe, her other hand on the blades handle at the ready to perform a quick sheathe slice.

The two met midair in simple weapons clash, slightly unsheathed katana against chakra reinforced kunai. The two then separated and began to ascend the frozen mountain as they continuously met in a meeting of blades in between jumps. Upon reaching the top of the mountain, Kushina sheathed her sword and sprinted to Nadare as she began to run through handsigns.

When Nadare looked up from his crouched position, he was immediately socked in the face by Kushina, sending him backwards. Only for a second Kushina to grab him by the arms to allow the first Kushina a to hit him in the pelvis with a brutal roundhouse kick that both knocked the air out of his lungs, and sent him flying out of the second Kushina's grip, and off of the mountain top.

While in mid-air, Nadare began to go through handsigns as he adjusted himself to land on his feet. Upon landing on the mountain side, he went through his final handsign, which heralded the creation of a giant ice eagle that charged at the descending Kushina, who plowed through it with a _Rasengan_. Drilling through the eagle and into Nadare's outstretched palm, which created a force field that disintegrated the spiraling sphere, and leaving Kushina's guard open in mid-air.

Which he immediately capitalized upon by sending a chakra-armor enhanced uppercut to the kunoichi's solar plexus with enough force to actually send her flying into the air. He then jumped after her with a kunai in hand, and made to slice at her back. Which was thwarted when she twisted in midair so that she was upside-down in contrast to him, and blocked his slice with her katana's sheathe.

Planting her feet in his face, Kushina used him as a springboard to get some distance. The two landed on their respective side of the two mountains at the same time. And like that, the dance began anew.

Upon finishing his sequence of backflips, Sasuke jumped into the air as he launched his clans trademark jutsu, _The Great Fireball_ , at his pink-haired assailant. Who simply jumped into the air and through the fireball that descended upon her, relying on her chakra armor to protect her and resurfaced from the ball of flames to slam-dunk the Uchiha out of the air, and onto the ground.

Where he was greeted with an ice pillar slamming into his back and breaking his fall, knocking the air out of his lungs. Giving the enemy kunoichi ample time to land a brutal falling drop kick that shattered the ice pillar that the boy landed on.

Looking at the boy's barely conscious form that lay slumped against a block of broken ice, the Kunoichi moved to end the Genins life with a simple kunai slice to his neck…

…only for her outstretched arm to be suddenly grabbed and frozen by Luke, who pulled the surprised Kunoichi towards him, and bashed his skull against hers with enough force to send her sprawling backwards…

…and into the range of Sakura's elbow, which she slammed into the unsuspecting Kunoichi's back with, which sent her flying into the air. Luke, ever the catch, grabbed her by the legs as she was thrown into the air, and slammed her down into the snow like a football player does a touchdown.

Sakura began to jog to Luke to give him a high five, but a crane-game extend-o-claw grabbed her by the back of her head, and smashed her face into an ice block shard that was next to Sasuke, who had just gotten up shakily from his knocked down position.

The obese snow nin who had done the deed had a smirk on his face…for about two seconds before a Kyubi-enhanced Aiko chain-suplexed him from behind. She then ran over to the unconscious Sakura and Sasuke who had unlocked his sharingan believing that Sakura had died upon seeing her unconscious, and bleeding from the head form.

And then the beaten up form of Nadare landed near the still conscious forms of his fellow snow ninja. Luke then proceeded to take out some rope…only for all three of the snow nin to turn into ice statues. This, in turn, set Luke off.

"The hell? There was an ice clone technique? The old man never said that something like that existed!" he yelled as he created an ice block from the snow just so that he had something to punch.

Kushina just simply went over to Sakura to check her condition. Sasuke oversaw Kushina's face turn into a frown upon checking her diagnostic of her student and began to freak out on the inside. Seeing his face Kushina began to tell him the news.

Off to the side, Aiko watched as Luke went through the handsigns for the Kuchiyose technique, and was mildly surprised when she saw a small, brown, adorable, fox thing pop out of the smoke. The eevee looked at Luke for a few seconds before it dived into the snow and began to burrow around.

"The hell was that Luke? I know you have a collection of weird animals, but I didn't know that they were part of a summons contract that you've apparently had since you were eight!" she asked/exclaimed.

Luke only chuckled. "I simply sent her out to try and track my mystery bird. She's always had an affinity for cold places."

A bunch of imaginary question marks appeared around Aiko's head. "How the yell will digging find a bird?"

Luke's one visible eye simply gleamed in amusement. "It's quite simple really…this ain't no ordinary bird I'm trying to find…"

Aiko was about to ask about what he meant by that, but the snow around Luke's feet rustled for a bit before a different kind of animal popped out. It's fur was light blue and it had pointy like ears and tail, and had four diamond like markings in a diamond formation around its rear on the side, and the clearest blue eyes that ever sparkled. Luke looked only semi-surprised by the appearance of the adorable animal.

"Hmmm…so you evolved. Figures, considering the environment." There was a yip pf conformation before it pointed in a direction with its tail. Seeing the direction Luke nodded before turning to face Kushina, who had walked up to him along with Sasuke and a now-conscious Sakura who had a bandage around her head.

"Going somewhere?" Kushina inquired as the glaceon jumped into the opening in Luke's jacket. Luke only nodded before he began to…ice skate on the snow in the direction of the trail that his summons had picked up on. Then he stopped, face-palmed (que the sweatdrops from all who are present {team eleven and some filming guys who had yet to evacuate onto the ship}), and then performed another summoning. This time a bird that was as tall as Luke popped out that had orange0red feathers around its head, grey fur for its underbelly, and black fur on its wings appeared with a yawning caw.

It gave Luke a 'really' look before seeing his glare, shrugging, and then motioning for him to get on. Which he promptly did by using chakra to stick to its back, before its went from 2 mph to 90 mph in a split seconds.

Talk about whiplash.

Seeing her gennin team's shocked faces, Kushina began to direct them back to the ship, which they had to water-walk to. Sighing as the realization that her team's first mission just got upgraded from a C to an A-rank, possibly S if what she thought was correct, Kushina began to steal herself for the shitstorm that was to come.

* * *

"GODDAMNIT GAMMA I TOLD YOU TO BUILD UP TO CRUISING SPEED NOT TO GO FROM NOTHING TO NINETY!"

"SCRAAW!"

"FUCK YOU TOO BUDDY! AND YOU'RE MOM!"

"SCRAAW!"

"DUDE THAT'S NECROPHILIA!"

"Glaceon…"

"HEY! IT WAS EITHER ME, OR THE BOONIES! YOU MADE YOUR CHOICE SO DON'T COMPLAIN!"

"Glaceon bitch!"

"Love you too!"

We find our hero in verbal combat with two of his six Pokémon summons as they flew onward toward…well were ever the damn trail that Weiss the glaceon guided them.

During the flying tour Luke got to see the land of snow in all its beauty. From the glaciers that created great crevices that acted as an underground tunnel system made out of ice, to the great fortresses and castles that were used as bases by the ninja of snow country, to frozen forests that reflected the light of day off of its frigid leaves and snow covered treetops, to the many villages that dotted the frozen wonderland. Chimneys blowed smoke, as Luke passed by, children would point out the bird flying through the air that carried a man, normal villagers would be out hunting and gathering firewood, while snow ninja went about the land, doing their missions and duties to protect the country of snow from the enemies that would try to harm her.

In Luke's opinion, it was a pretty chill place where he could settle down at and cool off.

…

…

…

*cough*

"Glaceon." the affirmed Pokémon cried out as it pointed in another direction.

"You sure? The last time you said that we were near was about two days ago…"

"Glace."

"Fine, fine. If it will get you to stop humming that damn rap song-hello!" he exclaimed at the end as Gamma flew past a mountain that was obscuring the view of a rather impressive fortress. ( **it's the fortress Naruto gets locked up at in the movie** ) and on top of the fortress was…an Articuno.

Luke motioned for Gamma to fly down next to the Articuno when he caught sight of it.

Landing next to the Articuno, Luke Immedianlty disembarked Air Gamma and bowed to the legendary ice bird. Weiss jumped out of Luke's jacket and made a bowing motion as well, as did Gamma, though not because Articuno was a legendary, but because she was a legendary BIRD. Articuno was essentially the bird Tsunade.

The bird of the frigid north simply raised its chin to Luke and co. motioning them to stand up in its presence. Which the three of them obliged to do. Luke took a step forward to indicate that he was the leader of the three.

"My name is Luke lady Articuno. I am here on a simple mission to 'prove' that you exist by taking a photo of you."

The legendary bird simply looked at him like he was an idiot.

"Okay, yeah I know that it's stupid to have been chasing you for three days and all JUST for a picture…"

The bird gave him a 'ya don't say?' face.

"…but that's not all I'm here for!" he said a bit desperately at the end. Desperate for what you may ask? The acknowledgement of a legendary bird of ice.

It then adopted a professional face, as a business suite magically appeared on it. It's a goddamn legendary bird of ice. It can do shit like that.

"You see…I have a summoning contract that replaces the boss summon with a legandary."

The old news face was fully displayed as it began to use its wings to start scratching stuff off of a paper. Making the scene look like some weird job interview.

"But no matter how much chakra I put…I couldn't summon a boss summon."

The bird nodded a few times to.

"At first I was frustrated. Then I was sad, then I was depressed, then I was drunk, then I was angry, then really tired, then confused, and then sad again, and then I was smashed again, and then I had an idea why I couldn't summon a boss summon…"

He then clamped his hands together and a large scroll with golden marking appeared in his hands.

"Its because I have to find the boss summon and ask him or her to be my boss summon."

Articuno knew what question was about to come up and was already debating her choice. She wasn't a battle-nut like Moltres, nor was she a scholar like Zapdos. She preferred to sit around, chill, and sleep. But she did like a big battle every now and then.

Looking up, Articuno was met with the sight of a begging Luke on his knees as he held up the scroll asking her to sign it. With a sigh, Articuno made her choice.

When the bird finished writing her name onto the scroll, it rolled up and poofed away. The bird was then immediately glomped by the glaceon, the Talonflame, and Luke into a big group hug. With a sigh, the ice bird wandered just what the hell she just signed up for.

* * *

At the Rainbow Glacier, Aiko was facing off against Doto, the usurper of the snow country throne. He was a man who adorned a powerful chakra armor prototype that enhanced his body like a steroid. Doto had used a jutsu known as _Ice style: black dragon blizzard_ to send her sprawling back onto the glacier when she tried to tear through it with a rasengan.

The black dragon began to curve around and dart towards Aiko's bruised and crumpled form when a large wall of ice burst forth from the ground and blocked the black ice dragon. When the two opposing forces clashed, both objects were destroyed as a mist brought forth from the clash obscured everything.

Under the cover of the mist, Aiko felt a hand tap her shoulder. "Psst! Aiko! How the hell did this guy beat you?"

She groaned before answering. "The guy had an entire elite guard that I had to fight through. And then it turns out the guy has the skills of a Chunnin ninja, and the raw power of a jonin!" she said in barely a whisper.

Luke nodded to her, not that she could see it. "I'll take him. You rest until you think you can help out."

Aiko coughed from her attempt to laugh. "I'm suffering chakra exhaustion! All because everything I threw at him, that damn armor of his would bock it! All that I achieved was cracking the damn thing!"

Luke smirked. "Well…unlike him, I got home field advantage." He said in all his smug confidence possible.

Aiko forced herself to look up into his eye. "How the hell can you have home field advantage? This is the land of snow! Everyone here is a hyoton use…oh."

Luke flashed her his devilish grin. "Yeah. He's dealing with THE hyoton champ. That said…Articuno!"

And like that, a fabulous blue bird burst forth from the cloud of mist, and with one mighty swing of its wings, disperse with the entire cloud of mist. Revealing a gray haired teenager with his hair covering one eye in a ponytail style that came down to his back **(again, future rouge's hair style)**. The boy simply held his arm off to the side, as the magnificent blue ice bird used said arm like a perch.

"DOTO! FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST SNOW COUNTRY, YOU SHALL BE PUT TO DEATH!" the gennin ninja shouted for all to hear, but mostly so that the movie crew could have some damn good filming shots.

The usurper only grinned at him. "That so boy? I am the ruler of snow country do you forget?" he then went through hand signs. "Know your place boy! This is my domain! My land! _Ice style: black ice phoenix_!"

From the ice and snow on the ground, I beautifully crafted, and detailed phoenix that was half as tall as the reflectory ice glaciers that surrounded the arena was made. Is floated in the air for a bit before it squeaked a challenge and flew towards Luke. Said boy smirked at Doto's jutsu before he gave his first order to his new comrade.

"Show that fake who the real bird of prey is Articuno!"

With a war cry, the ice bird flapped off of Luke's arm and flew into the air at Gamma speeds, and immediately tackled the black ice phoenix. Before the black bird could get its bearings straight, the legendary bird grabbed its neck with its talons and threw it at one of the reflectory glaciers. And then did the coup'de'gra with an ice beam that pierced both its chest, and the glacier it was slammed into, which in turn, finished off the black ice phoenix. As it broke down into nothing but ice shards. With a cry of victory, the legendary bird took up perch on top of one of the glaciers.

Doto simply sighed and did the same technique. Except this time, he made two. When they charged at Luke, a fiery blur tore through them. Melting them in the heat of the flare blitz. With a squawk that roughly translates to 'uh-huh uh-huh' the firebird too up perch right next to the ice bird. Prompting the two to do a wing-bump. Doto's eye twitched at the fact that the boy had yet to do anything and just stood there with a shit-eating grin.

"Hey! Doto! Want throw in the tall already?"

"Not on your life boy!" again he went through handsigns.

" _Ice style: Black Ice Bazooka_!"

Doto's technique launched a block of black ice that formed from the nearby snow towards Luke, who palmed his hands together to create an ice spear, which he threw at the approaching block from his position on the opposite end of the area from Doto.

Before the two objects had even made contact in the air, Luke and Doto began to run towards each other. As the two raced to meet each other, they both charged up an attack. Doto readied his chakra armor enhanced fist, and Luke began to charge up a _breaker_.

5 meters.

4 meters. The ice spear and black ice block shattered each other.

3 meters. Team seven arrived on the scene with the unconscious bodies of the three snow ninja from before in tow.

2 meters. Aiko had moved from her original position and began to make seal traps in the area.

1 meter. The film crew shot a dramatic shot.

Ground zero.

Contact.

The armor enhanced fist met the ice drill. The effect was instantaneous. The armor's chakra sensitive force field didn't even register the power of Kyreum, and as such, the armored fist tackled the ice drill head on. Shattering it through pure sheer force of strength, and causing Luke's eyes to widen at seeing his technique defeated.

The pure force of the attack made Luke stagger backwards for a split second. Something that Doto capitalized on by grabbing the lad's jacket, turning around, and throwing the boy towards the shrine. With a curse, Luke flipped in mid-air, and threw two ice fuma Shurikens. Doto simply smirked and began to walk towards the Shurikens. And was shocked when the deadly projectiles actually cut into him. His stomach and the center of his ribs to be exact.

With a gasp, Doto grabbed the two frigid projectiles, and ripped them out of his body. He then began to hear the sounds of a _Rasengan_ approaching. Knowing what the spiraling sphere was after seeing Aiko use it on him.

"Girl, if you really think that that move will work after the first three ti-"

He was interrupted by the voice of Sasuke.

" _Rasengan_!" came the shout from the uchiha as he thrusted the yondaime's prized technique. The jutsu clashed with the usurper's chakra-armor repellent field. What Doto wasn't expecting was the sheer amount of pressure that the jutsu would put on his armor, seeing as it actually forced him back a bit. He moved to grab the boy, but another cry of " _Rasengan_!" interrupted him.

Attacking the back of the armor user, Aiko put additional force on the force field that the leader of snow country prized. With a grunt, the black ice user grabbed the arms of both his assailants, and then threw the both of them at one of the reflectory glacier. With Aiko getting smashed into it first, followed by Sasuke crashing into her. With a pained gasp, the two of them landed in a heap at the base of the glacier. Completely knocked out cold.

Doto allowed a smirk to (not) grace his features. And then immediately turned into a scowl as he jumped out of the way of Luke's pogo stick ice spear stab from above. Twisting around the pole, Luke landed a double-foot kick on Doto's stomach, and then immediately got slugged in the face when he no-selled the maneuver.

As Luke was sent flying, Doto began to weave through handsigns. And with a cry of " _Ice style: Dragon Blizzard_!" a Chinese dragon made from black ice surged towards Luke. Who landed and hastily erected a wall of Ice from the snow in the area. It was not strong enough to face up to a chakra armor enhanced dragon Jutsu. Luke was sent into the air by the force of the dragon.

Doto began to laugh at the gray haired boy, who was about two miles in the air, as he fell to one knee from pure battle fatigue. Despite being a Chunnin level fighter with an armor that gave him the prowess of a jonin, he was not used to long, drawn out battles against multiple opponents. But the daimyo's eyes widened when he saw that his opponent was charging up some sort of technique. So the usurper weaved through hand signs and put a majority of his chakra into his next jutsu. The _Ice style: Twin Dragon Blizzard_ technique.

Back in the air, Luke was forming a _Breaker_ in hand, except this time with a twist. As he began to fall, and in turn approach the black ice dragon missile heading towards him, he began to channel lightning chakra through the grooves in his drill, which made the deadly technique spin even faster.

As the dragon head was about to take a chomp out of Luke, the affronted lad flipped in the air, dodging the black ice dragon, landing on its back, and began to run along the back of the black ice dragon. The other dragon tried to home in on the boy, who jumped towards the gaping maw of the other dragon with the _Breaker_ hand dragging behind him, and landed on the other dragon _,_ just as the dragon he was previously on took a bite out of itself, essentially committing suicide.

As Luke ran along the back of the remaining black ice dragon, Doto got up from his kneeling position and used the last of his chakra to create one last ice dragon in the hopes of killing Luke. Those hopes were dashed as Luke stabbed through the black ice dragon with his _Breaker_ , and landed twelve feet away from Doto, his _Breaker_ still going strong.

He then began to run towards Doto, who hastily stood up with his failing strength, and thrusted forth his _Breaker_ hand while yelling the name of his improved technique.

" _THUNDER BREAKER!_ " he yelled as his technique pierced through the chakra armor force field, the armor itself, and Doto's insides. With a roar, Luke swung his drill to the side. Launching the now dead usurper into one of the reflectory glaciers. Which, in turn, shattered it, and revealing the setting sun.

* * *

With Luke's victory, he walked up to the shrine were the princess of snow country stood with tears of happiness running down her cheeks. She smiled warmly at him, about to thank him for the deed he did for her country.

That is until he slammed an ice hammer onto the generator. Destroying it.

"What hell are you doing!? That was my father's life work!"

Luke snorted. "If that was his life's work then your father was an idealistic fool."

She simply glared at him with her hands balled into fists. "Don't talk about him like that! He cared for this country and he tried to give everyone hope through this generator!"

Luke's eyes narrowed. "Then your father was willing to destroy this countries culture? Cause an increase in the world's ocean size? To flood towns? Completely rewrite snow country?" he questioned with bile in his voice.

Koyuki's eyes widened. But there was still confusion. "What do you mean?" she asked/demanded.

Luke simply smashed the generator once again with the ice hammer. "I mean what I mean. If this generator was allowed to do its job, then it would melt the glaciers. Causing an increase in the ocean size. This in turn would flood port towns and cities, as well as farmland."

Koyuki's eyes turned to that of understanding. "And it would also change the culture of this country, as well as directing the blame for all the flooding onto my people…"

Luke nodded. "Exactly…now if you will excuse me, I'm going to go and take a shit. I've been holding it in all day."

And with that weird response, Luke turned around only to come face first with Kushina. Who had a smirk on her face.

"Uh…hi."

She crossed her arms. "Sup. Whatcha doin?"

"Oh you know, finding a toilet to take a dump at."

"Impressive moves out there."

Luke smirked the cockiest smirk he could do. "Damn right it was. Ain't nobody done anything impressive like that in the past few days."

Kushina raised an eyebrow. "Oh really now?"

"Really."

"Really?"

"Really."

Kushina's smirk only got wider. "Did you manage to suplex a train on the way into this place?"

…

…

…

"…Gamma…get down here. I need you to take me someplace so that I may ponder my masculinity."

"SQWAUK!"

"Oh fuck you to!"

 **AND THATS ALL SHE WROTE!**

 **CUE THE AIRHORNS!**

 **BABABABWAAAAAAA!**


	8. GATHER! O'WARRIORS OF AWSOME!

**BOOM-LAY BOOM-LAY BOOM! GOT THIS CHAPTER DONE! HOPE YOU LIKE IT FOLKS. THIS ISNT THE END OF THE POKEMON JINCHURIKI (REALLY NEED TO GET A NAME FOR THEM). JUST THE ONES THAT WILL BE ON THE GOOD SIDE. (AT LEAST BY THE END.) THE BAD ONES?**

 **I will accept Oc's from other folks for the villians. I only have one villain planned and that's the big bad. other minor ones that will allow me to write kick-ass battle scenes? go craxy folks! let your imagination go wild! by the way, details on future fics at the end of the chapter.**

 **I don't own anything from naruto or pokemon. whats I do own is a perfect Iv shiny female gardevior. my Lilith is fucken awesome!**

Chapter 8: Gather, o' warriors of awesome!

Sunagakure no Sato. The village hidden in the sand in the land of wind. A village surrounded by mountains that were carved to perfectly encircle the entire village. It was the wall that shielded the village from sandstorms and the like. It was a village made entirely from sandstone and brick, were water was a valuable resource.

The village had very few clans. To make up for that fact, the village had created unique fighting styles that were trademarked by them. The most obvious of these fighting styles is the puppeteering style. An emphasis on using chakra strings to control a golem packed with hidden weapons ranging from poison launchers, extendable knives, air cannons, senbon launchers, and many other pointy things.

The village is the progenitor of a majority of the wind users in the elemental nations. Wind, being the most offensive element, has done its part in strengthening the village with devastating ninjutsu that ranges from tornado creations, to creating a full-on typhoon. The village itself had created an entire faction of specialized wind users. They are most recognizable from the giant battle fans that they carry on themselves.

The village's clans do their part to add to the artillery. The two most notable clans would be the Sabaku clan and the other is a clan that had never taken a name, it was a clan that placed on emphasis on individuality. The Sabaku clan is famous for its magnetic release. Able to use the various metals in the world as if they were the clan's personal playtoy. The unnamed clan was famous for its scorch release. A combination of wind and fire release that could boil a person alive from the inside.

The Sabaku clan was currently the most notable clan in the village due to the yondaime Kazekage hailing from that same clan. Rasa Sabaku was his name. And he was the father of the villages 10=year old jinchuriki…who isn't as insane as you would think (yes you! The one with a bowl of popcorn! I know your reading this!). Simply because of one individual.

Rias Sabaku.

She was a 14 year old kunoichi that always carried a large scroll of weapons on her back. She wore a simple white battle dress that came to her knees. The dress itself had seven red dots in the chest area (which was as flat as a smooth concrete pavement) in a hexagonal formation. She wore a Suna headband on her forehead that held up her orange hair that went over one eye and ended halfway down her back. She wore simple armguards and black combat boots. She had what appeared to be fishnet stockings around her legs, but was in reality stockings with the wool replaced with steel threads. She had a simple face, no real features. Except for her eyes. Her one visible eye was white in its sclera, and was a simple brown. Her other eye…

Was a black sclera, and was nothing but a glowing ominous red dot. And beneath it, in barely readable size, was the kanji for steel. Tattooed across her shoulders were the words 'iron will'. This individual was currently sitting on a bench watching a redheaded boy with the kanji 'love' written on his head play with a bunch of other kids the boys age. The redheaded boy in question was in actuality the jinchuriki of Suna, Sabaku Garra. Now one would expect the boy to be an insomniac, something the boy's predecessors had. But he didn't have the telltale dark rings around the eyes. And was in fact a cuddle buddy when he would sleep with his sister or cousin. He stopped being a bed buddy with his brother when Kankuro became obsessed with manliness and being a MAN.

He was quite possibly going to be the buffest puppeteer ever.

It would be awhile later that a figure the age of Rias, dressed in a black cloak that showed nothing but a true blue eye that shined with loyalty.

"Master Rias."

Without even turning around the Kunoichi began to converse with the speaker.

"Leo Banabarte. How many times do I have to tell you not to address me as such?" Spoke the magnet user in voice that spoke nothing of amusement.

"My apologies…but wind genie wishes to speak with you." Leo spoke in a soft voice.

There was an imaginary ! that appeared above her head for but a split second.

"Sensei wants to speak to me about something? I thought he was away on a mission…"

There was an interrupting gruff voice. "Just got back brat."

There was a gasp from the kunoichi as she turned around to see her teacher. He was man with yellow eyes with black pupils. White hair that was really puffy like a cloud. He wore a purple and green kimono that was highly unusual among the village hidden in the sand. He wore Greta sandals and had white, ovular wristguards that seemed to look like mirrors. He was a tall man. Around six-foot eleven. Add in his muscular build and you have a very intimidating man.

His called himself joseph trail. No one knew his real name except for him. He was a jonin sensei to the gennin squad that composed of Leo Banabarte, Rias Sabaku, and Naoki Oakajee (totally not Japanese. I just typed in random letters. It is what Japanese appears to be). He was known to the village as 'wind genie' for his superb control over the element, his signature mode of transportation around the dessert. He would ride a cloud made from his chakra into battle as he flew through the air. Giving the impression of a genie.

"Can whatever it is that you're going to say. I have something to give you, Leo, and Naoki."

He then wordlessly reached into his Kimono and pulled out three forms. He handed one to Rias, and two to Leo.

As she read the form, Rias's eyes shot open in surprise before she turned to her sensei. Only to find that he was already on his way to the nearest bar to get smashed. With a sigh Rias turned to her partner.

"He always does that when he sees the two of us. Do you think it's us…or him?"

Leo responded with a simple shake of his head. "I think that we probably just remind him of his past…do you think we should sign these? You know what will happen if we do…"

Rias turned to look at the kids who were now playing volleyball with Garra. "Do you have a bad feeling about it?"

"Like nothing before."

Rias then smiled a smirking, condescending, battle-lusting smile. "Then we are going. One way or another. I want to make sure that my blades are stained red."

Leo smiled a similar smile. "And oh, what fun it will be!"

And her blades would indeed rust red with blood.

* * *

 **Meanwhile: in the one place with black people in the elemental nations**

Kumogakure no sato. The village hidden in the clouds in the land of lightning. A village hidden in, and stationed in, the mountains. The buildings were both built on the mountain range Kumo called home, and inside the mountains. It was a heavily militarized village. With everyone required to do at least five years of service to the village.

A village famous for its lightning users, beloved jinchuriki, famous Raikage's (in particular the third one who held off an army of 1000 for three days by himself as well as defeating the hachibi in single combat), its lack of clans, and it's very powerful lightning techniques. A special one of note would be the black lightning, with its only known user being the current Raikage's right hand man, Darui.

However one of the most famous people in the village would have to be the Raikage's wife. The storm empress, Elise Symphony. Many thought she was a foreigner due to her name, but as it turns out her mother was, according to the locals, just felt like giving her kid a unique name. Although, due to the third shinobi war, she was the last of the Symphony family.

In terms of appearance, Elise was a woman that could make a man question their masculinity. She was known for her light green hair, yellow and black eyes, the strange suit of armor she wore that looked like something from a medieval times knight. Yet it also looked like it was a robe, flowing through the air as she danced around the battlefield. In actuality it was a green and red striped robe that came down to her feet that showed off a breastplate that protected her front as well as hid her C-cup breasts. It simply had a genjutsu covering it. She wore simple Kumo white shinobi sandals and had weight like wrist guards that matched the Raikage's.

She would be often seen working out alongside her husband. The few people that actually watched the workout tended to feel like their manliness was being questioned.

Elise was known for two simple things. Completely and utterly destroying her opponents with her wind and lightning attacks, and having the temper of a dragon in public.

That fruit stand never even knew what hit it.

Like the Raikage and his brother Bee, Elise was also one half of a duo that was famous during the war. Her partner was a reserved man, and intelligent man. A man by the Name of Tetsu Stone. A man with a greater mind than a Nara. He had a strange X shaped birthmark that was perfectly symmetrical on his face, legs that were both bulky AND made of metal, and the ability to levitate off the ground for a duration of time. He was known for his tactical prowess and devastating taijutsu style that he dubbed the 'Meteor' style. He also had his silver hair styled into an afro.

He was also the caretaker of his partner's kid. The fourteen-year old Z Symphony. Normally it's the bride that takes on the name of the husband but…well one, they could never get her in the damn dress. Two, she went to the wedding in a suit of armor. Three, she threatened to call off the wedding if A didn't take on her family name. And four, the Raikage was scared shitless by his wife. That and he was whipped. So he couldn't really say no.

Z Symphony was in actuality, a pretty chill kid. He had inherited his father and mother's skin tone, had his father's hair and mother's eyes, was a workaholic/work-out-a-holic like his parents, and was a complete and utter baller with lightning techniques. He wore a simple black jacket with lightning crosses on mirroring sides and white shinobi pants, and back sandals. And currently he was watching his mother throw exercise equipment at his father. The family's normal method of argument.

"He's still too young woman! He'll get clawed to pieces out there!"

A bench-press was thrown out of the office window because someone wasn't man enough to block it with his face.

"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN! MY BOY IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR IT!"

A buoy hit the village leader in the chest…and shattered when it clashed with his abs.

"Where the hell do you get this stuff!?"

She chucked his desk at him. He promptly 'meeped' and ducked under it. Causing it to go flying out the broken window. A cry of "MY CABBAGES!" could be heard off in the distance…

A sighed as he stood straight up. "Damn…that the eight desk this week…"

Finding the words to try and convince his wife that allowing their son to go and sign that paper was a bad idea, he turned to face his wife…

And promptly felt his chances of preventing his son from walking into a possible death trap be dashed on the rocks as his son, Yugito Nii, and his sons other teammate, all signing the dreaded papers.

His son then turned to him with a smile on his face. "Yo, I do be thinking that we be going to this thang."

His mother punched the back of his head. "Proper English brat. Speak it."

A had to restrain himself from smashing his head into the wall. Ever since he let his brother tutor his son, the boy had taken to doing a bastardized version of the universal language.

After Z had gotten himself off the floor he turned to his father. "Yeah…sorry pops. But my team and me are going. And there ain't nothing you can do about it." He said with a cheeky smile.

A simply looked at him. Then his wife, who held a three barbells in her hand primed and ready for throwing. And finally the broken window that his wife would drop kick him through if he dodged the barbells when he refused to allow him to go.

He then made his decision.

"Just kick ass while you're there. I expect you to go far. Far enough for me to witness you beatdown your opponents! Show them what being a Kumo gennin means!"

His son smirked. As did his teammates.

"Oh trust me pops. We will. After all, I am the son of the Raikage and the dragon empress of the sky aren't I?"

* * *

 **MEANWHILE: in the office of the fence sitter…**

An orange haired man wearing a jacket with the footprint of Heatran was reading a paper that was handed to him by his village leader. He then promptly set the paper ablaze.

"Fuck no old man. I may want to utterly annihilate the entire village of tree shitters, but I ain't stupid enough to go there."

The old leader of the village hidden in stone looked at the up-and-coming Chunnin standing on the other side of his desk.

"All that you would have to do is help out with the first part!" the jinton user shouted. "C'mon, you like scaring the shit out of a bunch of kids! It won't be that bad!"

The 16-year old Chunnin narrowed his eyes. "I don't trust myself to not start an international incident you old fart!" he all but shouted. The fear of being atomized was the only thing preventing him from trying to fill up the old man's insides with steel. "For the last time…I'M NOT GOING YOU OLD FUCK!"

The Tsukage's eyes narrowed. "Hey brat…" he began. A dangerous tone following his voice.

 _Ohshitohshitohshitohshitmeandmygloriousdouchebagattitude…_

"What old man?"

"…ever seen a grown man naked?"

In the end, the psychopathic Chunnin relented. Although people in the hidden stone village would forever question the girly scream that came from the village leader's office. Whenever the Yoton user was questioned he would just fall to the ground and start rocking back and forth in the fetal position. Mumbling things about 'what has been seen cannot be unseen…'

* * *

 **MEANWHILE** : **IN AN OBSURE PLACE…literally. I mean this place is…**

…Hoshigakure. The village hidden in the stars in the land of bears. It was a simple village that although was founded one-hundred years before Konoha, only became a shinobi village thirty years after the founding of Konoha. To describe how it looked. Imagine a native American gathering of tepees. Now imagine a town that could generate that kind of feel. It was a peaceful village. Not many clients, but an adequate shinobi force as well.

It was notable for only one thing. The meteorite known as the 'star' by the locals. This meteorite emitted a radiation that, through the mysterious Peacock Method devised by the village founder, could essentially make super ninjas with ridiculous chakra control precise enough to make wings and shields. It was essentially the village's chakra armor.

However all power has a price. And the mysterious Peacock Method is no different. Those that didn't survive the training that took place in front of the star (the majority of people) would suffer radiation poisoning, ruptured organs, internal bleeding, organ failure, and explosive diarrhea.

No joke. That shit is dangerous.

There were only three notable shinobi in the minor village. A fourteen-year old, dark haired male that was always seen in a midnight black suit of armor. Onyx black chainmail kneecaps. Abyss black sabatons and a helmet that was reminiscent of Zero's helmet from code geass. In short, he was a black knight. And he acted the part too. He always had by his side a ghastly looking fifteen year old that was easily recognized by his grey and dark blue-purple jacket. His name was Vio Kresnik.

On the back it read 'Momento Mori' confusing all who didn't know Latin. The hood of the jacket, when adoned, covered his face with a skull design. What many people didn't know was that he had a strange birthmark that looked suspiciously like a closed mouth. Not many people tended to notice the boy's presence. The rest of his clothes included grey slacks and, white gloves, a headband tied to his neck, black sandals, and a white shirt underneath his jacket that a skull design with a red eye in the skull, and nothing in the other eye.

The final member of the trio was a fourteen year old by the name of Sumaru. He was a prodigy in using the Peacock method to change his chakra. He was a black haired, reddish-brown eyed, purple scarf and regular shinobi outfit wearing gennin and a member of Hoshigakure's most hyped up gennin squad. It was the one that the village believed was going to jump-start the village's position to one of higher status. It all began when the knight boy, Arthur Almia, did something to the star that made it safe to use the mysterious Peacock Method.

All three of them were currently staring at their squad leader, Sumaru's mother, the most powerful shinobi in the village, but not its leader, the violet long haired, jade-green eyed Natsuhi. The reason for the staring? The info dump she just put the three of them through. Natsuhi just smiled at the scene. Reminded of the time that she went through the same thing. With a clap she brought all three of them to attention.

"Alright you three, what do you say?" she asked sweetly.

Arthur turned to his teammate Vio. "What do you believe would be the correct course?"

The ghastly looking teenager simply shrugged as he put his hands in his pockets. "Honestly king? I think we should go. Who knows? We might run into a worthy challenge…"

Arthur simply nodded and turned to Sumaru.

"I-I think we should go. If we prove how good Hoshi shinobi are we could get more missions. That would be a good thing right mom?"

Natsuhi nodded as she produced three sheets of paper from a storage seal on her gloved hand. "That's right. The hopes of the star village are riding on you three."

All three gennin took one of the sheets and began filling them out with a pen that was being passed around. When they finished they gave them back to their teacher.

"Alright then. We have one month before we have to head to where they are being held. Let's get to the training ground team!" she exclaimed with enthusiasm and a fist pump into the air.

"YEAH/yippee/…" was the replies.

* * *

 **MEANWHILE. IN A BACK** **WATER** **NINJA VILLAGE**

The village hidden in the Mist in the land of water was an island country. It was a port village that obtained a majority of its supplies from imports. Although there were some unique items that the village exported.

Six years ago the village had come out of three-year silver war. The yondaime Mizukage had tried to instigate a bloodline purge. It didn't work out so well when eighteen-year old Mei Terumi spearheaded the pro bloodlines force and kicked the Mizukage and his followers out of town. She was then crowned Gondaime Mizukage. They would then proceed to ward off attacks by the former Mizukage until Mei, Kisame, and Zabuza had enough of his shit and brought the fight to him. Two days later they paraded his corpse around town, showing just what happens when you try to crusade against your own people.

The village was quite well known for their swordsmithing abilities. The village was after all the progenitor of the seven shinobi swordsmen famous for their unique blades and sheer effectiveness with them. Of which only two of the original seven still exist.

Kisame Hoshigake and Zabuza Momochi. They were the only two swordsmen still loyal to the village. And the two who killed off the traitorous members of the seven. Well except for the one women on the team. She died of illness and left her swords, the Kiba, to her 16-year old apprentice, Terra Greaver. A bubbly girl with a moderately sized chest that seemed to jump everywhere. She was feared throughout the village for her jump kicks that were likened to Might Guy's 'DYNAMIC ENTRY!'. She was known to be downright brutal with the Kiba blades though.

In terms of dress, she were simple blue camo pants that stopped just a little above her ankles, with bandages covering up what skin could be seen between her pants and black shinobi sandals. On her torso she wore a simple T-shirt with a smiling bunny face on it and a long-sleeved baggy camo fur coat over it. She had black, fingerless gloves with a metal plate on the back of the hand and a Kiri forehead protector tied around her waist like a belt. On her back she had the twin blades, Kiba, were strapped securely onto her person.

Her face was heart-shaped with brown eyes and curly pink hair that never ever stayed down. She was currently jumping along the port-ninja village's rooftops. Scaring the shit out of anyone that had experienced her 'bunny springboard' personally. Trailing behind her was a girl her age that had long white hair tied in a ponytail that came to her back and two red dots around her eyebrows. She was dressed in a simple, yet elegant kimono that was white and red in color, with the white being the predominant color and the red simply being ribbons tied around her waist. She wore simple white shinobi sandals and had a forehead protector tied around her head. However her ninja headband hid the upside-down red triangle on her forehead. Her yes wore a yellow color.

Did I mention that she had freaking D-cup breasts? Cuz she's only sixteen. And single. This Kunoichi's name was Kasumi Kaguya. A member of the feared Kaguya clan. Known for their powerful bloodlimit, the dead bone pulse, and their lust for battle that scared the living shit out people, literally. Kasumi was a gennin of the team that consisted of her, Terra, and Haku Yuki. A boy who looked a helluva lot like a girl and made many a man question his sexuality with his feminine looks.

All three of them were hand taught by the Demon of the mist, Zabuza Momochi, wielder of a giant knife sword thing whose name I can never type so I gave up trying. From here on out, the sword is christened thee…Dave, the decapitation sword.

Back on topic, the two members of squad Hunt (Team Zabuza) were house-hopping back to their homes to pack up for a training trip. However the two teammated were talking as they house hopped.

"We finally got nominated Kas! What do you think it will be like? Ooh! Maybe we'll get to meet a fellow swordswomen who's worth a damn!"

* * *

 **Snow country**

"Atchoo!"

"You okay mom?"

"Just peachy dear. I'm out here in the fucking ice and snow…what do you think?"

"That you need to chill."

"…you've been around Luke too much."

* * *

"I mean, when's the last time we've had a challenging opponent?"

Kasumi accidently landed in someone's rooftop garden. "I believe it was…that Aoi fellow? The one with the thunder god sword and no skill?"

A poor unlucky rooftop drunk was used as a springboard. "That guy? No. I believe you just fired a bone drill bullet thingamajig at his throat when he was gloating about how unstoppable he was. Dude pussed out like a bitch after that!" she laughed.

Kasumi just shaked her head at that comment. "Or at least he tried to…"

Terra had a grin plastered on her face. "Ah yes, that's when I stabbed him in both his eyes with a kunai…he was certainly a screamer!" she laughed as a maniacal grin found its way onto he face.

Throughout all of her possibly unhinged partners laughter Kasumi maintained a neutral face. "I believe it was a little while later that you brought out the giant scissors…did you really have to use those? I had to buy an entirely new set of clothes after that…"

A cat was landed on and jumped off of. "Aw c'mon! it only took about five times to cut completely through the slimy bastard! It wasn't that bad!"

"Speaking of Aoi…" Kasumi began. "What the hell happened to the Raijin? "

 ***FLASHBACK***

 _"_ _I wonder what would happen if I used this as fishing bait…" mused Zabuza._

 ***FLASHBACK END***

"I don't know…" Terra mumbled with a frown on her face. And then it became a grin. "But who the hell cares!? We're going on a road trip!"

Kasumi only sighed as her partner began to gush over their training trip. It would probably be a 'murder trip' as their sensei called it. She then pushed those thoughts as they made their way to Terra's apartment so that she could help her partner pack up.

God knows she needs help to pack the things that were absolutely essential.

* * *

 **And finally, Meanwhile in the village hidden in the waterfall.**

The village hidden in the waterfall is an oddity among the ninja world. For one it was an actual _Hidden_ village. Meaning you can't find it on a map or have a crossroad give you directions to it. There is literally a crossroad in fire country with a sign that says 'to Konoha' in case you're wondering. To find it, you would have to find one of the many hidden underwater tunnels that lead to it. Only problem is…theirs only one correct tunnel. And 128 fake ones that will lead you to a gruesome death or trap you so you can drown.

So the other hidden villages decided to just stop giving a fuck and leave them be.

It also unique in that it has powerful tools at its disposal, despite being a minor village. It has such things as:

The jiongu. A semi-sentient symbiotic-like thread thing that grant the user power over its threads, as well as extra hearts to serve as back-up in case the user dies. It can also grant the user the chakra natures of the hearts, and in some cases, bloodlimits. Making it a very powerful tool. Problem is, very few survive the transfer of threads. So it's not something in mass produce. Doesn't mean that they don't have about fifteen ninjas with the jiongu. All A-rank ninja by the way.

Second, the hero's water. A powerful bottle of water that when drank, grants the user a 6 metric fuckton of chakra. Allowing the user to throw A through S-rank ninjutsu around like you would throw starbursts into a crowd of kids going through candy withdrawal. Only downside is the side effects. A drastic shortage in one's lifespan. Then again the average life-span of a ninja isn't really that big to begin with. So go crazy!

And finally there is the village jinchuriki. Yes, a minor village has its own jinchuriki. And not just any biju, the _third_ strongest biju! How the hell did they get the fucken Nanabi!? It mostly has to do with an assassination attempt on Hashirima's life by one, still alive by the way, Taki nuke-nin Kakazu, a jiongu user. Something about Hashirima laughing the whole thing off and giving them a free biju for their trouble. It went something like that. That's my story and I'm sticking with it.

Anyway, the Jinchuriki of the Nanabi's name is Fuu. No last name given. She is an orange eyes, tan skinned, mint-haired female of 13-borderline-14 years. Look up her outfit because I'm not changing it. She has begun to get into the medium range of difficulty of the techniques she could use with the abilities she received from her biju. Namely the dust related jutsu's. She had the flying with the insect wings down pat. It was just the offensive stuff she was having trouble with. And well considering she had devoted most of her time to increasing her skill in other areas…yeah.

She was part of a gennin team that consisted of two other members. A fourteen-year old, light purple, short-haired female by the name of Suu Milkovitch, who wore a simple blue yukata, black sandals and was always fiddling with a pipe that she blew bubbles out of. She had lime-green eyes with no iris, and wore her ninja headband on her forehead.

Fuu's other teammate was a fourteen-year old girl with clear violet eyes, long golden hair, and crescent scarred on her face. On her left cheek, like an imprint. Her name was Luna Palladia. She wore a simple mesh shirt underneath a baggy yellow and purple short sleeve jacket, violet shorts with a belt, simple combat boots, and wore her forehead protector like a hairband. On her back was…rifle in a roman purple sheathe adorned with gold markings.

The three of them were currently skipping rocks, waiting for their teacher to turn in the papers they signed to the village elder. It was Luna that broke the silence.

"You really think that they'll let us go?" she asked her teammates.

"Suu very much thinks so…but with Fuu on the team, Suu thinks that they will try and keep her in the village."

Fuu sighed as she made a rock skip about seven times over the lake. "You might be right…but I want to go so bad! All the other people talk about how dangerous it is!" she whined.

Luna only chuckled at her teammate and friend. "And you just love danger don't you?" she asked with a smirk.

"Of course!" Fuu replied with a smile. "Danger is the heart of adventure! As long as we're stuck in this village we'll never get to live! Adventure is all life's about!" she exclaimed with enthusiasm as she pointed her finger to the heavens.

Suu simply smiled at the scene. "Suu thinks so too. Suu wishes that she and her friends could go outside and have many adventures."

Luna was about to throw in her two cents, but Suu interrupted her. "But Suu thinks that the village elder will not move the stick up his waste hole and will make Suu and her friends not go." She said with a sad frown.

That shut Luna up and made Fuu all dejected. "Way to kill the mood girl…" Fuu muttered.

Suu, realizing her mistake, tried to apologize. "S-suu is sorry she made with the mood killing. But what can Suu do to help?"

Luna shaked her head. "Nothing." Both turned to her as she made a rock skip on the water eight times. "We can do nothing but hope that they will let us go." She said with a sad smile.

It was then that the Taki gennin squad's teacher jumped out through the window of the house that was behind them. Not even scaring the girls due to them completely expecting him to do that. "Good news everybody! Ya'll get to go!" he yelled as he held out the pass forms.

All three girls beamed at him, and in a group effort, hug-strangled him unconscious.

* * *

Kakashi was tacking in his teams appearance as they gathered on the bridge. Naruto, after their mission in taki were ended up helping a the resident jinchuriki and her team squash a rebellion that was trying to get the hero's water, had immediantly gone back to the hidden leaf upon getting paid. When they got back, they found Luke in his teams apartment consoling a crying Athena. For what reason he didn't know. He wasn't going to invade her personal space. If they had a personal problem then they would come to him about it.

The three of them were on the bridge that him and Kushina had sealed the bet about two months ago. Naruto was off to the side looking at Athena worryingly as Luke had an arm draped over her shoulder. She seemed to find his presence on her comforting. He had to smile at that. His team truly did know the value of comrades. But now it was time for business.

"Ahem." He began, getting the attention of his 'cute little gennin' as he liked to call them. "It has come to my attention that you three are an excellent team. A team that is up to my standards."

Pride flashed in the eyes of both sensei, and students at that comment. "You three work amazingly well together. And you three have come quite a ways in the shinobi arts."

All three nodded their heads.

"So I have all recommended you three for the Chunnin exams that will be held in the land of iron."

Shock was all on their faces. Kakashi continued.

"It's going to be a big event. Shinobi from all across the elemental nations will be participating. That means ninja from all the big villages like Suna and Kumo, to minor villages like Sound and Star."

He looked at all of them in the eye. He still had their attention.

"The Chunnin exams are not for the faint of heart. You have to be in it to win it. So let me ask you three…"

Dramatic pause.

"Will you be willing to put your life on the line and show the world just why Konoha is the best? To show the other nation our power? Our teamwork? Our sportsmanship? Well, tell me! ARE YOU WILLING TO FIGHT FOR YOUR COUNTRIES PRIDE!?"

"HELL YES SIR!" came the reply from the three.

He then held out three pieces of paper. "Then sign these pieces of paper. Go back home and pack. We're going to join up with the other Chunnin hopefuls. After a month of straight training. UNDERSTOOD!?"

"Yes sir!" came the chorus as they handed Kakashi their signed papers.

"Dismissed!"

And the three of them Immedianlty disappeared in a Shunshin. Leaving Kakashi along with one thought going through his head.

 _Man I love being a teacher that actually commands respect._

* * *

 **I plan on starting two new fics soon. both are of diferent anime's than Naruto but will have Naruto characters in them.**

 **number one is 'Black flames of the fairy'. a fic were a shinobi born Naruto is transported into earthland with the Mangekyo sharingan techniques of Amaterasu and Susanoo being his magic powers. and only those two. he wont be god like. he will essentially be between natsu levels of power and Erza. and yes, just like in this fic Minato and Kushina will be alive and will try to interfere in earthland to get him back...after his kid sister is born and goes to the chunnin exams.**

 **the other is 'luke'n'crew at the monster school.' its basicly all the OC's in this chapter, plus the namikaze family as vampires, and the konoha twelve as different monsters going to yokai academy. and yes. I am going to make sure that that one is downright hilarious. it will be my comedy gift to all of you (hopefully).**

 **AND THATS ALL SHE WROTE!**

 **CUE THE AIRHORNS!**

 **BABABABWAAAAAAAAA!**


	9. FIRST AND SECOND AND OTHER SHIT!

**First of all, I AM SO VERY SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO DAMN LONG TO GET OUT! AND IM SORRY THAT THIS IS NOT MY BEST WRITING! SCHOOL AND SHIT SUCKS, COLLEGE SUCKS, REAL-LIFE SUCKS! AND FATE/STAY NIGHT IS FUCKING AWSOME!**

 **this chapter is really just a filler chapter. It's not exactly my best, the comedy isn't up some of my older stuff, but I did what I could come up with. Toni pops up in this chapter, and he is an asshole. but a powerful one. I want to make him a douchebag character that everyone both hates for what he does, but loves him for his character. after this, either red swordsman or black flames will be updated. and I may have another story coming down pretty soon. more on that after the chapter. critique me on parts that you people feel I need to improve on, tell me your thoughts in the reviews and enjoy!**

 **I don't own Naruto or Pokémon. but what I used to own was the soul of Liam Neeson and a recess peanut butter cup. I still have the chin arm of chuck Norris though!**

* * *

Chapter Chunnin: the first and second. and other shit

When the Chunnin exams happen, it's usually inside a hidden village. Most of the time its either Kumo or Konoha. These exams tend to bring in a lot of commerce, business opportunities, and all around cause a villages economy to increase exponentially.

They are times of celebration, of challenge. They dare all gennin who enter to go above and beyond the strength they possess. They make gennin see things in different lights. And this one was no different. In fact it was a special occasion.

For once, all five great villages, and a number of lesser villages, have decided to congregate and host the Chunnin exams not in a great village, but in the land of iron itself. The land of iron is a country surrounded by snow, ice, and cold hard steel. It is the home of the samurai in the elemental nations. A place of neutral ground. No war may be declared in iron country, and no one wants to.

All because iron country holds the monopoly on chakra metal. A rare form of metal that allows one to channel chakra through it, and use it for varies useful purposes. It is where the name for iron country came from. Well that and the brand of music Mifune, the samurai general of iron country, created through the use of lightning chakra, and a really awesome bass guitar.

Currently a band made up of Killer Bee, Might Guy, Asuma Sarutobi, and Mifune is in the works.

I'm not joking.

They call themselves the Hurricane.

They already have their first album set to go on record.

Anyway, it is in Iron country that the Chunnin exams are being held. And it is on the road to said country that we find our heroes.

It was a dirt road covered in snow. They had just passed the border patrol, to which they were granted passage after flashing their Chunnin exam passes. All around them was nothing but snow, snow and mountains. They were not the only group to go to the Chunnin exams. Among the Konoha shinobi were teams nine (Guy's squad), and team eleven. What was curious however, was the fact that there were no Jonin sensei's among the Chunnin hopefuls. The reason being, they never showed up to leave. So the gennin left them behind.

Hey, they were on a tight schedule. You would ditch them too.

The land of iron was a mountainous region. Great rocky spires and lumps of earth were covered in snow. Wildlife was scarce, and pine trees adorned the hilly landscape. It reminded team eleven and Luke very much of snow country.

Konoha registered twenty squads for the Chunnin exams. Sixty gennin in total. Only five of those teams actually ditched their jonin sensei's. Well the ones that had jonin sensei's did. A lot of the gennin had Chunnin instructors or were inducted into apprenticeships.

The gennin were in a formation as they walked down the well-travelled snowy road. At the front was team nine. Acting as the headlights/eyes and ears. At the back was team eleven, acting as the quick response as they watched the large groups' six. In the middle was TEAM SEVEN who were a mix-and-match among ninja specialties. Heading back and forth between the three groups were the other two nameless gennin squads that were acting as messengers for the three teams.

They encountered a few bandits and brigands. Even a few rouge ninja…that were obviously not even trying to kill them. If the fact that they were simply toying with the group and putting up a sufficient challenge to test them were any indication.

Athena, the smartest of the lot of them (when it comes to deduction skills. Sakura is the most knowledgeable of all the gennin.) Deduced that the journey was the first exam. From the fact that their jonin teachers never showed up, to the constant attacks the moment they got into Iron country, the nation of _Samurai_ , they were attacked by bandits and rouge ninja that weren't trying to actually kill them, but did run them through the ringer.

Turns out she was right. The moment that they arrived at the cold iron gates of the land of Iron's capital, twenty jonin shinobi appeared out of nowhere, surrounding them. They never congratulated them. They simply gave them the next set of directions for the next exam.

Kakashi walked up to the group and levelled a stare at all of them. "The first exam is over. To pass the second exam you must find and interrogate a shinobi that is hiding in this village behind me," he pointed with his thumb to the cold iron gates that towered over all of them, "And get them to tell you the location of were the 'steel is the coldest'. The second exam begins…now."

And like that all of the jonin disappeared in a **Shunshin**. The first group to react was Guy's team, who sprang into action the quickest due to their experience. With a cry of "YOUUUUUTH!" from lee, and a "The flames of Destiny shall guide my hand!" from Neji.

Tenten kinda just gave off a barbaric screech of rage.

They all jumped over the iron gates. Nobody uses doors in this universe don't they?

Team eleven followed along after guy's team. With flames of determination in Aiko's eyes, she said one declaration, "I will get there before you, you bastard!" and she pointed a finger at Luke as she said that. Luke's response was to simply pull out a copy of Icha icha, and pull a Kakashi.

"Hm? Did you say something?" he deadpanned without even taking his eyes off his book.

Aiko flipped him the bird and jumped over the walls. Sasuke just flashed TEAM SEVEN a slasher smile as he followed the Namikaze. And Sakura simply sighed in resignation as she followed her teammates. Although she ran up the walls unlike the other of her two teammates who packed enough chakra in their bodies to do a super-chakra enhanced boost jump.

The other two nameless teams checked in through the cold hard steel doors that were as tall as three houses. Leaving TEAM SEVEN behind as they ALL read a few chapters in icha icha. The Samurai gatekeepers simply pulled out a book titled 'Bushido in the Bedroom.' And they too began to read.

After a while Naruto just walked up to the gatekeeper's nonchalantly. He did what you expected to happen. "Hey guys, help a brotha out and do you mind telling me were you guys mine the coldest steel in iron country?" he asked without even taking his eyes off his book.

"You see that huge ass mountain over in the east?"

"The one that has a bunch of Samurai guarding it?"

"Yeah that's the one."

"Thanks man. Don't hesitate to come down to the leaf village and pay a visit to Uzumaki Naruto. I owe you one."

"No problem man. Anything for a fellow connoisseur of women."

"True dat. Have a good day my fine brothers." And with that, the blonde waterbender walked off and began to talk with his teammates. While the two gatekeepers had their own small conversation.

"What a nice guy. And he had the decency to ask us politely."

"Yeah, normally we don't get people like that. And they all read icha icha, the only book that lord Masamune declares as being equal to his work."

The green haired, chest horned female swordsman of TEAM SEVEN took in the information with an Analytical thought process. "So they have the second exam set up as search and interrogate/infiltration mission. A lot harder than the average second exam of a Chunnin exam."

Luke turned a page. "I can feel it in the snow. The patrol routes constantly change and theirs a few sensors in that lot of Samurai. Any ideas Naruto?"

Naruto put away his book, memorizing the page he was on. And then adopted a thinking look before a light bulb pooped into existence above his head. "Can't we just fly over there? It's not like they have anything that will shoot us out…"

Luke paused. Put his book away. And then slammed his open palm into the ground. In a poof of smoke, Articuno and Gamma appeared. Funnily enough, Articuno was sunbathing with one of them foldy thingies and was lying down on a beach chair. Parasol included.

Gamma knocked the foldy thing out of the legandary bird's hands and took its cold as all hell glare like a boss before going over to Naruto and Athena, tilting down as if to invite them to ride him.

Articuno simply glared at its summoner, before huffing and turning its back to Luke. All three of them climbed onto their respective rides. Naruto and Athena on Gamma and Luke on Articuno. The ice bird wouldn't settle for anything besides its contracted summoner flying the skies with it.

And so, TEAM SEVEN flied on over to the giant mountain that reached up to the clouds. And all throughout this, Athena never put away her icha icha.

* * *

The location of 'where the coldest steel is' was in fact, not the center of the mountain, in an underground tunnel system. It was in fact, built into the side of the mountain. Near the peak of the mountain in fact.

The mountain was covered in snow. It was a rocky place, with steep edges, pitfalls, crevices, and ice infested cracks in the cold earth. Snaking its way around the entirety of the base, and going in a spiral formation towards the peak was a stone staircase. Up and down this staircase patrolled Samurai. But near the peak, was a temple like structure. The entrance into the cold mountain was a flat stone ceiling held up by stone pillars. It was a temple built into the mountain.

It was into the large entryway of the temple that two birds flew into. One of ice and one of flame. Gamma and Articuno gracefully glided onto the cold surface of the stone slabs that made up the flooring.

The mountains name was Mount Zaleho. A place for people to journey with their comrades, and to fight their comrades with honor, to see just who is the strongest.

Did I mention that the journey up the mountain was at least two days long even with chakra? Yes, it's above the clouds. In fact, it's almost above the atmosphere.

It's why Luke and crew were surprised to see two other teams staring each other down in the temple. The first was a Suna team that consisted of a cloaked dude, a girl in a white battle dress with orange hair, and a guy that looked…incredibly ordinary. In fact, he was so ordinary that Luke had trouble even realizing that the guy existed.

He had brown hair, a completely standard face that was ordinary, he wore brown shinobi clothes…everything about him just screamed 'I'm an individual who is quite literally forgotten even by my mother'. He was just that…ordinary. He was so damn ordinary, that he seamlessly blended into anything. And that completely terrified Luke.

The second group was a…star village group? The first guy had this ghastly appearance and not the Pokémon kind. He just looked…unnatural. The other guy was this dude completely decked out in a European knight armor. Black as night, and as captivating as the inky blackness itself. The last guy was Sumaru from the star village arc. Luke at least realized that.

' ** _Registeel…Darkrai…the immortal golem of the tempered earth…and the despairing king of a bygone age…watch yourself around those two Luke…they have the power to kill you even if we synch up…_** ' spoke the ice dragon sealed into the altered hyoton user.

Luke narrowed his eyes at the two other Pokémon Jinchuriki. These were deadly opponents if Kyreum's tales of the two legandary Pokémons prowess was to be believed. Out of the corner of his eye, Luke noted that Athena had her katana slightly unsheathed as she looked to both the ghastly looking teen, and the cloaked guy.

Her face was contorted into rage. Something Luke did not expect to see.

"Dusknoir…Absol…" she growled out. Killer intent buzzing throughout the air as the atmosphere became charged with tension.

Vio Kresnik, the partner of Arthur Almia, drew out a pair of spiked brass knuckles and got into a fighting position. "Gardevior…such a pleasure to meet with one of your kind once again…" the ghastly teen sneered out.

The Absol moved closer to his partner as he clutched a pair of daggers in his hands as he crouched low, ready to pounce for any given signal. "I was right…this will be a bloodbath like no other…" the cloaked gennin whispered.

Rias Sabaku chuckled as a blade whip was unsealed from a seal in her finger into her hand. She gave the whip a good crack before settling into a relaxed, but battle ready stance. "Things are certainly getting interesting aren't they Leo? I certainly didn't expect to see Kyreum sealed into anyone…"

Arthur Almia, the one wearing the knight armor, folded his arms into an arrogant pose. As if to say 'you are beneath me'. "It would seem that the competition just got a lot more interesting…what do you think Vio?"

The human Dusknoir sneered at the partner of Luke. "As long as I get to kill her I'm fine…her kind of done too much to mine to ever be forgiven…and I will have her blood on my hands by the end of this exam!" he all but shouted out.

Athena narrowed her eyes at the Reaper Pokémon. "And to think that my kind once considered your people to be a necessity…all you ghosts do is backstab and take souls!" she growled out as a **Shadow Ball** formed in her hand, the one not slowly unsheathing her Katana.

"Such a long and bloody history behind the Gardevior and Dusknoir families…and no one knows who started it all…" muttered the human Absol. "…Not that my kind did anything to improve it…all we did was sell out our prerogative abilities to the highest bidder…"

Luke put his hand on Athena's shoulder. "Calm down Athena. Fighting right now will get us nowhere…" he tried to reason. But it was to no avail.

"They betrayed my people Luke! And while most of my family line might be a forgiving lot, I AM NOT!" she shouted as she threw off his hand and fully unsheathed her blade, a pink of aura of power materializing around her as he left eye became a lime green and obtained a swirly design in it.

Around Vio, a black and purple aura of power came into being. An aura of spirituality that radiated the essence of the spirit realm. "So you allow a Spiritomb to meld into your spirit, enabling you heightened psychic and ghost abilities…and a hundred and six souls into your mind, granting them permission to mess with your thoughts…foolish." The Kresnik sneered as he channeled chakra into his brass knuckles, giving them enhanced spiking abilities.

Luke was about to bring out an ice claymore, but was interrupted. "Hey guys! Are ya'll gonna spill some blood without little me in there to enjoy it?" and in walked a girl with curly pink hair and the Kiba blades strapped to her back, a Kaguya with a red triangle on her forehead as well as having the biggest bust out of everyone present, and the third member of the mist trio: Haku Yuki.

Everyone present tensed. While Naruto, Sumaru, and Naoki (the very kellam-like Suna gennin) decided that they should probably leave now before they get any more involved in the fight that was about to happen. And so the three of them walked deeper into the temple, bonding all along the way. With Naruto pulling out a deck of 'cards against humanity'.

Leo shivered. "A Lopunny…shit. And a psychopathic one too…" he muttered.

"Latias." Rias stated. Perfectly at calm amongst all the tension in the air as she waved her whip out in a whimsical manner. Playfully swinging it around, but not hitting anyone in the area.

Arthur chose that moment to speak up. "The Red Dragon of the Protectorate…" he murmured, but everyone caught it.

And Luke finished for him. "And the sister to the Dutiful Blue Dragon. It's a fuckin' family reunion isn't it?" he chuckled.

Haku decided that he too would join the other three guys who went deeper into the temple. That card game sounded like a fun one.

Terra Greaver, the Lopunny, glared at the Dusknoir with contempt. "Oh? A Dusknoir eh? Well, I guess its time I honored the partnership my family has and take out your undead ass." The wielder of the Kiba blades stated with a small glance of acknowledgement to the Gardevior that had drawn a blade. "And it seems that the girl knows what to use when murdering the fools retarded enough to get in her way too…I like this girl!" she stated with a psychopathic grin as she brandished the Kiba blades, lightning sparking between the two swords.

The Dusknoir glared at the Lopunny, but made no comment.

The Kaguya sighed and rubbed her head…and then reached back to her spine, and ribbed (eh? Get it?) It out to use it as a whip sword. All without ripping her clothes apart. Kaguya clan secret.

By now, everyone was in a circle formation, each person facing another. Kasumi Kaguya, partner of Terra Greaver, was staring as Rias Sabaku; both had whip swords at the ready. Luke was staring at Arthur, assessing him as the greatest threat out of everyone present. Arthur was in turn, staring at him. Believing that Luke, as the host of Kyreum, was the strongest out of all of them.

Athena was glaring at Vio, and Vio was outright growling at Athena in response. The history between the two Pokémons species was an ancient one that was once painted with a sparkling blue, was now covered in red. And had been for many centuries.

The Lopunny was carving her swords together, as she grinned maliciously at the Absol. Said cloaked Absol was being overcome with a sense of dread as his disaster sense was going haywire in the presence of the Lopunny. So he assessed her as the biggest threat and completely focused on her. Preparing to cast a future sight. Which would in-turn; give the unspoken signal to end the Mexican standoff.

"What the hell are you people doing!? This is a sacred spot! No fighting allowed in this location unless you took upon the pilgrimage!" boomed an old Samurai that exuded an aura of power and authority. He had come in the direction that Haku, Naruto, Sumaru, and Naoki went off to.

Fucking tattletales.

Everyone present stopped. Wordlessly they all grouped back up into their respective teams, and went their own way. Giving glares and such to each other as they all wlkaed deeper into the temple.

One thing was for sure though…old rivalries and new ones are going to come to a close when the third exam rolls around…in a month and seven days.

It would be one day later that the jonin teachers would show up at the temple. A lot of them were outright spooked that there were already four teams at the temple. However, four particular jonin sensei's were wearing grins when they saw their respective teams.

As it turns out, Zabuza and Kakashi became drinking buddies overnight, and was declared an 'Eternal Rival' of Guy's.

He was Immedianlty baptized in the fires of youth in the form of a challenge from Guy.

Sumo wrestling with inflatable spandex suits on top of a giant boxing ring over a Jell-O bowl.

Yes it was as awesome as it was hilarious. Who knew that Zabuza knew how to do a German suplex?

Regardless, Natsuhi and Joseph trail hit it off like nothing else. You wouldn't expect something like that to happen. What with Joseph being a drunkard that could kick your ass, and Natsuhi being a high A-class kunoichi with a penchant to abhor the shinobi vices. But, the two met in the capitals most expensive bar, and as it turns out; joseph is quite the gentleman. Treating the widow with respect and paying for all the drinks that the two had.

If the lipstick that's still on his cheek is any indication, then the two will probably be seeing each other a lot more in the future.

Kakashi had the brightest eye-smile on his face when he saw that his team was the third one to make it to the temple. He gave his team one hell of a hug, and Kushina ended up slipping him some cash from her wallet, due to yet another bet that she both made, and lost.

The teams made an effort to never get near another, not wanting a repeat of the first day. As it turns out, there was a time limit in how fast they had to get to the temple. After five days had passed after the beginning of the second exam, which the konoha crew appeared just in time for, then the remaining teams would be disqualified. It was on the second day that a team from Taki made its appearance, and then the next day a team from Kumo appeared. Followed by team Guy. On the fourth day, team eleven appeared on the scene. And on the final day, a team from Iwa came onto the scene, a team from sound, a team from the land of sky, a snow team, a Suna team, another cloud team, and another iwa team.

In the end the amount of teams went like this.

Leaf: three.

Sand: two.

Rock: two.

Cloud: two.

Mist: one.

Waterfall: one.

Sound: one.

Sky: one.

And Snow: one.

All on all, fourteen teams were gathered for the third exams of the Chunnin exams. It was decided that the teams and jonins would spend one more night at the temple before hearing how the third exam was going to work. It would be after that announcement that everyone would head on back to the capital of Iron country to restock before heading back to their home villages for a month of training.

* * *

 _Drip…_

 _Drip…_

 _Splitter splatter…_

 _Click…hiss…_

 _Crackle…fizzle…_

 _CLANG! CLANG!_

 _Hmmm…_

Luke stared at the imposing form of the ice dragon Kyreum. From the ice armor that decorated its grey body, to the glowing yellow eyes of his tenant. The multitude of sounds that resounded throughout his mindscape being ignored by the ice user.

Luke's mindscape was a very different one from Naruto and Aiko's. Luke's mindscape was a cave. A frigid lake cave to be exact. Situated in a large lake was a small mass of land, around that small mass was frost and snow. connected to the mass of land was a small road of crystal that went from the entrance of the mindscape, to the mass of land. Around the lake, stalactites and stalagmites decorated the floor and ceiling.

On the mass of land stood Luke and Kyreum. The both of them staring into one another's eyes.

"What is it that you want Kyreum?" asked Luke, his tone professional and business like. That was always how he talked to the ice dragon. There was no playfulness, no cheer. Just cold professionalism.

Before Luke could even blink, the mindscape changed. Gone was the cold cavern that Kyreum called home. In its place was an endless void. They were not floating in nothingness, but they were standing on a watery surface. The ground illuminated by a celestial object above the two.

"It would seem we are not the only ones here…" spoke a voice from behind Luke. Turning around, he saw the approaching from of Rias Sabaku…and a certain Iron Golem that was behind her.

Luke raised an eyebrow. "You too? Please don't tell me that all of them are here…"

Luke's fears ringed true.

"What do you mean by 'All of them'? I thought I was the only one. You mean that there are more of people like me?" asked a voice from behind Luke.

Recognition washed over Rias's face as Luke turned around again to see who had spoken up. Rias simply pointed at the person who spoke. "You're that team from the one minor village that has a shitton of kinjutsu aren't you?"

Luke watched the Blonde girl with the weird crescent moon birthmark sigh. "Why is it that all we are known for is the hero's water and Jiongu…we don't even have the heroes water anymore…?" she muttered. However Luke wasn't paying attention to what she had said. He was gaping at the thing that was on her back.

"IM SORRY BUT IS THAT A RIFLE!?" he shouted. The blonde girl winced but Rias didn't. (Soundproof).

The girl rubbed her ears as Luke continued to point at the rifle in an exaggerated manner as he went all bug-eyed. "Yes it's a rifle, how is it such a big deal?" she responded with a glare.

A slightly raspy voice answered. "It's because most of us use swords and other close range weaponry…we don't use guns, and nor have we seen one since we were born. You should know this fact as well Dream Weaver." Everyone present turned to see Arthur Almia walk towards them in his armor as a ghost like floating rag thing with a clear crystal blue eye followed him.

It should be specially noted that the eye of Darkrai was of a shade of blue that sparkled with such a clear light that shinned like nothing before it.

The blonde girls' eyes widened when she saw the tattered form of Darkrai. She whispered three words as if in a trance. "Lord of Nightmares…"

The moment those words were uttered a gold, pink, and purple form floated down from the celestial body above. The figure was not alone however. Accompanying it was a red and white dragon. Its wings that jutted from its back giving it the appearance of a jet plane. Riding on the red and white eon dragon was none other than Kasumi Kaguya.

Crescelia, the gold one, floated over to the blonde girl as the eon Pokémon landed and allowed Kasumi to disembark. There was a tense silence were no one spoke anything as everyone just took in the people around them.

The shared mindscape changed to accommodate everyone present. The area was split into a pentagon like shape. With each person's area having an equal amount of space compared to one another. For Luke, his part became a snowfield with a misty peak WAY behind him.

For Rias it was a volcanic looking crag with molten metal flowing everywhere. It didn't seem like she was bothered by the heat.

For Kasumi, it became a city of water, with water fountains, flowing rivers and passengers with no faces on boats going to and fro in the background, with her standing on a bridge that connected hers to Arthur and Rias, who she was in between.

Arthur sat on a throne in a frozen castle that had seen better days. The one thing that stood out from the picture was the giant floating black crystal behind him.

And finally, for Luna Palladia, the blonde girl, her mindscape representation became a forest clearing. With the main attraction being the crescent moon symbol on it. With the crescent part being made up of a flower bed, and the rest of the moon being a small pond that she stood in the center of.

Each person's respective Pokémon tenant was either standing behind them, floating above them, or standing/flying by their side.

Well the exception seemed to be the Latias. It was…cowering shyly behind Kasumi?

Finally, Kasumi decided that she would be the one to start the conversation. She leaned forward and put her hands on the stone railing of the bridge she was on, "I believe an introduction from all of us is in order correct? We all know who the Pokémon are…so allow us humans to introduce ourselves."

Everyone nodded at that. It was a way to start a conversation. And they kinda needed something to talk about. Any longer and the previous silence would have become an awkward silence.

Kasumi straightened her back and pointed to herself. "My name is Kasumi Kaguya. I adhere to the hidden mist village. I am a member of squad hunt, led by Zabuza Momochi of the seven ninja swordsmen. My skillset includes using my Kenkai Genkai, the dead bone pulse, using attacks of draconian Nature, and my specialty lies in Genjutsu."

Everyone took the information in. filing it away to better prepare for it should they ever face her.

Rias took a step forward. "I'll go next." She spoke with a hint of dry boredom. "My name is Rias Sabaku. I belong to a gennin squad led by the sand jonin Joseph trail-"

Luke interrupted. "Hold on? Joseph Trail? The wind genie? If he's your jonin sensei, then why isn't he here…?"

Rias fixed him with a look. "And why would he be here? It's not like he's one of us."

Luke looked pensive at that. His face narrowed in confusion. "But I thought…I thought that he had Windorus in him…"

Arthur scoffed, which sounded weird when it came out of his helmet. "Don't be foolish…if he was in fact one of us, then shouldn't he be here alongside us?" he questioned to Luke.

When Arthur saw the downcast look on the ice users face he nodded to Rias. "Continue."

Rias flashed him a smirk. "Right, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted…" she casted a disproving glare towards Luke. "My skillset includes being a weapons mistress, being adept at wind jutsu, and created a whole 'nother way to use the magnet release bloodline."

The blonde girl of the group looked at her oddly. "What do you mean you invented another way to use your clan's bloodline abilities?"

Surprisingly enough, it was Darkrai who spoke up. The first Pokémon to speak up out of all present.

" ** _She has metal stitched into her clothing…wires locked around her form...I would hazard a guess and say that you use Ninja wire in conjunction with your weapons and bloodline to control them in the air and soak the battlefield in blood no?_** " spoke the Nightmare bringer. A narrowed eye being his only sign that he had focused his attention on the redheaded girl.

Rias's eye widened at hearing that. She glared at the nightmare king, but didn't say anything else. Caring not to give any more information about her abilities. Which kinda worked in a way. She didn't confirm, nor deny the Pokémons accusation. However, her actions did confirm that Darkrai was close in his guess.

Luke coughed and brought everyone's attention on to him. He looked around for a bit to see that he had all the eyes and ears. He gave everyone a cheeky grin before saluting. "My name is Luke Unova an-"

"Your last name sounds made-up." Deadpanned Kasumi with her trademark blank face. Interrupting Luke in the process. Said person began to start up again. "Like I said, my name is Luke Unova and m-"

"See? I told you Darkrai, I'm not the only one named after a region." Interrupted Arthur. Luke sent a glare at the knight in armor before trying to start up again. This time he looked at everyone again before starting. "My name is Luke Unova and my sk-"

"Wait, you're named after a region?" interrupted Luna as she looked at Arthur. Said knight simply sighed from inside his helmet. Again, sounding really weird. It kinda sounded like he was breathing into a magic conch shell.

"I'm named after the Almia region. You know, the one with only rangers and no trainers?" he answered, oblivious to Luke's twitching left eye.

A lightbulb appeared above Luna's head, literally, and she slammed her fist into her open palm. "Oh! Now I know the region you're talking about…did you say something Luke?" she asked in genuine curiosity as she sent the twitching Luke a confused look.

Said person simply sighed. "You people are assholes…" he muttered under his breath. He then cleared his throat. "My name is Luke Unova and my skillset is-"

"Does the Almia region have any trainers at all?" inquired Rias.

"ARCEUS FUCKING DAMNIT!"

" ** _HEY!_** "

Ignoring Luke's outburst, Arthur answered her question. "No, it does not. It only has Pokémon Rangers. It is one of those 'no trainers allowed' kind of places."

"I. hate. All of you."

Everyone present, sans Registeel and Kyreum, snickered at Luke.

"All of my hate…all of it…" he muttered. Luna just laughed at him. "You can start up your introduction now Luke Unova." She stated with a smirk.

Luke simply glared at her before starting up once again. "My name is Luke Unova…" he looked around. Staring at each and every one of them. "I am a gennin of TEAM SEVEN lead by Kakashi Hatake. My skillset includes: Summoning, my own style of ice release…and that's about it."

Everyone looked at him oddly. "Wait, that's it?" Luna questioned.

"Yep."

"But…that's so little variety!"

"Meh, don't need much else."

Luna's eye twitched.

Luke gave her an odd look. "What? I got something on my badass face?"

The host of the dream weaver simply sighed. "No. nothing's wrong it's just…you're not very capable of adapting to a situation aren't you?"

Luke continued to have the face of a confused child. "I'm not following you…"

It seemed that Luna was about to go on a tirade of how variety can help any ninja, but she was stopped by Arthur. "If the fool doesn't want to prepare then do not waste your time and ours on a matter so trivial as this. We don't have all day to do this." Impatience flooding his tone.

It got everyone back on track. Arthur stood up from his throne. "My name is Arthur Almia. I am the lead Gennin of the Orion squad lead by the jonin Natsuhi. My area of experience involves the art of genjutsu, taijutsu, dark-type techniques, and connecting the reality of this world to the subconscious."

Most of everyone in the room had confused expressions on their faces. Well the humans did, except for Luna. She was giving Arthur a clear look of disbelief. Luke turned to give a questioning glance to Kyreum, but the ice dragon simply turned its head in the direction of Crescelia.

Said Pokémon gave an appraising gaze to the knight in armor. This went on for a minute until the psychic Pokémon raised its head in approval. " ** _It would seem that he has indeed managed to achieve such a state…you have trained him well Darkrai._** " It spoke. Its voice like that of an echo, but at the same time soothing.

Darkrai seemed to have a smug prick look on its face.

Kasumi fixed a bland look at the dream weaver. "Care to explain what it is that you're talking about?" she asked blandly. Her elbow leaning on the bridge rail in front of her with her chin lazing on her hand.

Crescelia simply raised its head, the attention of everyone in the room upon her. " ** _The world of dreams is an entirely separate realm from this one. Created by the subconscious of everyone that breathes, it is a world where our most secluded thoughts are mixed in with the others of the many. If one is able to stand in both worlds, having half their mind in the subconscious, then they would achieve a state that is very much akin to this worlds 'sage mode'._** " The giver of good dreams explained.

Rias gave a skeptical look to the dream legandary. "There has got to be a drawback to something like that…care to explain?" she asked with a smile.

Said smile was entirely fake.

" ** _Naturally such a state of mind would have some drawbacks and limitations. But I would be…spoiling things if I explained too much._** " The legandary answered in a…playful tone?

Rias scowled. "Damn…was hoping she would be stupid enough to give away more information." She muttered.

Luke raised an eyebrow at the statement. It's not exactly a good idea to antagonize a legandary Pokémon whose domain is dreams and the subconscious…when you're in a shared mindscape. Shaking his head, he clapped his hands. Drawing the attention onto him.

"While that is entirely interesting and all…should we get a move on? You, blondey, next."

Said blondey bristled at him before rubbing her hand onto her head. She then straightened her back and addressed the crowd. "My name is Luna Palladia. I am a gennin of Taki and I am a member of the waterfalls team with 'the most potential' as the higher ups like to say. I specialize in long-range combat with my girl Shelia here," she whipped out her hunting rifle and rubbed the shaft while smiling like a lunatic, "as well as genjutsu and fairy type techniques."

Arthur gave her an appraising look, not that anyone could see it because of his helmet. He simply nodded to her before his…throne sinked into the cobblestone floor of his mindscape part. The castle area of the five-piece shared mindscape then dissipated until there was not but an abyss in its place.

Luke and everyone else raised an eyebrow at that. Except for Rias. She just giggled. "Well…the bastard just stayed for the free information. Douche." Luke blandly stated.

Rias agreed. "I know right!? The jerk didn't even say bye-bye! Or Night-Night!"

Kasumi fixed her seemingly permanent blank look onto Luke. "It's the reason why we all stayed here. Free info on our possible opponents." And with that statement, she turned around and jumped onto the back of Latias. The two flew away.

"Huh," Luke deadpanned. "Hey Rias-" she was already gone. The two girls respective parts of the pentagon mindscape already nothing but darkness.

The only boy in the area sighed. "Well…how about you Lun…oh come on!"

She had flied off into the blackness on the back of Crescelia.

" **Let us depart Luke…we do not want any more people listening in on us do we?** " spoke the legandary leftover husk.

The boy sighed…and sagged as a raincloud appeared above his head. "Yeah…let's go."

And with that, the last person (and Pokémon) in the shared mindscape left the hub…

…

…

"Wait, they knew that knew that me, the rappin' killer bee, was in this house?"

" **Yes, they knew ya fool. How could they not, when there were two people that specialized in dream manipulation? I swear, sometimes I wish that I was put into someone else besides a rapping fool…** "

"Hey hey hey, yo, there ain't nothin' wrong with me an my rap! If ya got a problem then I put ya in a trap! And to get ya ass out, ya gonna need a map! And if ya get outa that, then your gonna be put in a sack! That's me! The rappin' killer bee!

" **For the love of all things holy…someone kill me.** "

* * *

The next day, all the gathered teams had delivered themselves to the temple entrance. It was wide enough to accommodate all 42 gennin plus the jonin sanseis and then some. The attention of all present was on one individual.

He had orange spiky hair, with light gray bangs jutting out like horns; he wore a gray jacket with the footprint of Heatran on the back of it over an orange shirt. Upon his feet were combat boots with steel imbedded into them, silver anklets, and he wore bone pattered silver bracelets on his wrists. His pants were of the shinobi black kind. But it was his eyes that would send the fear of Arceus into his enemy's soul.

Red eyes. Blood red. Like the lava that he would command to incarcerate the insides of his enemies. They burned with a hatred unlike any other. The kind of hate that blossoms from loss, and is feeded by those around it. The eyes are a window to the soul. And a thirst, a desperate thirst for revenge reflected in those red mirrors.

The sixteen-borderline-seventeen-year old Chunnin's name was Toni Yamaguchi. An A-ranked Chunnin of Iwa. He is one of the most dangerous shinobi that Iwa has.

Lava release, steel release, fire and earth, and blood so that was so hot, it could literally melt your face off. A dangerous combination to be sure. But he did have one noticeable flaw.

He had a short temper. And very little control over it. He was hot blooded, both figuratively and literally. He loved to fight. But the moment you bring up the hidden leaf…let's just say the guys with steel beams jutting out of their persons should give you all the reason not to.

Murderer, monster, psychopath, comrade, partner, and protector. All of them tittles that described him. And with reason too. His hatred of konoha was as great as many others in iwa. If not more so. The death of his parents by the hands of leaf shinobi in front of his very eyes caused that change in him. From sweet little boy, to unrelenting monster in second.

He is also quite possibly, the rudest person on the planet. Has the mouth of a sailor, and no respect towards authority.

Nobody to nightmare. That was the story of Toni's ascension to the bingo book. Although he did care for one person above all others.

Ayumu Agano, who stood behind Toni. He wore a black jumpsuit with Claydol symbols on the front, back, ankles, and wrists of the jumpsuit. The only other thing besides his Iwa headband that he wore was his black shinobi sandals. Holstered around a belt on his back were two oversized Kunai in an X shape due to their holster. He was fifteen years old.

The teenager's eyes were a hooded pink, and his black hair was in the shape of a cone. Much like that of a Claydol.

Toni Yamaguchi and Ayumu Agano. The two of them were inseparable. Partners in every sense of the word.

And they were the proctors of the third exam.

"Alright you fresh meat!" he yelled out. The attention of all upon his stern glare. "I really don't give a shit about formalities, so none of that BULLSHIT!"

The respect he had among the many gennin went up a few notches from that statement alone.

"I don't care about any of you, but I'm supposed to explain this bullcrap so listen up! Ayumu, take it away!"

The fifteen year old gave a curt nod to his partner. Completely used to his disrespect of all things. He stepped forward and held up a chart. "The third exam is going to be a tournament in front of all the Daimyo's, Kage's, lords and ladies of the pretty much every single hidden village and providence."

He paused to let that statement sink in. judging by the nervous looks on some of the gathered forty-two gennin, then Ayumu continued on.

"The way the tournament will work is rather unique. The first round of the battles will be a three on three team battle. A team Deathmatch in essence. After the first round of battles, when all gennin have fought, the winners will move onto round two. For round two, each team will choose one person to take part in a smaller scale single battle elimination tournament. This will determine third place. The remaining two members of the respective teams will compete in a two on two dual. Again, the winners will move on and split once again. Another single battle tournament will take place to determine second place. The final tournament will be a one on one to determine the village that will take home the title of Chunnin exam victor. Any questions?"

A snow gennin in chakra armor raised his hand. "Will the battle be back to back?"

Toni snorted. "Hell no. that would be stupid and a waste. Each round will have a day in between shit for brains. That way more people can spend money and shit on merchandise, agreements between the villages can be made, and other political bullcrap." Was the eloquent reply from the demonic looking Chunnin.

The snow gennin wilted like a flower under the heart of the mountains glare.

Ayumu cleared his throat. "While normally we would tell you people which teams will fight which…that would give you time to prepare. You're going to be judged in front of the world. Shinobi are supposed to be able to adapt to any mission. So we will be testing your ability to adapt to an unfavorable situation. You will not be able to find out which team will fight until the day that the tournament will roll around."

There were some squeaks from the crowd. They were ignored. "You will have one month of training. Do not waste it. Thirty-three days from now, the tournament will start. Prepare like you are going to fight for your life at your execution. Deaths do happen during these things."

In the crowd, a certain Sabaku grinned like a madmen. A knight sighed impassively. A Kaguya stared blankly. A Taki Nin flinched slightly. And a member of TEAM SEVEN scratched his butt.

"This is a big event. Never before has there been a Chunnin exam of this size and scale. Do not disappoint the judges. Your village's financial future may very well depend on it."

Many of the people in the crowd had gaunt faces at that statement. Nervous looks went back and forth amongst the throes of people.

"And now a special message from Toni."

Ayumu stepped back and Toni stepped forward.

"Do. Not. Fuck. Up. You. Little. Shits. It has been stated a crapton of times, but this is a big event. The biggest motherfucking thing in a fuckton of years. This goes to all of you, but especially you two squads from the motherland! I'm not supposed to play favorites…but you had better show up those tree shitting bastards!"

Kushina hit him in the back of the head. Receiving a rather fierce glare from Toni who had to actually restrain himself from trying to burn the Uzumaki from the inside out as slowly and painfully as possible. The woman gave him a glare and a snarl in return.

Toni straightened himself. "The event is a giant ass festival that is going to go on for three fucking days. So bring the festival stuff that people with iron poles shoved up their asses have. Look nice; represent your country to the best of your abilities and all that other patriotic bullshit. People want to see blood. And they will. So bring you're A-game to the tournament. That's all you bitches! Now get the hell out of here!"

* * *

Minato looked at the three jonin sensei's in his office. They were the only ones who gennin squads managed to pass…of the twenty that signed up.

His wife and love of his life, Kushina Uzumaki. Jonin sensei of team eleven. Its members consist of Sakura Haruno, an aspiring genjutsu mistress and medic Nin. Sasuke Uchiha, the uchiha heir and philosophy confused boy. And his Daughter and joy of his life, Aiko Namikaze-Uzumaki, a striving kenjutsu and seal mistress as well as the Kyubi jinchuriki.

 _Not for long…_ he thought to himself. He had a plan…he just needed to iron out a few details before he out it into action. If he managed to succeed, then his daughter would have an alternate source of power besides the Kyubi's chakra…and she wouldn't need to deal with the foxes hatred.

Next in line, Might Guy. Konoha's taijutsu master and a kage level shinobi…if he uses the eight gates. His students were Rock Lee, an aspiring taijutsu master and a mini-clone of Guy. Hyuga Neji, the prodigy of the branch house, and a formerly fate obsessed prick. Oh he still believes in fate, but due to Guy's…fashion sense and overall weirdness, the boy has begun to throw away his faith in the inevitable. The jonin's third student is Tenten Higarashi, an aspiring weapons mistress…and a teenager that can make spandex look GOOD.

A freaky team, but an effective team nonetheless.

And finally, the most promising gennin team led by Minato's last remaining student, Kakashi Hatake, the son of the White Fang. Kakashi's students were Luke Unova, a skilled gennin versatile in his use of ice and his unique summons. Athena Pantheon, a powerful in mind and spirit gennin that is skilled in Kenjutsu. And finally, his disowned, but not unloved son, Naruto Uzumaki, a gennin skilled in the art of water manipulation and ninjutsu.

All of them promising gennin that were going to be fighting in the massive tournament in thirty-one days' time. All of them were going to be training for a month. But first, he needed an evaluation from each of the jonin on both their performance the second and first exams, as well as the training pan for the respective gennin.

"Well, let's start with you honey. What happened out there in iron country?" he asked with a smile as he sipped the first sip of the 138th cup of coffee he was going to have for the day.

Kushina's cheerful face became serious instantly. "To start, our daughter has retrieved some interesting information concerning an ice using gennin we all know…"

Minato just knew that today was going to be interesting. He just didn't know how.

* * *

 **Toni hates Konoha so much that he couldn't resist taking a shot at them during his little spiel.**

 **Recently I have gotten back into Digimon. after frontier I kinda left the series.**

 **and then I watched Digimon savers.**

 **holy fucking shit. best series EVAH!**

 **THE GUY GOES AROUND PUNCHING MEGA LEVEL DIGIMON IN THE FACE! THAT UNFLINCHING WALK DONE BY SHINEGREYMON BURST MODE WHEN HE WENT UP AGAINST BELPHEMON RAGE MODE! THE DEATH GLARE! THE PUNCHING KURATA IN THE FACE!**

 **HE PUNCHED THE DIGIMON GOD IN THE FACE!**

 **MARCUS DAIMON IS FUCKING AWSOME! THE BEST DIGIMON PROTAGONIST EVER!**

 **Because I've had Digimon on the mind, I was thinking of doing a Digimon/Naruto crossover. a neglect fic (yeah don't we have about a thousand of them) were its Fem!Naruto, and due to a dimensional mishap, becomes a digimon in the digital world due to failing a suicide attempt on her life when she had everything taken from her. the pairing I had in mind was a Angewomon!FEM!Naruto x beelzemon. because beelzemon is fucking awesome and deserves all the bitches. seriously, beelzemon looks really fun to write, just look at this example from another fanfic: "See, this is why we need to invest in weed whackers! Motherfuckers be growing and shit!"**

 **im seriously considering doing the story. if anyone wants to make their own version of the above, go ahead. by the way people...**

 **season two sucked ass!**

 **AND THATS ALL SHE WROTE!**

 **CUE THE AIRHORNS!**

 **BABABABWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!**


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